Sunday, December 30, 2007

because it is a midnight and i am hungry

i've got this feeling in my head right now. i can't point a finger on it, but then, it's a feeling that compels me to do something. something like contemplate, which i don't actually do a whole lot. or even read a book. just do something, my head tells me. but what it is, i do not know. i this an effect of the end of the year fast approaching? or maybe it was the combination of coke and gatorade that has put my head into this state of being.

somehow today has been the climax of me feeling really, really old (maybe mature, but i don't really think i deserve to be called as such) these past few days. my younger sister is almost rebellious right now. something i did not think would happen, but it did. so here i am, watching, talking to her. i don't want to see my sister cut herself or something. i think that's a total bummer. or maybe i just hate the fact that people mutilate themselves due to emotional distress. really pointless. i hope i can pull this off. heck, i am growing old, i'm even starting to become the man in the house. of course next to my dad.

when i was a tad little younger i didn't think i'd be in this situation, growing up to be a man (haha, i am still apprehensive in typing this, but i have to let this go.

or else it's gonna explode in my face.

i've always liked to be depended on, i've always wanted to help. somehow growing up, i get tasked these responsibilities, chores or whatever. then i watch the other people grow together with me. i've seen my folks grow, i've seen my friends grow, i've seen my sisters grow and i have seen myself grow, amongst others. somehow i have probably reached that part in my life wherein it is me who shall take on the reins and direct my life to where i want it to go. slowly, but definitely, independence has been given to me. then that point would come, where i am my own boss in my life.

somehow i'll have to be able to accept the changes happening in my life right now. my sisters need me. my family needs me. and maybe someone else out there needs me. i'm thrust into this scenario where i to tell myself that i am no longer a child. not that i'll be growing up into some ridiculous, pessimistic monster, but i'd rather not lose the optimism in me that keeps me going. it may make others happy, and seeing others happy makes for a smiling me. (haha) looks like i'll be graduating from my teens sooner than i thought. my goodness. and i thought i was going to go through that twen-teen syndrome a lot of people have.

someday i'll go through all these things which i wrote. the dreaded blog archives. haha. then i'll get a better picture of me. growing up.

i'd pick growing up, rather than growing old.
i hate the word "old". reminds me of a very sad dream i had. peace.

Monday, December 24, 2007

what time is it?! it's christmas time! hoooo!

contrary to what i've thought for the past few days, i would not be posting a very serious blog post due to the fact that it may spoil the holiday spirit. and who wants to read something too serious when everyone is happy and merry-making eh? so here i am, updating my blog.

hooray! this would be the 100th post! on Christmas Eve! haha! life is good my fellow people. indeed. although i threw away 400 bucks for a set of crummy earphones (damn you odyssey. i still can't get over it), i feel though that everything would work out, starting today.

i've completed the nine mornings of mass!! wooop wooop!!!! i still don't know if my wish would be granted, but i do hope so.

moving on, i wish that everyone enjoys this Christmas season, where it be an up or down year for y'all. it's always good to end the year with a bang, and with the new year just around the corner, this would also be a good time to evaluate oneself. what you did, what you learned (side note: suddenly my stomach is aching. not good), what you've accomplished during the past 365 days. then thank the Lord for every blessing you have received. people often overlook this, so be a nice boy/girl and give thanks to the man above.

i suddenly realized that I too, am growing up. like what my long time friend has jokingly said to me, "nagbibinata ka na?". which got me into thinking. well, somehow, i've encountered experiences that have shaped me into what i am now, and i am glad to say that, well, i've grown as a person. so too are the people around me. i think surrounding myself with the right mix of people has made me better and wiser than the year before. wow, so feeling ko naman antanda ko na. pero ok lang. i really think i've outgrown myself from last year. i hope this bowls over to 2008. that would be fun. :)

i want to say once again, thanks to all of the people whom have made this year as memorable as the other years. in a few month's time we would all be in our last years in college (well, not for me, i still have med school), and a few more moments after that, we'll be graduates. Christmas, i think, is the best time to thank all of those people whom you have made memories with. do remember that i love you all!!!

happy holidays! :D

Friday, November 30, 2007


for my 99th post, i have decided to talk about something i have recently contemplated about. usually, everyone wonders what our tomorrow would look like. since we live in a society dictated by our endless hours of toil, confusion, and grumbling of our stomachs, no one has risen up to provide us with a vision of what we should look forward to in the coming days.

while our pathetic government gives us a vague picture of our nation's "development", we Filipinos are still here, living on a day-to-day subsistence. Where the meals we worry about are the meals we eat today, not giving so much thought on what tomorrow brings. we have holed up ourselves too long in this "present day" attitude of us. because in order to bring forth change, a vision is required.

as our high school class valedictorian has said in his inaugural address, "ano pa ba ang nasa dako pa roon?" ("what is thee over thy yonder?" for the common playwright). usually, we may reply with the i don't know and i don't really care face. or maybe that was just my case. i was the immature young man back in high school. i can happily say that i am now unlike that young man nowadays. life has made me a bit more mature, a bit more ready to take on life. in order to achieve what we see the in future, it is vital that ample preparation should be undertaken.

recently i have convinced myself not to believe in those fortunetellers out in the streets, claiming to know your future. not that i really believed them, but the false overtures that they give sometimes get through the people so much that those whom had seen them attest to their credibility. nagkakatotoo raw mga hula nila. e ayun nga, mga hula lamang iyon at hindi dapat pinapaniwalaan. "manghuhula" nga sila e. hinuhulaan lang nila ang mga pwedeng mangyari. i think that mentality is wrong, but this assumption cannot be helped for their prediction presupposes the forthcoming events. that being said, i theorized that any kind of message related to our immediate future brings to our innate subconscious a kind of message that, these certain events should happen. accordingly, we actually do steps in order to achieve what the fortuneteller has told us. that should not be allowed to happen. we ourselves are in direct and total control of our lives (unless you yourself are being controlled), and our future is a big part of it.

unlike other creatures, we are unique because a) we have a thing called culture, and b) we are the foremost agent of change in our lives. we must not let our visions for ourselves be limited by those who are around us. we are not forbidden to stretch the limits of what we can achieve for the human being is capable of anything that he puts his mind and conscious effort into.

as my professor has told in our class, the construction worker who sees the formation of a church in the piles of hollow blocks and cement is the best worker, for he has established a vision, a visible goal, an end for which all means would lead up to. we must be like this worker. we must work on our lives, set goals and work hard to achieve them. any obstacle in the way is to be conquered. every failure should be taken with lessons learned. every critic should be silenced. this is how human life should be. an adventure of unlimited discovery and achievement. a testament of the power of the will.

the true power of humanity is its ability to change the world. it is in everyone's hands and therefore, all must work for the better life. it may be idealist but what the heck, if it is for the greater good, then it should be done.

My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny. - Elaine Maxwell

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

not today

i was supposed to blog about something today, but apparently, i don't think i would push through with it right now because my pc has acquired this habit of disconnecting from the internet (which is a lot of bull)

please let Christmas come early. i need the money to upgrade my beloved computer.

Sunday, November 18, 2007


Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

Boys Like Girls

by accident, i stumbled upon this song one boring day surfing your friendly neighborhood mp3 streaming site. the first time i heard this, i was, well blown away. i desperately had to get myself a copy of the song. i actually downloaded the original song, then a few days later i learned that they had an acoustic version. then and there i realized that it was the acoustic version that dragged me into this hole where i can just spend one whole day listening to one song.

the last time i was so hooked to one song was during my senior year in high school. then now as i am spending my third year in college, i stumbled upon this. this is such a good song for those who love somebody.

the song was originally about a summer fling. which, by the time it ended, made the person singing realize that he didn't want another fling and decided to take on his fling to another level, but that was already impossible because it ended pretty badly.

i think being in love gives a lot of people this aura of invincibility. this "you and me against the world" attitude. but sometimes, we need to mix this invincibility with a dose of realism. we need to put into perspective the possibilities of sourness and bitterness in a relationship. having realism in a relationship means that each one of you needs to work hard in order to preserve what has already been established. love is about hard work. being in love is already a commitment and staying in love is a passion worth taking risks for. it's the happiness and the fulfillment that people yearn from love. i think it is what they are looking for in their significant other.

but at the end of the day, we all like to feel invulnerable at some point of our lives. that's what the song points out. it poses a challenge to the world to bring it on. because he can take it all for he is in love.

too bad a lot of people don't know about this song. nice. i hate it when something i like becomes too popular. :)

Friday, November 16, 2007

the week that was..

