Flying Away..

Saturday, June 13, 2009

been a while

it has been a few weeks since i last posted anything on this blogsite. the last few days of mine have been dedicated to staying in front of the PC as long as possible. haha!

so most of the time i spend updating our tumblr blog, playing Assassin's Creed and following the NBA Finals.

so, recently i thought about having any worthy topic to post on this site, one which i can talk about in length, but apparently, i am too lazy to talk about anything in length. i don't know why i am so lazy about it, but i can't call it a writer's block because of the fact that i was just very lazy and all.

medical school starts for me in a few days. i wish to enjoy every second of it and be the greatest doctor i could ever be.

so, back to the supposed topic. it has been a long while since i posted on this blog. apparently, i am being engulfed by this wave or should i say, a new trend going on in the internet: micro-blogging.

so far, i have been a member of Twitter and Tumblr for quite some time, and i have to say, posting bits of my life as they happen by the spur of the moment has given me satisfaction. that, and because i was too lazy to write anything in length. though i am predisposed to having deep thoughts, i find it too taxing to try and extrapolate them into words which only a few people ever really see. not that i would abandon posting on this. but the fact is, time has been less for me to write prose contemplations on what i think and that of which happens in my life every so often.

i think that would be all for today. i'd still be posting. haha! look at me reassuring myself. :P

Thursday, May 28, 2009

N.N.N.N.....!

sex videos are the rage of news networks right now. by networks, i mean ABS-CBN and GMA. by news, i mean the shit they broadcast between 6 to 8 PM every weekday.

for a show aptly named 24 Oras, all they actually did today was stand by the Senate halls listening to the Senate's hearing on the maligned doctor's sex videos. TV Patrol was committing the same sin as well. about 70% of air time was devoted to Hayden Kho and his family. somebody needs to see the tv ratings they have produced right now and give them a reality show. something like, Keeeping Up with the Kho, or any other shitty title.

as it stands right now, Hayden Kho has flipped the switch from upstart, cosmopolitan, hunkish doctor into a deranged, drug abusing, psychologically impaired shell of a man in a span of one week. to me, this psychologically impaired part was manufactured by his lawyers.

maybe, the psychologically impaired part of Hayden was that he failed to get his hands on a HIGH-DEFINITION camera instead of a low-res one that shoots in MP4 and 3GP format! really now, this makes the video size really small, and makes it really, really tempting to be uploaded.

anyway, what i hate about this whole scenario is the fact that the storyline has changed directions too many times. it started with Katrina Halili going to the Senate to ask for help because her rights were violated due to the uploading of the explicit videos. that was then, today, everyone is training their eyes on Hayden Kho's apparent durg addiction, coupled with the fact that he still hasn't mentioned the supplier of his drugs (whom he allegedly says is a VERY, VERY big name). so today, the whole thing has evolved into a new monster altogether. and the networks are really happy because the story lives to see another day, with all the implications still intact and bursting at the seams.

the ABS-CBN comedy show Banana Split, spoofs the late night entertainment gossip show by Kris and Boy, entitled S.N.N. or Showbiz News Ngayon. they retitled it, N.N.N.N., which stood for eNtertainment News, Na Naman. which is probably what every sane person is thinking right now when they watch the news.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

things that i should be anxious about

so i finally enrolled myself (c/o Mom) to medical school. for the past few days my mind has been wandering around imagining things that are bound to happen once i start med school. but i wouldn't really bother entertaining such thoughts right now.

fortunately for me, i have around 1 1/2 weeks left in my vacation. that's before the real work starts. i'd want to enjoy this summer to the fullest, so that i can start fresh and amped up for school.

i'm really stoked about watching the new Eureka Seven movie. i really loved the anime series, and for them to come out with a movie after four years is great. never mind that some of the old animations would be used, i just loved everything the series had. the action, romance, the sounds of the series, everything was just gravy for me. so i really have to watch this one, because i know that it would not disappoint.

to somehow get over my Eureka Seven fix, i've watched dvds and downloaded pictures of Renton, Eureka and the gang. really, i love those guys.

so much is going to happen within the next months or so. a lot of it however, hangs on me. for the first time in my life, i study to help my parents. i can now feel the urgency of the situation. i do hope i can get a scholarship that would allow my sisters to get into top-notch schools in order for them to have the best education possible. my parents have done their part. now would be the best time to do mine.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

after almost a month

i feel kinda weird right now. all of a sudden, after saturating my eyes from watching tv shows all day in front of the pc which literally busted my butt to having to play SF with the homeboys til 3am, words started to fall in line here inside my mind..

for the past week since we've been eliminated from our little summer league, i found myself trying to enjoy what's left with my summer. so far, it has been great although i wasn't really given the freedom to go out whenever i liked because i did not have any money (literally pockets and piggy banks EMPTY).

fortunately, people around me have been finding ways to enjoy the summer heat (and rains!) without stretching the wallet much. many times i found myself either in debt or piggy-backing my friends who had the patience to lend me money. i swore that i'm going to get their money back (i WILL pay them off, EVENTUALLY. haha.)

but so far, summer has been good. a lot of good times, high times and first times. a lot of songs blaring through the speakers as i ran through the first summer after i graduated, telling stories of fun and adventure, of heartache and heartbreak, of the good times and the bad.