*due to insistent public demand, i have simultaneously updated both my blogger and multiply blog with the same post. A FIRST! :D*

the first week of my second semester isn't really finished yet, but i did do a lot of things, some of which are entertaining while the others aren't really interesting. i did pick up some new things while i was out there in Manila doing my business (which was to spend and save money).

next week would be our first reporting and our group reflection paper. should be a piece of cake for our group THE FIRM for we are, should i say, the best of the best men in our block.:)

what did i do this week which merits a mention in this space of mine?
- went to Dulce Saguisag's funeral. then the President was there, which explained the tons and tons of security people both outside and inside of St.Scholastica's
- had to adjust myself of going back and forth to Manila (again, the daily grind has left me tired, but nevertheless i find solace in the fact that i got to know something new, although i don't really know what it was)
- spent more time strolling at the mall rather than sitting in the classroom (due to cancelled classes)
- first time for me to encounter a super early bird professor (which made me look like someone who was late)
- bought my coveted nike thong slippers (OH YES!) next on my list: PC UPGRADE!
- had my allowance reduced *sigh*
- thought about blogging my opinion regarding the thin line between being thrifty and being a cheapskate (maybe it's going to appear in my blogspot, when i have the time)
- affixed my signature in a number of accomplished form 5s of the UPM students (salamat chairman Robert sa iyong pagpapa-unlak, kahit di ako USC. wahahaha!)
- thought about joining an org (FINALLY!)
- finally went to Cerealicious, which was delicious by the way, and no, the cereal doesn't get soggy even if it was dipped forever in their milk. SUGOI!
- watching Air Gear (also shown in ABS-CBN), really cool anime. i hope they have prepared a next season
- loving and appreciating life with friends and with the one i love. naks. anlandi. :P

and so it was my Monday to Friday. i still have Saturday though. Chaikofi mode raw kami. Nice. I want the VIP lounge with the strobe lights inside their tables. :)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

memory plus

because of a lack or should i say, drought of inspiration to post, i haven't been able to write a lot in my blog for a while. i guess i'm not the type of person who's passionate about writing so that means either i blabber a lot or i write a load of non-sense in my posts. or maybe i'm just too lazy to write about anything. my middle finger hurts (it's sore) which means typing nowadays would become a tad too tedious to engage in. so anyway, after this useless banter i should get on talking about what i'm supposed to discuss about: memories.

after some blog hopping, and after watching episode 1 of eureka seven for the nth time (must watch anime, really!) i stumbled upon a concept which is a worthwhile topic of conversation, the thing we call memories.

because time does not stop for us, and because you can't step on the same river twice, we have memories. these fragments of thought which are used to store specific events which happen to us in our everyday lives. they range from small ones to big, cinematic ones. even those idle moments some of us take for granted can be considered great memories for some.

all the memories we have are stored in the brain. nothing is spared. i suppose it only boils down to the preferences of the individual whether he decides to repeatedly remember a specific moment of his or her life, or none at all. i don't think this is about the brain's power to recall data, but rather it is the willingness of the person to remember which powers the resurfacing of his/her memories.

we all have our favorite memories. we also tend to attach them to people, especially those who are dear to us. for me it is an imperative that each and every person we meet has a memory associated to them if ever we want to recall them. our memories of them serve as our tags to organize them inside our head.

i have a quote about memory.. goes something like:
"the thing about movies and music is that they aren't about the stories they tell, but rather the memories they create. they remind you most of all the past relationships and realizations you have made in your life."

i have a little theory about hit songs and movies. i think those which remind us most of ourselves, of what we have experienced in our lives, of the people we have met, are the ones which we love the most. that the most beloved movies and music are those which share the common sentiments of the people. i suppose that's why the topic of love is thrown around a lot, because people are drawn to it, because they can relate. because they see themselves in that man standing outside the window, drenched in the pouring rain and waiting for his love to come out. somehow a lot of us have these kinds of memories. or maybe not, but they easily associate themselves to these characters.

i think everyone is yearning to find someone who shares the same set of memories about a certain situation as they do. that's why it is best to ask help from someone who has been through what you are going through, although it is hard to find someone who had the exact same experience as you did, a few parallels should readily bridge the gap between two people.

memento. it is an object which represents a memory. it was there when that moment happened, and as such, it becomes a silent witness to what transpired that day. i think everyone possesses a memento of his or her favorite memory. it helps in the recall process. and well, it serves as a reminder that, in some point in your life, you experienced this and this object becomes evidence that, indeed, such a moment happened in your life.

memories, no matter how fleeting, how painful or how long, are always cherished by those who share them with other people. for many individuals, sharing memories with other people is an affirmation of their lives and existence. it is the
keystone which unlocks a trove of emotions, both good and bad.

remember when they say, "you don't know what you got till it's gone"? it's the memories which remind you of the real value of what you just lost. memory is an intangible carrier which is controlled by the surrounding environment. it is the clay which is molded by the surroundings and hardened by time. for us, it is the clear testament of the moments that we have had, both good and bad.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

one year

i haven't really noticed it, but to my disbelief my blog is already a year old. poor me i didn't notice it earlier, but its better late than never. so...


i remember trying to think of a domain name for my blog. medyo nahirapan din ako noon, kasi ayoko gamitin yung pangalan ko, at the same time ginusto ko ng unique na phrase or something.

then after playing through the whole 4 campaigns of Warcraft 3: Reign of Chaos for the nth time, i hit upon the word "ethereal".

in my own lexicon ethereal means false or illusionary. cool. then i stacked in the word reality, and there you have it. literally my blog name means "false reality", a very common philosophical paradox often found in the works of Focault, Eco and Kant.

but that doesn't mean that everything in this blog is false. nothing is. this is me, this is what i do and what i sometimes think.

writing for me has become an outlet and a refuge, much like the game of basketball. it can be emotionally charged most of the time, and there are those rare times where intellectualism kicks in and then there would be too few people who know what i talk about. its fun really, especially when people come in and read then leave comments (paparinig sa mga di nagcocomment! haha) and when people appreciate or somehow relate to what i write. it is a good feeling, and so i continue to write when i have both the time and the material to go with it.

so to all of those who regularly drop by, please leave a comment. it is very much appreciated. and don't worry, i'm not going to diss you all. maybe just one at a time. :D

Sunday, October 21, 2007

the beginning of something beautiful

i can't really put a finger on it in my head, but i think there exists a song with the same title as this one.
well, i'd have to admit this one came pretty late. a bit of time has flown since i have rebooted my life and everything is in tippety-top shape so far.

called me blessed, or maybe i'm just that lucky.
but i'd be forever thankful and grateful to a lot of people.

okay, so there are a lot of people. but i just want to train my eyes on this particular person.
can you imagine going home at night, getting inside your room with the lights off, slipping off your sneakers then plopping yourself down at your bed, heaving a big sigh saying to yourself that the day is officially over...

then suddenly smile? parang tanga lang no? hahaha...

then there would be times when you're down. times where days can be a drag. may it be because of the annoying rain, flunking exams or pesky people around you, it just puts you down at times. but in spite of all of this, here you are silently laughing to yourself because something funny happened.

i can't remember the last time anyone really went out of their way to make sure that i wasn't cranky or sad anymore. but hey, i have that someone now. and well, i can heave a collective sigh of relief to my problems. take that! haha!!

i remember telling myself when i was a little kid that no one's ever going to like or even understand me. i remember meeting people who have proven me wrong. i remember the ups and downs with them. then i remember us parting ways because of me screwing up big time.

then i remember her. and i remember how hard it is to write about her because i couldn't stop smiling and i can't start typing.

to hell with having a lot of people. just give me 2 or 3 really good ones. i'd take that anytime.
or better yet, give me someone like her. i'd be set for my whole life.

"this is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world, and while she looks so sad in photographs i absolutely love her, when she smiles..."

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

something i learned this semester

to review for a final exam is boring.

in lieu of reading a whole lot of words regarding our national hero, here i am now, typing them instead. a lot has been said about what he said, a lot has been done since what he has done himself, so frankly i don't think anything substantial would be bound to come out of this post of mine.

the only thing that would matter this time would be my opinion, for this is my personal space.

as of this time, maybe there would also be other people who are bound to study more about our national hero. not that their school requires them to, or that a certain subject of theirs needs a little backgrounder about Rizal, but because they want to. after all, it takes a lot of things to be tagged with the alias "the pride of the Malayan race" or "the greatest Malayan who ever lived.". from food to fencing, from education to engineering, from ladies to linguistics, Rizal has took them on and has excelled at them with immense style and ease. he was, as i would like to call him, an academic machine. a tank with perpetual motion, able to operate at dizzying speeds and accomplish a whole lot in a very short amount of time. to calculate his efficiency would be something of a beauty. no movement wasted, nothing taken for granted.

calm, cool and smart. not your typical nerd. he could lay down his fists as if it were the law if he wanted to. he was the school valedictorian with the bully's strength. he was the doctorate holder who had a jiu-jitsu black belt. he may be, in our time, the Nobel Prize laureate, Olympic Gold medalist and UFC lightweight champion all at the same time. he was THAT good. and he was a Filipino.

but apart from all the accolades (including the 22 languages he speaks fluently), he was first and foremost a nationalist. a reformist who wanted equality practiced in his homeland between his people and their conquerors.

he whom wrote two blockbuster novels which depicted scenes of society delivered with his own critical commentary in the form of his lead character. part historian and part sociologist, our national hero gave us a 3rd person perspective of what the Filipino has endured during the arduous and taxing reign of the Spaniard. noting that not only was thorough critique given but also comprehensiveness not being compromised unlike in other history books written today.

Joe was THAT good. his teachings are timeless. his writings have a certain prophetic ring to it. fanatics to him claim that he is a godsend. a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. yet the mere fact that his writings about society which were published more or less 300 years ago are still applicable today indicate a sad truth: we still have not progressed as a nation.

backward, neo-colonial and marginalized. this is who we are. and unless a conscious effort is given to make sure that our national hero's works are to be rendered ineffective in today's world, we would still be stuck in where we are. still a conquered and beleaguered people whom owe their identity to foreign powers in control. the only things which are different in today's society is the fact that we are being controlled in more subtle and psychological ways. our patronization of the english language is one. sabihin nyo nagsusulat ako ngayon sa ingles. oo nagsusulat ako para yung mga nagfifeeling na magaling dyan at nakakaintindi ng ingles (kuno) e basahin yung blog ko. para mamulatan naman sila. para di sila tawaging tanga at ignorante.

if what Rizal wrote a couple of hundred years ago still holds true today, then we have a lot of work to do. if what we see in his writings still reflect in our society today, then we can say that we still live in the Spanish era. Filipinos still being a minority in their own land. peddling what remains of their "culture" to tourists who feel that they immerse themselves in deeply rooted cultural activities. in a world where everything is sourced to maximize profits and gains, nobody has yet taken that step backward to see if we have moved even a little bit as our national hero envisions us to, or there are a lot already, such as the Constantinos, but their influence is heavily limited to those who have access to the vast syntheses they have made for Philippine historiography. our national hero's writings are preserved for a lot of reasons, one to for us to appreciate his vision for a better nation, and another to be a guide or a point of comparison for us to know if we have indeed made strides forward towards national development. if we still see ourselves in the picture Rizal has painted in his works, then what we have done is inadequate.

there is more work to be done. and there can never be too many hands to do the dirty work.
if we fight a mirror image of ourselves, all we have to do then is to break the surrounding glass.

Monday, October 01, 2007


galing kami sa senado kanina. kasi kinapanayam namin si Senador Pia S. Cayetano ukol sa isyung e-waste.
eto mga nangyari:
- late si mark at nilibre nya kami ng pamasahe (taxi pa) papuntang GSIS kung saan nagtatrabaho ang mga senador
- di pumasok yung magaling kong titser kaya di rin kami nakapagpasa nung case study na pinagpuyatan ko. haha laking abala talaga.
- daming media at senador sa senate building (malamang)
- dami ring kupal. mga mayamang squatter. mga kakandidato sa eleksyon kaya pumunta sa senado para manghingi ng suporta sa isang senador.

lalaki1: oi pare! long time no see! balita ko kakandidato ka raw sa barangay ninyo a.
lalaki2: oo nga pare. kaya nga ako andito e. hehehe!!!

tignan ninyo, ultimo mga taong kumakandidato sa mga mababang posisyon ay nag-aabala pang lumuwas ng maynila upang mamalimos. ang gastos ninyo. para kayong mga tao sa wowowee. napakahayok sa pera. tama yung kinaiinisan naming security sa sinabi niya.

"mga maliliit na buwaya lang naman yang mga yan eh."

- dumalo rin kami ng senate hearing. may mga bill na madaling napasa. at dun ko narealize na ang privilege speech pala ay maaring maging tungkol sa kahit saan. sa senado, pwede kang dumaldal ng tungkol sa kinain mong almusal kaninang umaga kahit na tungkol sa national budget ang agenda ng inyong meeting.
- sa wakas nakita ko na rin sa tunay na buhay ang pagwawala ni Miriam Defensor-Santiago. ayos.
- andun din si Rez Cortez. baka papanoorin nya si Kiko Pangilinan. o kaya sisigaw sya ng "NO TO MR. NOTED!" habang nagsasalita ang asawa ni Sharon.
- walang pumapansing taga -media kay Migs Zubiri sa Senado. hmmmm bakit kaya?
- nagresign na si Benjamin Abalos bilang Comelec Chairman
- may babaeng dumating na galit na galit na pinagmumura ang mga Aquino. malamang isa sya sa libu-libong sakada na nabiktima ng pangmomolestya ng mga may-ari ng lupa.
- at may bago na kaming crush. si Art Angel! woohoo!

yun lang. masaya mag-ikot sa senate building. at tama naman ang mga senador natin. may mga problema tayong sana ay tapos na kung maayos lamang ang pag implementa ng batas.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

salamat sa bench

yesterday BENCH saved my day. and my life.

bow. :P

Thursday, September 20, 2007

an apple a day keeps sadness at bay. :P

an apple. so? masarap yan. hahaha!!! weird yung fusion ng caramel at yung fruitiness ng apple. it's a new experience for me, este, for us pala. hahaha!!!

more apples to come! woohoo!!!

next up: frozen bananas and caramel fondue!!!!

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

mga kwentong regular bus

Mas masarap yata to ikwento sa tagalog. Hehe.. mga kwentong bus daw o. ayos. Hindi ito yung bus na de aircon ah. Eto yung bus na regular. Yung sinasakyan ng karamihan sa ating hindi gaanong kalakihan ang laman ng bulsa matapos ang isang araw ng pagtatrabaho o kaya’y pag-aaral. Yung sinasakyan ng mga nagtitipid tulad ko kapag malamig naman ang panahon at hindi gaanong brutal at nagpapawis ang aking balat. Eto yung bus ng masa. Eto ang pinakamalapit sa tao, at sya ring pinakanaglalaman ng mga samu’t saring kwento ng pakikibaka, pagtatagumpay at kasiyahan sa gitna ng laganap na kahirapan at paghihikahos dulot ng mga garapal sa itaas at ng mga nagpapatakbo sa kanilang mga banyaga.

Nung igala ko ang tingin ko sa mga pasahero ng bus noong gabing yon, nakita ko ang mga pagmumukha ng mga taong pagod, at kung minsan naman ay, kuntento sa kanilang nagawa ngayong araw. Sila’y mga manggagawa, mga estudyanteng dugyot tulad namin, mga klerk ng department store, mga trabahador sa pabrika at kung anu-ano pang mga samut-saring trabaho. Dito ko naisip na, ito ang realidad ng lipunang ginagalawan ko. Dito rin nagsimulang umagos ang daloy ng inspirasyon na bumalot sa aming dalawa ng aking kasama rin sa bus. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, napagnilayan namin ang aming mga minimithi, mga pangarap at mga gustong makamit pagkatapos mag-aral. Napag-usapan din namin ang realidad ng buhay dito sa pilipinas, mga nakaraang nakakawiling ungkatin tulad ng mga ala-ala nung hayskul, mga nakaraan ng ibang tao, mga ex boyfriend nya, mga taong hindi marunong magbasketbol at ang tatak ng pulitika na umiiral dito sa ating bansa.

Malaking tulong din pala ang paglanghap sa tunay na hangin, mabaho man ito o hindi. Masangsang man ang amoy ng hanging ito o kaya’y mabango, hinding hindi mawawala mula rito ang katangiang ito ay buhay, kabaligtaran ng hangin na lumalabas mula sa bibig ng isang air conditioner, na bagamat malamig ay likhang tao lamang na hindi nagtataglay ng buhay.

Tinanong ako ng aking kasama kung bakit napili kong mag-aral sa UP manila.
Ganito ang nasabi ko sa kanya.

Tignan mong maige ang paligid mo, walang mga puno di ba? Walang lilim, walang proteksyon mula sa kalikasan. Ano ba ang andito sa Maynila? Walang iba kundi ang katotohanan ng mga nangabubuhay dito. Ang kahirapan, ang masangsang na amoy, ang kriminalidad, ang hindi kasiguruhan ng iyong buhay at ang nakakapasong init ay araw-araw na hinaharap ng mga tao rito upang mabuhay pa ng isa pang araw at nang sa gayon ay panatilihing buhay ang kanilang pangarap na kasaganahan. Sa tingin ko’y kapag nalampasan mo ang apat na taong kurso sa peyups maynila ay maari mo nang harapin ang ano mang kalokohan na pwedeng ibato sa iyo ng buhay.

(medyo pinapogi ko yung nasabi ko, pero eto rin naman yung punto nun e. haha.)

delikado ba kamo sa diliman? Subukan mong dumaan sa pedro gil ng gabing gabi. Tignan natin kung di ka masaksak pag napagtripan ka ng mga kumag dun.