did i get better this summer? kind of. basketball wise, yeah there has been a little improvement. we finally got ourselves a team we can call our own. we call the shots, we play off each other's strengths, we make plays and we practice hard. i love it. hopefully next summer we can put ourselves back in a position where we can win, and we will do our best to achieve our goals.

as a person? again, somehow i've noticed an improvement. i did a lot of introspection when i was crawling past my last semester for my bachelor's degree, trying to analyze the positives that came with the negative experiences such as failed expectations, failed projects, exams, etc. but generally, it centralizes itself upon failure, and how i should handle it. this summer taught me a lot. although we lost, but we had fun. yeah it sucked, having to be at the tail-end of jokes from the people but that pretty much was it. no one really degraded us or anything, and we even got respect from others. overall, i learned that you should take failure with a smile, that i should give everything on the things or activities i involve myself on. i should work hard, but most of all, i should enjoy..

when i was finishing my degree, i didn't really enjoy some of the subjects i took, and not coincidentally i had subpar grades coming from these boring subjects. this reinforces my theory that whenever i enjoyed a subject, i usually got high grades from it..

now, the challenge from me is how to find fun and life within things or activities that strike me as boring. that would be... well, fun. i guess. haha.

this particular summer has been a ball. aside from the lack of money, i don't find anything to gripe about with this year's season of the sun. i hope you are enjoying your summer so far. make sure you get the most out of what is left of it.

something to think about as i put the finishes to this entry:
when you fail, do not forget what the experience taught you. sometimes the beauty is in the attempt, in the "try" section, in the journey. no one found beauty in giving up.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

rainy summer nights

nobody really goes to my blog nowadays. or maybe they do, i just don't know about it. haha! i really am too lazy to put a hit counter on my site, since from experiences in the past have taught me that counters have expiration dates. (eeks!)

anyway, twitter, basketball and just hanging out with friends occupy my summer right now, if it is indeed a summer since for the past few days torrential rains ran down our roofs. what's good about it is that we have extra time to rest our nagging injuries (my sprained foot is still a bit swollen). the bad news about it is that, i feel so antsy waiting for our next game. we lost our 2nd game in the summer league due to our carelessness. and the fact that we didn't make any adjustments as urgently as they were needed.

but i still hold our team with high regard. we just have to instill more discipline and lay down a more stable system. so far we're caught up between going with our natural plays and trying to execute structured offenses, so sometimes we seem really lost in our play.

i don't really feel like graduating this summer. as far as i know, i'm in vacation mode. haha! but i'm trying to help my girlfriend find a job so that she doesn't go to the provinces. good luck on that.

so far, summer rocks. haha! nothing much to worry about. i have the time for my friends and family. i just wish i had more time with my girl so that summer would be complete. :x

to all who will be graduating this summer, congratulations! you probably deserve it! :)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

thoughts

it's been a busy week for me and my girlfriend. clearance, fees and other activities typically signify one event which signifies the end of our undergraduate years: graduation.

but this isn't really about any sadness or happiness that graduation invokes within me. but rather, i'd like to take this opportunity to think about things a little bit.

if there is anything i learned about myself in my senior year of college education, its that i think too much..

ever since i became "responsible", i found myself fussing over things a little bit more than usual. giving them a tad more attention than needed. in the end, i tend to overthink and frustrate myself with so many ifs and buts.

not that i want to save everything until it blows up in my face, but as one old friend has said to me a long time ago, i tend to go back and play with the what if scenarios. that may be the worst trait i have attained this year.

of the many things that have happened to me, its failure that most compels me to think. of what happened, and what SHOULD have happened. then somehow i try to plan towards the best solution to the problem. then it fails. then i plan again.

it has become a very cyclical and deadly process for me. it puts unnecessary pressure on myself, and then expectations which are not realized also contribute to the damage caused by failure.

i'm afraid of failure. i really am.

never did i condition myself to fail, or put myself in a situation that losing was the only way out. people say that in order to succeed, one must accept failure.

i think i haven't really grasped that part.. yet. but i continue to work. the problem is, by working hard, things don't turn out the way i wanted them to be.

maybe that's just the start. i don't really plan on ditching the whole hard work and determination that i have demanded from myself this last year of my bachelor's degree. i've fallen down many times this year, but somehow i managed to put myself together again. maybe that's the key, that unwavering persistence and that stubborn belief that i can do it.

in a way i have cobbled together a post that deals with my ideas on my fear of defeat and shortcomings, though this really isn't all that's in my head right now..

i want to thank all those people who stood by me during the dark times: my mom, my girlfriend, my friends, the game of basketball which has remained as my relief from the stress of the real world, and that hope inside of me that never disappears.

i hope i get everything right someday. when i get to sort out and throw out all of these junk thoughts that litter my mind.

maybe my friend was right, what if never equates to WHAT IS. i should start appreciating what is, rather than what isn't.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

grrrr

the last time i posted an entry here, it was kinda rushed.
this post would also be one of those rushed posts, and motivated by a great anger towards people who have no consideration.

i have no beef against any professors, but i don't think that being an impediment to the life goals of a great student-leader is not really something that should be handed down to.

sayang naman, hindi makakasama ang chairman sa paglalakad namin. tsk. nakakainis.

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