Pangarap kong magduktor. Hindi dahil sa pera. Hindi para sa angas. Hindi para sa karangalan. Gusto kong gawing mas mainam ang kalusugan ng mga taong nagkukumahog magtrabaho upang may maipakain sa kanilang sarili. Gusto kong tulungan ang putang nagbebenta ng kanyang laman para lamang mapaaral ang nakababatang kapatid, ang manggagawang sumasali sa kilos protesta upang siguruhin ang kaayusan ng kinabukasan ng kanyang mga anak, ang guro na walang sawang nagbabahagi ng kanyang kaalaman hindi lamang sa kanyang asignatura kundi pati na rin sa kanyang kaalaman ukol sa buhay. Nais kong tulungan ang mga maliliit na mga mamamayang ito, na kahit wala sa upuan ng kapangyarihan ay nakakakita pa rin ng paraan upang makatulong sa pagsasaayos ng lipunang sinira ng patuloy na pananamantala mula sa mga nakakataas. Nais kong tulungan silang maging malusog, nang sa gayon ay mabuhay pa sila ng isa pang araw upang ipaglaban ang kanilang mga paniniwala’t adhikain.

Ito ang kwento ng isang tao na sumakay ng isang regular na bus. Isang tao na kahit papaano ay naisagawa ang mga ipinukpok sa kanya ng kanyang mga propesor sa kolehiyo. Ang taong kahit papaano’y naanalisa ang katotohanang tumambad sa kanyang harapan. Isang taong nag-iisip. Hindi na ignorante. At higit sa lahat, isang taong mulat.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

Let's GO UP!!!

*the following are thoughts of someone who has watched his favorite team literally resurrect themselves back from the depths.*

i've always been proud of my school. though i'm not the blabber mouthed, active and engaging student who parades himself/herself as a bona fide member of the UP constituency, i am still, by heart, a true Isko. someone who has lots of stuff to do in my everyday life, yet still manages to squeeze out free time and funds to show my support for the school's team.

yeah i know, we are 0-15 (i think). we suck. we have the worst record in the UAAP standings. i've never seen a team with such a record that sucked. we were supposed to suck anyway, but not by this degree. hell, we're even heckled by people we don't know who relentlessly throw one-liners at us.

"o bigyan nyo na yang mga taga-UP na yan, andami namang panalo ng mga yan e."
"o tatakan mo na yang mga yan, para namang mananalo sila di ba?"

this kind of mediocre verbal attack places them at a level way below what we perceive as standard decency. di ko nga magets e, anlaki yata ng mga problema nila sa eskwelahang pinapasukan ko. di naman sila napasok sa ibang eskwelahan. di naman sila mukhang alumni. mga pangkaraniwang manggagawa naman din sila, na binabayaran yung pag-aaral ko. i really don't get it.

what i do know is, despite of our dubious record which i think no team would ever match, our boys have lived up to our school's name. FIGHTING Maroons.

Yeah, there have been times that the losses were too much to swallow (30+ pts margin in more than 3 games) but the boys showed up to play once more the next game. There were also disheartening losses (like the one in FEU) which would really make you wonder how these boys got up from where they were sleeping on and trod the path towards the gym in the wee hours of the morning or afternoon, while all the time thinking of the bundles of requirements they also have to submit (they’re students like us, you know). Being a varsity member doesn’t mean you’d be excused for slacking, because you’re not.

Yes I know, I’m cutting once more the slack that these boys burden. The high expectations, the bitter taste of loss, the fact that every loss amounts to something more as they pile up and the utter frustration and gloom (thank you Studio 23) they have to suffer everyday.

No, I’m tired of pointing fingers. I’m tired of the politics and the whatnot. Let those who are ambitious enough for their own good deal with such bullshit. Joe Lipa is a good coach. Papa Rod (assistant director for athletic recruitment) wouldn’t be lying to me if he said that they always had great practices. Overall it’s the general willingness of the players which are to blame for this. None of them execute plays, none of them plant screens, none of them sacrifice for the team. Sabi nga nung nakausap kong matandang lalaki (UP Alumnus and probably a former Maroon himself) walang puso maglaro yung mga bata ngayon. I kinda agreed with him. I’ve had enough of the “me-first” attitude and the scorer’s mentality they bring to the floor every time. Why won’t they mold their attitudes to the school’s founding principle? The Oblation means giving oneself for the greater good of humanity. Why won’t these guys sacrifice for the betterment of the team? I really don’t know the answers to that question. I’m leaving space for them to prove me wrong next year. I want to see selfless team basketball. I want to see set plays being run. I want to see players who cut hard receive a good pass, and of course, I want to see them win it all. I’m not rushing. Just win it all while I’m alive. Haha.

Supposedly, this blog was for bashing the players for their selfishness on the court. But something happened that changed my mind. Something that happened for 10 minutes.

T’was the last game for the year, and we were against Adamson. Again, mediocrity set in, and we found our beloved school down by 27 at one point of the game due to stupid turnovers and porous defense. I was already waiting to throw in my version of the white towel, or wave the white flag, or whatever to stop the game and further humiliation of our Alma Mater. But the boys bought in something that was missing for fourteen games: their heart.

Suddenly, stops were made, shots were swat, defenses forced turnovers which led to easy baskets, and a few loose balls chased here and there, and suddenly that huge 27 point summit was whittled down to twelve with 8 minutes left on the 4th quarter. I’ve never seen Mike Gamboa run like that. It was like he was running for his life, along with his teammates. He celebrated, he jumped for joy with every made basket. I was impressed by Zarlo dela Victoria’s defense on Patrick Cabahug. He shut down his man for almost the whole time he was on the court. Too bad he got victimized by a lot of touchy calls and he got strapped with 4 fouls. I was enthralled by the UP crowd and by the Maroons themselves. For an immaculate period of time, momentum was with us. We cheered and jeered. My voice gave out shouting those chants by the pep squad. For some unknown reason, we truly had something to cheer about our down-with-their-luck team. We were one with them. And there we were, surprisingly alive and well, coming up from the pits of a 27-point deficit. And it was good. Really, really good. I was alive and so were all the people around me. The energy was insane. We all stood up to see what would happen next. It was though we were winning. We lost in the end though. But we kept the score respectable and the game became a thriller at the end. It was a very enjoyable experience. And it made me think of how much I am proud to be a part of the UP experience. The thrill, the heartbreaks, the upsets and the joys. All of those were in that game. Our team gave it all. We gave them our all, and that was all that mattered.

I sang the University hymn with pride and honor. Something I haven’t really done yet until now, and it made me happy.

So, see you boys next year. Hopefully you’d be playing really good team ball by that time.

Sa puso at isipan, MAROON ang aking tangan.
U-niber-sidad ng Pilipinas!
Let’s GO UP!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


i'm a basketball freak. i think everyone whom has come to know me knows that. i live and breathe the game. i'm this guy who could talk about it all day. i play when i have time. i watch basketball shows. i am begging God to please give me cable tv so i could watch basketball games more often. when summer or sembreak comes, i come out every morning and shoot the lights out of our court (ok i admit it, my friends and i have ruined 2 nets because of shooting too much).

so here i am, a basketball crazy guy, wanting to talk about my school's team, the University of the Philippines Fighting Maroons Senior Men's Basketball Team.

i've been watching games of the UAAP since 2002. back then people practically worshipped wesley gonzales and enrico villanueva from Ateneo versus the Mike Cortez and Ren-Ren Ritualo show in
La Salle.

now all of the players of then are now in the PBA.

what about me? well, i was watching Jino Ferrer, Toti Almeda, Nestor David, Abi Santos, Jireh Ibanez and Marvin Cruz will my favorite school to win games. really, life is hard for UP. as a fellow Isko, i too am being subjected to arduous torture, freakishly short deadlines, endless activities and terrorist professors every single day. now these guys, well aside from those mentioned above, also worry about team strategy, the Xs and Os, and the big guns of the other schools. they had a coach (whom i cannot remember if it was Lito Vergara or not) who supported them and raised hell whenever they were messing it up at the court. the team was good, but they always came up short to qualify for the Final Four.

fast forward a few years. i am now a junior in UP. i've practically seen it all of what the school can offer. and now what happens to the Maroons? here we are, strapped with a whole bunch of kids who play well individually, but can't play well as a team.

where do we stand right now? we are here, in the lowest of lows. where we can't even look at the eyes of our schoolmates and co-constituents while singing our school hymn.

yes Ateneo alumni, i agree with what the lady on my right said during the ending ceremonies of our little game.

"we don't need your fucking applause."

The Maroons have become a running gag in the UAAP. are we proud to have a 0-13 win-loss record? i don't think so. I think all of us here are freaking tired of losing. Who wants to get used to losing? Not fucking me. Not anyone inside the UP community.

How many times has our beloved team come up short for a win? The closest one was the game with FEU, the team with potential ROY winner Marnel Baracael. We led that game 80% of the time, then we collapsed.

No more excuses. I want a win on Saturday against Adamson. Fuck the politics. Screw the point shaving and the gambling of games. Stop the pointing of the fingers. No one wants this “sweep” of ours. Let us deny Adamson a season 70 sweep. Their only win this season came at our expense. Let us return the favor shall we?

Let me say something that may produce a ring to your ears. The UP Fighting Maroons are good. Really? Yeah, they really are. INDIVIDUALLY that is.

Imagine this, have you seen these guys play a good quarter? Have you seen these guys spill their blood out on the court just to put points across the board? Have you seen them dive for those loose balls? Have you seen them clawing their way through thicker and bigger guys to get offensive rebounds?

I’ve seen them do that, and more. We are, and can actually, able to win games from any school save UE. Oh wait, no I’m taking that one back. WE CAN WIN AGAINST ANY FUCKING SCHOOL IN THE UAAP. PERIOD.

A step behind, a step too slow, a step too late. That has been the case of our players whose feet are too big to move around the court.

I’m cutting the slack for these guys right now, because they are receiving more flak and criticism than they should deserve. Come on haters from our school, stop pointing those fingers at people. What they need from us is our support. Not some dissin and trashtalk from you.

And for the players who represent our school, just hear what I’m going to say to you:

Mike Gamboa – you’re a good guy Mike. Tama yung anak kong si Bea, magaling ka nga. The comparisons to Marvin Cruz are well deserved. If you want the school to win, stop giving the ball to the opposition. Four turnovers a game? How many of those were on errant passes? Come on man, look before you pass. And stop poking the ball. Hindi lahat ng tao masusundutan mo ng bola. Try and play honest defense man. Naiiwan ka lang ng bantay mo pag sundot ka ng sundot e. And try not to force your way into the paint. You don’t want to miss a whole year like Marvin Cruz with an ACL do you? And oh, can you shoot the ball better next year? If you wanna be Marvin Cruz, heed my advice, improve your shot. Remember man, Marvin Cruz is the one you wanna emulate here. Not Japs Cuan.

Migs De Asis – “the assassin” eh? Yeah, for a while in your rookie year, you were. Betcha don’t know what an uncontested shot feels like. Look at your game man, a hand in your face every time you shoot. And in a fadeaway? You’re not Kobe or Michael, come on! Why not try and copy Reggie Miller for one? Make liberal use of screens. Cut fast, and cut hard. You have a big body Migs. Hasn’t it come to you to use that tank like body of yours? Konting gulang pa pare. You’ve managed to floor Chris Tiu last year (my favorite Migs de Asis highlight), certainly you can do it again right? At wag pikon. Man, you are the 1st player I’ve ever seen draw 2 fouls within 30 seconds. Try to keep your cool.

Woody Co – wow, anlaki mo pala sa personal. And you can shoot man. Really. Ano bang pwede kong sabihin sa yo? Well, the point shaving controversy got me somewhere and I thought, you’re freakin rich pare. Ano yun? Sana di totoo yun di ba? Just play the way you play. Good things come to those who work hard.

Jayfelson Agbayani – pare nakakatuwa ka maglaro. Lakas mo magcut, masipag ka sa depensa, mahilig ka sa ilalim ng ring. Tama yun. A few effective post moves should do the trick. Nestor David material ka tsong, galingan mo pa.

Veejay Serios – along with Martin Reyes and Woody Co, you my man are one of the most productive players in UP. Too bad your unbridled effort goes together with a L. I hope you continue what you do for the years to come. Sana di pa totoo na last year mo na to sa UP. You’re a very vital piece for the Final Four bid.

Martin Reyes – I was blinded by the brilliance of Migs de Asis back in your rookie year, yet now in the long run, you have shown the consistency that everybody loves. Allan Caidic-esque shooting, a fellow lefty jumpshooter like me (ehem) with the length to match. Like what I said earlier, use more screens, cut hard and be aggressive. I’d love to see you going strong to the basket.

Mark Lopez – was I hallucinating? The first time I saw you I thought Jason Castro transferred from PCU to UP. But then it wasn’t the case. You’re built and strong man. The only thing I wished you could have is better ballhandling skills. For me Mark Lopez bringing the ball up court is like a turnover waiting to happen. Don’t let the defenses abuse you man. And don’t overdribble.

For the rest of the UP players whose names I have not mentioned, try to play honest defense and contest shots and deny passes. And make the most of your time on the court.

A special mention to Coach Joe Lipa:

I really don’t know what you are up to, but I hate your player rotation. You see, for me it isn’t good to take out a player who is shooting well on the floor and putting him on the bench to cool off. Really, that’s not good.

On the brighter side, I wonder what would happen if the real you showed up. You know, the former you. The spunky, hot-headed, animated and passionate coach you once were. Obviously, I think you’re not really playing to win right now. You’re not coaxing players to play at their best. This isn’t practice Coach Joe, and if you want us to win, we’re going to need every bit of help we could get. I wonder if you’d still be around next season when the UP Centennial hits. Maybe you have a grand plan for that, but too bad, you were giving up all hope for this season.

You’re the only coach who has gifted us of a UAAP basketball title, and I believe you could do that again next year. But I would have liked you to use this season as a preparation for next year, not as an opportunity for us to be laughed at and bullied around by others.

Thus my rant is now complete. Wooh, haba rin nun a.
Good luck to us all.
U-niber-Sidad ng Pilipinas!

Monday, September 10, 2007

paint the streets with blood red


yun lang. just needed to get it out.
*nnnggggyyyyaaaawwwwwwrrrrrr* >:P

Wednesday, September 05, 2007


Oh, It is love - Hellogoodbye

Oh, It is love
From the first time I set my eyes upon yours
Thinkin' oh, is it love?

Oh dear
Its been hardly a moment and you are already missed
There is still a bit of your skin that I've yet to have kissed
Oh say "please do not go" but you know oh, you know that I must
Oh say "I love you so" but you know oh, you know you can trust

We'll be holding hands once again
All our broken plans that will mend
I will hold you tight so you know
It is love from the first time I pressed my hand into yours thinkin' oh, is it love?

Oh dear
Its been hardly 3 days yet I long to feel your embrace
There are several days untill I can see your sweet face
Oh say, wouldn't you like to be older and married with me?
Oh say, wouldn't it be nice to know right now that we'll be?
Some day, holding hands in the end
All our broken plans will abend
And I will kiss you soft so you know

It is love
From the first time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin' oh, is it love?

Your heart may long for a love that is more near
So, when I'm gone these words will be here to ease every fear
and dry up every tear
and make it very clear
I kiss you and I know

It is love from the first time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin' oh, is it love?
Oh, it is love from the first time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin' oh, is it love?

Oh I kiss you and I know it is love
From the first time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin' oh is it love?

_haha. nakyutan sa kanta o. :D

Monday, September 03, 2007


tis the first week of September and boy, there's a lot going on in my student life.

nakakawindang!!! woohooo!!!

toxic! toxic! toxic!!

for the first time in my whole college life, i am able to use the University jargon when there are many things to do.

at ngayon pa ako naramihan sa gagawin. oh well.

good luck!

Thursday, August 23, 2007

poetry topics

sa mga taong wala pa ring topic para sa aming poetry reading (alam nyo kung sino kayo), eto ay mga additional topics na pwede ninyong kunin.

1. terraforming - TAKEN by Mark
2. whaling (i.e. japanese mass whaling) - TAKEN by Ruthy
3. "sensitive" environments
4. extremophiles - TAKEN by Karl
5. Rare Earth hypothesis
6. voluntourism (volunteer work + tourism) - TAKEN by Dana da bertdey girl
7. carrying capacity (in ecosystems) - TAKEN by Riki
8. peak oil
9. "green" power
10. virgin territories

ayan, sinipag kasi ako. sana makatulong! ^_^

maaari lamang pong ilagay sa tag board o kaya magcomment kung kayo po ay kukuha ng topic, para di nakakalito. salamat po ulit!!!!

hindi po kailangang gumawa ng bagong account kung walang blogger account, basta click nyo lang yung comments. hehehe!!! :)


as of yesterday, i have signed up to be an online activist for Greenpeace.

yes, somehow within me is an environmentalist waiting to shine. hahaha!! but seriously, consider these simple facts that i have noticed during the past four years:
- since 2003, every succeeding summer has been a hotter one. thus i wonder how hot next summer will be, since we're going to the provinces for our immersion.
- yearly, the water level is going up, so if don't notice, your backyard was actually flooded when monsoon rains came around.
- how about the erratic weather? a long dry spell in july when it's supposed to be raining? what about the hot december we had last year? come on, 8am heat during a 5:30am simbang gabi? definitely not the Christmas i was used to.
- how come we've had these storm-like monsoonal rains when tropical storm Egay never actually hit Manila and Southern Tagalog?

it astounds me, that when we see a clean street, we tend to put our litter there. can't we realize that what we are doing is actually helping in the further deterioration of the Earth? nakakainis yung mga taong tapon na lang ng tapon. parang hindi kayo tao e.

here's something really simple for us to do. kung may makita kayong basura sa harapan nyo, please naman, pakipulot at ilagay sa tamang lugar. don't worry about getting the germs, you could always wash your hands later. and don't even think that a clean-up crew would always be around. for other people's sake, take action by yourself, even just for once. please. its going to go a long, long way.

and another thing, get educated. see what the moronic capitalists do not see. after you get educated, inform other people who do not know.

seriously, we only have a little time left. sana basahin to ng lahat ng taong dadaan man lang dito. dumaan na rin kayo e. salamat.

let us save the Earth. unless you can give me any other planet on which we could live on, please clean up your act. :)

Friday, August 17, 2007


Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

My 7 Random Facts/Habits

1. i consider myself mildly autistic

2. i hate storms due to the fact that they bring in noisy rain

3. i am a basketball nut (who doesn't know?)

4. stand-up comedy jokes only work once on me

5. i had the skin of my foot peel off for more than five times

6. i am VERY superstitious

7. i do not have a very good night tonight

Now i tag alpha, jerelle, sunogbaga, migi, ryan, me-ann and chowee

leaning beside the cold, fragile wind

here i am, currently sleepy, listening to sounds from tiny little speakers, writing something in this blank white space.

its literally storming outside, not exactly the weather we had a few hours ago.

the good thing about the storm is, it brings out these billowing, cold winds.
masarap magrelax. masarap gumawa ng wala.

masarap din kapag katabi mo yung taong gusto mong makatabi, sabay inom ng mainit na kape o sipsip ng umuusok na sopas, habang nakatalukbong sa loob ng malaking kumot na pinaghahatian ninyong dalawa. hehehe!!! :)

masarap ang malamig na hangin. makakapagjaket na ako. ayus.

Friday, August 10, 2007

strike me! strike me!

Everything has changed...
Faces stayed the same...

and then... then what?

Wednesday, August 08, 2007


survey mula kay chrish. astig.

10 years ago...

8yrs. old ako. hahaha!!! tapos wiling wili pa ako sa family computer. adik maglaro ng contra at super mario (kasama si miko, ang aking kababata). mahilig din kami maglaro ni miko ng mga sundalo sa veranda nila. hahaha!!!

5 years ago...

13 ako. kakasimula pa lang ng 2nd year. pinakamasarap na taon ng high school ko.

1 year ago...

2nd year ko ng kolehiyo. enjoy. hahaha!!!! pasok na ako sa dean's list.

5 snacks I enjoy: (at random)

1. siomai
2. pishbol
3. french fries
4. ice cream
5. proven

5 songs I know all the words to:

1. The Happy Birthday song
2. Lupang Hinirang
3. Theme song ng The Simpsons (da da da dada dadada dada dadadada dadadada!)
4. Burnout ng Sugarfree
5. We Love You Father Hannibal (AMP!)

5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:

1. purchase a Mclaren-Mercedes Benz SLR600
2. get a house for myself and my family in Valle Verde or Alabang (whichever they like)
3. buy lots and lots of Nike apparel
4. buy a new SE phone
5. play in the stock market (para naman lumaki. hahaha!!!)

5 places I would run away to:

1. basketball court
2. kwarto ko
3. simbahan (oo, tampulan ko ng problema ang simbahan)
4. rooftop ng bahay namin (para magpahangin)
5. bahay nina lolo

5 pieces of clothing I would never wear:

1. bras
2. ladies' clothing
3. jumpers
4. girly shoes
5. girly accessories

5 bad habits:

1. junk food
2. impulsiveness
3. exaggeration of emotions
4. hindi mareklamo (people don't know what's wrong when i'm sad or angry)
5. indolence (naks)

5 Biggest Joys:

1. buying something that i actually planned to buy
2. Naruto: Shippuden
3. helping people in need
4. Transformers
5. learning something cool (may it be a fact or a skill, doesn't matter)

5 fictional characters I would date:

1. Tsukino Azusagawa - Yakitate! Ja-pan!
2. Eureka - Eureka seveN
3. Rosemary - Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
4. Himeno Awayuki - Pretear
5. Elhaym Van Houten - Xenogears

Monday, August 06, 2007

sweet dreams

i had a very amusing sunday, with me texting everyone and everyone texting me. my cellphone was ringing (not really, it was in silent mode) non-stop. enjoy magtext ng magtext. hehehe!!!

i was using my cellphone so much that at the end of the day i had to charge it coz the battery was drained.

one really good friend of mine (oh jana ikaw yan. haha) cared to text me with some quotable quotes. seeing that she was alive and had credits to spend made me reply to her texts. as usual, our talk usually revolves around that person. With her getting annoyed and pitying me for my situation and all.

sabi ko naman nakahanap na ako eh, natuwa naman sya. nabigyan pa ako ng EXCELLENT!

as I bid her and my other textmates a good night, I somehow reflected on the fact that I am pretty lucky and blessed in my life today. Kahit papano, may supporting cast pa rin. Yung mga actors nag-iba, but the roles they portray are still the same. Wait, maybe not. Sure there are a few changes and such. Notable, but not drastic.

I slept the night away. Then I had a dream. A dream about her.

God has such a good sense of humor. Just when you thought you actually purged yourself of thinking about the person, yung tipong di mo na muna iisipin kasi pagod ka na, she suddenly reappears.

Ok, not literally. In my case, biglang nagtetext, o kaya magbibida sa panaginip ko. In short, nagpaparamdam. The worst thing is, I get worked up once again. Ginaganahan na naman ako pagkatapos nyang gawin yun. haha..

I don't know if I should be tormented by this. Maybe I'm just happy that I got my hopes restored. haha..

so, after not thinking about her for practically a whole day, she shows up in my dream. well, she was MY dream. nothing else happened. just me, her, and the other high school people.

we were all in a carnival. then there was this ride, which looked like one part of a rollercoaster and only had two seats. it was running on a rollercoaster track with all these twists and turns. the fun part was that it starts as one huge drop. everyone rode at the very top and screamed all the way down as if they were falling.

so there, we all went in and rode at the ride by pair. laftrip pa nga sila e, dapat daw isang lalaki at isang babae. haha e ang konti ng boys nun, kaya naka ilang ulit sila. ako once lang daw sumakay, kaya nilubos ko yung turn ko. hahaha...

i was wishing for divine intervention, that i may be paired up with that person. pero malas lang, ang nakapares nya e yung first love nya. asa pa ako di ba? hahaha.. ayun, pero sabi ko sa sarili ko ok lang, tropa kami nung first love nya e.

at tsaka mukhang masaya naman sya. haha..

pero syempre mas gusto kong ako yung kasama nya di ba? hahaha...
then the strangest thing happened, this friend of mine decided to give up his seat so that i could be the one who goes with that person for the ride.

napatanong ako kung bakit nya gagawin yun. sabi nya nakita nya raw yung pamaypay ko run sa upuan. tinignan ko yung ride, andun nga yung pamaypay kong pink. hahaha..

ayun, sabay kaming umupo. we buckled up, tapos nagstart yung ride. the ride was so fast that we were like falling, sabay kapit naman sya sa akin. haha tuwa naman ako...

then my mouth opened...

"antagal kong hinintay ang pagkakataong ito.."

then she looked at me, and she said..

"ako rin..", then she held me closer. ako naman si opportunista, todo yakap na rin sa kanya.

tapos hinalikan nya pisngi ko..

tapos nagising na ako...

(haha, walang mapagkwentuhan nung panaginip o. ayokong malimutan yung panaginip e. so i'm saving it here. ^_^ )

Thursday, August 02, 2007

anlabo ko talaga.

the idea for this blog come to me when i was strolling down the mall with my bestfriend. after reading the WWE:UNscripted book (a book which suddenly, i am dying to buy), a certain type of inspiration began to dawn upon me. somehow, it is compelling me to write something, something that inspired. something that would uplift someone who is down, agitated, or maybe worn-out with their day-to-day routine.

i wanted to write something that could be a source of comfort, or maybe even inspiration. maybe this would be it.

a few days ago, as i was thinking of what to blog next, i began toying with the idea of finding the philosophical, or maybe inspirational, substructures of my everyday routine. or even my everyday life.

today, i watched a certain movie about a french cooking rat, from which came this strong line:
"you can't change nature son..

change. a lot of us fear it. some of us welcome it with open arms. i think the way we perceive change really depends on what it gives us. for example, an unwelcome change would really be worse received than say, a new and interesting hobby, which is a welcome change from the drag of monotonous living.

of course, like everyone else, we want to develop our lives to the fullest and enjoy living them, thus we pray for better changes. but sometimes, or even most of the time, change brings to us a new adversity to overcome. a change of address, displacement from your former habitat, a new character entering the scene, all of these for me account that type of change.

i can't really summarize my life right now. so much is going on. some things go bad, others become good all of a sudden. sometimes i unconsciously aggravate the situation. most of the time though, i come to the conclusion that i don't really know what to do and what i am doing at the present.

there would be days where i pray to the Lord to give me a clean slate. you know, there would come a point in your life when you'd probably say to yourself, "nah, i don't have any problem as of the moment", and then you'd realize that you should be enjoying that point in your life because you don't really know what's going to happen next.

the sad truth about it was, by the time you've realized that you didn't actually relish that point in your lifetime, you've actually been cornered by all the demons of your past.

too late. sorry.

that's how my life has been. its not exciting, but not exactly dull.

this isn't the inspirational crap i was supposed to write, but then again, i don't really have a standard to follow when it comes to all things "motivational'.

it this just a random burst of thoughts caused by venting out the supposed "anger" down another avenue? maybe so. i AM in the mood to write right now. maybe i'm just too happy.

i just wanted to write something that would put a smile into anyone who reads this.

lemme see, i don't like writing long, dragging stuff. i too read blogs, and blogposts which are really long annoy me. c'mon, you're not writing a novel are you? (not referring to anyone. *ehem*)

"do you have a person who you want to be beside with when the world ends?"

i love this question. lucky for me i do have a person in mind. i think having someone who you treat to that regard is kind of like setting a long-term goal. and long-term goals need a lot of work and time to be achieved. its like earning your first million. its like graduating from your dream course. its like buying your first car, or maybe having your first child.

there's nothing more rewarding than planning ahead and watching your plans come to life the way you imagined it to be. take it from me. i've gone that far into my life.

there came a time where i really couldn't wish for anything more. i had that person. then everything else followed. everyday i wake up, i thanked the Lord that i had that person. Otherwise, i wouldn't enjoy my life as it is.

i would not love anyone else the way i had loved her.

there, i said it. its the clincher. the answer to a question that sometimes i find myself asking. would i find someone better than her? maybe. but then that isn't her. it's definitely not the same. i get annoyed with people looking for others expecting them to give the kind of experience they have had before. that's pushing it too much. every person is unique. and i believe each and every one of us has that person.

the only difference would be the rate in which we accept the fact that he/she is that person.

then comes the hard part, getting him/her to believe... to believe that he/she is that person.
is this a blog of true love? maybe so. or maybe this is just one of the musings of someone who has really nothing much to do and is getting bored to death.

my left index finger hurts. anyway,

its the believing part that's hard to do. that's where most of the hard work goes.

there was a time when my person believed in what i was saying. but then again, maybe she came to her senses. maybe she'd seen enough. maybe i was just one of the jerks who schemed in breaking her fragile heart.

i dunno. really. i've paused looking for answers, relying on the assumption that the answers would come to me one day. or maybe, one day we could be back together again.

it's really confusing, when you don't want to let go of someone who you truly loved, although that someone sees you as nothing more. nothing more than, nah, you already know what i'm talking about.

what's on my mind today:
50% school, 50% random whatnots.

i should finish it here, coz i don't really know what i've been talking about.

Saturday, July 28, 2007


very awesome birthday!!!

- libreng pancit canton c/o Ate Susan ng GAB canteen
- regalong condom mula kina Karl at Enrique at Mark
- regalong tshirt mula sa bespren ko, at isang nakakaantig na sulat!
- masayang tambay sa KFC kasama ang siomai kidz at arianne pusit!
- punta ng greenhills by bus
- libot sa virra mall
- maligaw at mag-enjoy sa fully booked
- magwaldas ng pera (money well spent)
- maghanap ng tshirt ^____^
- kumain ng yellowcab (wooohoo!)
- bumili ng Starscream ng Transformers! (katuparan ng pangarap!)
- makatanggap ng maraming bati mula sa maraming tao!
- magsaya
- mag-enjoy
- magpasalamat sa Diyos
- namnamin ang biyaya

wala man lang akong nakuhang pera mula kina mama. takteng yan. ayus lang. buti may ipon ako. wahehehe!!!!


and to all the people who have greeted me in their special ways, thanks so much and i love you all!!!!


*balik na ulit sa paglalaro ng Transformers nya*


post number 71!!!!!



Wednesday, July 25, 2007

blog meme 2: 7 strange and random things about me!

once again i am tagged by my homeboy chrish (wassup pare!) and now i begin my:

7 weird and strange things about me! (drum roll please)

1. when i was young, i loved to play a lot around our outdoor clothes hanger. ginagawa kong monkey bars and stuff. plus i made a lot of mannerisms with my hands (chronically jerking out and stuff like that)

2. because i made a lot of mannerisms out with my hands and i talked to myself a lot, my mother thought i was autistic.

3. i am allergic to tobacco and alcohol. which makes me a perfect excuse not to drink and smoke.

4. i absolutely cannot sleep without my favorite hotdog-shaped pillow.

5. i do not get aroused by porn anymore. siguro namanhid na ako sa sobrang panonood. :)

6. i am a naturally crazy capitalist. sa tagalog, kuripot!

7. i hate overly hyped and overly mainstream stuff. (may it be music or clothing)

and thus ends my blog meme. now i am tagging chowee (bespren! kaya mo to!) and jana. :)

Monday, July 23, 2007

miss ko na sya



Sunday, July 22, 2007


i had an enjoyable weekend. :)

the wind blew us off to alabang, kung saan kami iniwan ni justine (iniwan daw namin sya.. teka, panu namin maiiwan ang taong mabilis maglakad na nasa harapan namin?? haha!)

it took about an hour before we knew where we are. haha although that was an exaggeration, because we didn't get lost (thankfully), but it took an hour before mark reached us. we were already desperate. no food. no money. everyone else around us enjoying their food (sa loob kami ng jollibee naghintay), everyone NOT hungry. haha.

but of course, we were redeemed as our gracious host (mark's mom) fed us till we were fat. yeah there was lots of food going around and lying around. delicious food indeed. sabi nga ni karl, masarap daw spaghetti kina mark. ayun, soundtrip, gawa ng presentation, brainstorming, laro, nood ng matrix revolutions, tignan at mamangha sa mga retro pix ni mark, lokohan, tawanan, at kung anu-ano pa.

by 6:30pm we hied off mark's house to move to our house for the overnight (ayaw sumama ni mark malandi kasi. haha!)

loko rin yung jeepney driver na nasakyan namin pauwi, 7 na lang daw imbes na 10 yung bayad kasi pauwi na sya. ayus tipid pa.

pagkauwi ng bahay at 8pm, ligo agad kami sa sobrang init, tapos nood ng the simpsons hanggang 10 tapos gumawa na ulit kami.

sunday: (sunday na kasi 12am na to e)
after hours of bickering, we managed to finish around 65% of what has to be done. :)

sa kabagutan, sinubukan naming mag install ng dota. ayun nadiscover namin na yung cd na pinahiram ni mark ay may bonus 3rd disc:

barely legal #16

ayus. tawa kami ng tawa.

ayoko na, tinatamad na ako magkwento. basta enjoy yung unang beses na maghost ako ng overnight session sa bahay. andami daming pagkain. haha apaw yung coke (bakit kaya?) at busog kami palagi.

one of the rare days that i didn't find myself hungry. we had a good time. haha!!

dota na to ulit. hahahaha!!!!

ayus karl! ayus riki! sa uulitin!

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


its all going round and round right now.
suddenly it becomes cyclical. but then again, that would be alright. since repetition ultimately leads to the "getting used to it" feeling. it would be ok with just that. magandang balita nga siguro yun.

my bestfriend is happy. again, that comes first.

i'm loving the days right now. i've met and have become close with the other people who exist around me. its become fun reaching out to people who like to help. its a great feeling, really.

the dependency stops here. i've mixed it up, and frankly, i think i'm doing well at this.

gone will be the monotonous whining and musings of someone who is seen as overdependent to a single person. it's gonna be replaced by a feeling of relief, of support, of enjoying company of other people no matter how far they are.

this day was really tiring. just had this killer exam which had me almost brain dead. almost had an X mark put beside my name because we were the second to the last ones to answer a question correctly.

i love it when the pressure mounts. when everybody expects me to fall flat on my face. that's where i excel. i love proving people wrong.

when the odds are stacked against me, i bring out my "A" game. i love seeing the disappointment on people's faces when they see me triumph.

take that you bastards! haha!!!

again, thanks to all the people who made me happy right now. i love you all!!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

the faltering shadow of regret

note to self: never try to look at things which may induce indolence. (speaking of which, we have an exam about indolence tomorrow.)

- pictures
- comments
- wallpapers
- drawings
- gifts
- progress

yeah anything which can be really, really annoying and can make me really, really lazy.

it is very bad to think a lot. right now it also is very troublesome to think ahead. a really big problem for me.

nakakainis. haha. wala na tayong magagawa, ensconced na yung tao e. it would just be a matter of time. and it was all my fault. oh well, at least the little person is happy. ayus na yun.

yeah i missed bonding with my bestfriend. ok na yun. mabuti na yung lam nyang may pakialam ako.

so much for a great day. but a good day nevertheless.

happy beshie day to me.. and to my bestfriend.

best wishes na rin. haha..

Monday, July 16, 2007

my blog meme!

I have been tagged by my homeboy adrian. (haha) Blog meme raw ang title. Nice.

1. Food you hate--> lemme see, ayoko ng dinuguan. kasi dugo yun. haha! i also don't like the innards of chicken and pork. sa streetfood ayoko ng betamax at isaw (yung isaw kasi naexpose sa isang show dati, kadiri talaga). basically yun lang. anything else kinakain ko. hahaha!!!

2. Fruits that you hate--> durian. the one and only durian. ambaho kasi!

3.Veggies that you hate--> talong. kadiri ang talong. tsaka okra. come on, sino ang nakain ng tinaguriang "gummy veggie"? kahit anong sabihin ng "makulay ang buhay sa sinabawang gulay" hinding-hindi pa rin ako kakain ng talong at okra!!!

4. Celebrities or People you hate--> for me it's wrong to unjustly hate people. but one of the worst traits that people are prone to having is that they can be very inconsistent with what they say. they make you believe in this and that but in ultimately in the end they resort to the opposite. i really hate that when it happens. as for celebrities, i pretty much hate them all. they're like, you know, publicity whores and stuff, masyadong papansin na kasi minsan e. gagawa ng kahit ano para lang matsismis.

5. Events/incidents/situations you hate--> hmmm, awkward moments would be one. then there's when people discover something that i hid a long time ago. other than that, hmmm, traffic would be one. then power shortages would be another. then there's failure. really, i curse when i fail. plus it makes me look bad. haha!

6. TV shows or movies that you hate--> I HATE KOREANOVELAS. PERIOD. oh, and of course any other show imported from the ASEAN region + Taiwan and China.

7. Type of Music that you hate--> bands with either singers that suck, too overrated, victimized by the mass media, and are popular. oh, plus the ones that the posers love. (which in a short list off my head may include the likes of callalily, 6CM, bamboo and the like. although i love bamboo.)

8. Household chores that you hate --> hmmm, nah i don't have a specific chore i loathe upon. maybe it would be feeding the birds of my mother. (why do i have the responsibility to do this? i wasn't the one who brought the f*%)ng bird.

9. Things you hate about the world--> capitalism. imperialism. neo-colonialism. end of story.

10. Things that you hate about yourself--> me being impulsive. yeah that would be it. i've gone and hurt a lot of people using that. then there's my lack of self-esteem.

"if were to be reborn again, i'd like to be one with a little more self-esteem, so i could tell the person i had loved everything.." - Anemone

next up: Vinch, Joanne and Kate!!

12 days before

it would be 12 days before my birthday.
tomorrow marks the 22nd month that i have a bestfriend
it has been three months since her birthday (and i hope she remembers mine)

suddenly i have had the urge to blog everyday. maybe it's what keeps me sane through the days.
speaking of days, here's my favorite part of the song Days:

The promise that we made on that day has broken and scattered
Pieces of passionate and short lived memories
Even if i wake up from the dream that we've both had
I won't forget these feelings, ever
The days of my memories shine down on this moment

haha very japanese indeed, but it still hits me really hard. since the song actually reminds me a lot of the thoughts i have when i think of her.

BTW, Days is the first opening song of Eureka Seven. (again, a must watch if you love anime)

So there, maybe i'll have another blog before the day ends. i am hoping that this day would be eventful. :)

Sunday, July 15, 2007

what? i can smile already? nice!

so today i have started to blog about my day, which was good.

wasn't able to use the pc due to other people who also have other needs to be meet by the trusty pc.

*oh don't worry my pc, i am going to get new a cool 80gb hard drive with a cool 1gb of ddr ram*

so as i am typing this, i have no music other than the screeching rat lurking behind me. i am annoyed by rats. death to all rats. they are dirty, little, promiscuous vermin ready to chew on anything. really, really troublesome bastards.

i am not in the mood of ranting right now. well, apparently there is nothing to rant on, and plus, i bought a lot of stuff today.

*nah, di ako maniniwalang yun lang ang pa-birthday sa akin*

maswerte pala talaga pag malapit na ang bday mo, tapos sale sa mall. dami ko tuloy nabili. wahahaha!!!

now i know the sense of shopping. pero yung shopping ko dapat talaga binibili. hahaha!!!

i actually bought a whole new outfit from top to bottom. which was nice.
really had a great day today. my cell was ringing always. had a lot of people to talk to. really, a reverse of what monday was like.

thank the Lord... salamat po!!!!

i'm not using the georgia font since it ruins my blog style. maybe i'm gonna revert it to arial after i publish this.

again, a boatload of thanks to moogie, bea, maple, mark, riki, karl, and even jerelle.
nice batch of people you know. really nice. :)

Saturday, July 14, 2007

it won't be soon before long

for a change i am using the georgia font of blogger.

in a conversation i had with my friends, i had learned that the georgia font is small, like, really small. so if you hate writing, well, don't even go near it. let's see how this test run works.

i've relegated myself to using the arial font, which is rather basic and then a little big than TNR. but that's alright.

i love my skin. haha dual mode skin for me. i can adjust it to a naruto style or a eureka seven style. nice.

again, if you love anime, watch eureka seven. you'd thank me later.

what went down today:
- spent a lot of time in the computer
- went to Greenbelt, got a taste of the Ice Brownie Fudge of Seattle's Best, and got converted to Seattle's Best. Yes, Seattle's Best. I boycott Starbs.
- got some cash from my ninang because my birthday is coming up
- thought of things to do on my birthday (article number one: watch the simpsons movie)
- hope that somehow i will enjoy my birthday
- hope that i have a lot of money
- tried to remember the tone of the "uwian na" theme song from my elementary days
- oh, time first and time out literally meant the same when i was young (ack! does that mean i am old?)
- second thing to do on my birthday: buy the new Yellowcard cd
- started to download the complete soundtrack of Eureka Seven which hypnotizes me until now
- hopefully cousin anna drops by our lolo's house so i can pick up my brand new nike shirt. (oh yes! after almost a year! i actually bought a new one! why are these expensive?! screw the capitalists!)
- realized that Shonen Heart (E7 2nd opening song) actually reminds me of swimming and beaches
- tried once again to patch things up with a certain someone
- not yet sleepy
- printed my classmate's paper
- wrote mine in less than an hour
- had a good talk with my bestfriend
- was happy that my bestfriend went home safe after what transpired
- noticed that i have had a blog for almost every day this week (this is what happens when i am sad)
- thinking of setting up a Playstation 2 fund (or even a PS3 fund for that matter)
- choices choices choices: Metal Gear Solid 4 or Valkyrie Profile 2?
- Bourne Ultimatum will be shown in August!!!!! oh the joy!!!!!
- noticed that my beloved phone's keypad is really, really scratched up (which up to now i do not have any idea why. i don't even have long fingernails)
- thinking of replacing said keypad
- and other things i have forgotten already (so much for memory enhancers)

my birthday would be exactly two weeks from now. 14 days. a lot could happen. yeah, i'd love that. i'm gonna try to make things happen. let's see.

tapos na ang birthday ng anak ko. haha..

i hafta sleep right now. ako maghahatid sa aking kapatid mamayang 6:30am. nice.

Friday, July 13, 2007

say goodbye and fall in love...

argh the anime series that has been my life support these past days had its encore run come to an end a few minutes ago.

poor me.

eureka seven was so good i had to watch it TWICE. damn...

a mesmerizing soundtrack, an unforgettable cast, a wacky story and lots and lots of action make up the series.

not bad really, when the series won various "Anime Show of the Year" and "Best Anime Series on DVD" for two years in a row.

yes, i will uphold it with dignity, Eureka Seven is the definitive Bones Animation masterpiece. they made the series from the ground up, starting from conceptualization, up to the manga series, then the tv series.

i never had this feeling of loss since Naruto went unto the dreaded "filler" year of theirs. it was a great loss really.

watching eureka seven was like watching a mash up of Romeo and Juliet and Transformers. With all the action going on, you'd still get the fantastic love story involved.

Yeah i say its fantastic because i could relate damn well to the show's main protagonist, Renton Thurston (although we are not of the same age).

Yup, i do have my own Eureka, and i wouldn't let her go bye-bye on me won't i? haha..

such a fantastic and engrossing series. haha and for 50 episodes, it doesn't eat up a lot of your time.

i do hope that the rumors are true about Bones Animation making the Eureka Seven movie for 2008. that would be bliss.

too bad for me, i don't have anything to watch anymore. nothing more to be thrilled with. nothing more to help me through the rainy days.

up next for me: maybe bleach (although i promised myself that i wouldn't watch it) or samurai champloo.

Full Metal Alchemist and Eureka Seven. Both from Bones Animation. Both are a must watch.