Thursday, December 10, 2009
by rcboy
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my mind is on vacation right now. for whatever reason, when i come home somehow my brain loops the thought of vacation over and over and over again.
we only have one week to go, and that includes 3 exams which i have to be great on. kinda fucked biochemistry (the best subject to make you look stupid) and still have to make 2 handouts for both anatomy and physiology.
a lot of work, but with proper time management i would be able to do this. if there only was time left to waste. or maybe i could just wish for time to stop and enable me to dawdle around and refocus myself to the task at hand: do great in the upcoming exams.
but alas, we also have a packed Friday. we have two events to do (the college has been really gracious in giving us things to do aside from study) because of the alumni celebration, and now i heard our batch also has to sponsor one Simbang Gabi, but i do not look forward into involving myself with that.
this afternoon i will venture out into the streets of Manila and meet with my girlfriend. hopefully she can inject some really needed inspiration into myself. for now, i would have to bank on my will to overcome laziness and start studying.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
by rcboy
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played a round of hoop today. it's been two weeks since i last played in our court here in the subdivision where i live in. enjoyed the sweat, the trash talking and the company of old friends which have been there through the years.
i owe so much to the game. it has been in my blood for so long. well, maybe not much. i started playing when i was in 3rd grade. nothing serious, just like any kid i would venture outside the 3-point line and heave the ball with all my might hoping that it would hit the iron of the ring. (of course that was the wrong thing to do, because later on i worked more on my midrange and post up game. haha.) my cousins introduced me to the game. i only had lukewarm interest in it, and did not envy those other kids which showed prowess early on.
my love for the game started when i was in 2nd year high school. i had classmates who had a love affair with basketball. everyday we were together there would always be stories of players, teams and games. it was infectious. they played whenever they could get a chance. while i wasn't allowed to because back then i could not get my parent's permission to go to silang or dasmarinas to play ball. we had fun that year, eventually making it to 3rd place in the intramurals. i surely wished we should have won it back then, but no regrets. we had a good game. by the next year, many of them (my classmates) continued on to play for the school varsity.
i remembered getting a first taste of the action then. i was subbed in around midway of the 2nd quarter. the moment i held the ball i was whistled for a traveling violation. i walked. i didn't even remember how i did it, but that event engraved into my mind how far back i was in terms of skill level. and how allergic i've been to traveling calls (ever since i've never been whistled for it. as far as i know).
after 2nd year and every summer after, i started taking ball seriously. and my friends did too. we formed a team which also led to the forming of our group. we didn't really have a name yet, and i will always remember those years when we used to get up every morning at around 6am and play until 9am. and get beat up over and over again by the other teams we played with. it was always a challenge for us back then, up to now. we've basically played all of the people here in our place. and whenever our team was found around the court, they're the ones inviting us to play. this part of ball is what i love. respect between teams, as individuals, respect for the game. although sometimes there would be jerks who are just too flamboyant for their own good and for which i took personal satisfaction in beating their team up.
aside from seeing the team grow and mature through the years, i simply amaze myself by looking back and seeing how far my game has come. basketball has been the true example of hard work paying off for me. something that i would wish to emulate in my studies. the attitude to always learn and look for some things which would improve my game to the endless hours spent in front of the pc watching videos of players teaching their skills. i especially like to watch Kobe videos. he's the most complete player of his generation and has a ton of moves to teach. he also possesses the killer mentality that MJ had, and is really the best Jordan since Jordan.
i would really like to go on and on and on about my love for the game and my basketball story. but as of today, my love for the game has been the only thing that i would be able to talk about. maybe i'll save my story as a player and write it here next year. whenever the mood strikes me.
Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. this is the most important thing i think basketball taught me.
random:
* i have finished watching Entourage. season 7 begins next year and it has been kinda epic that there is nothing in my bittorrent client to be downloaded.
** i really have to upgrade to windows 7. i hope my classmate can give me a copy.
Monday, December 07, 2009
by rcboy
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i am not doing the urinary system notes that i should be doing tonight.
because of one reason: i am not in the mood.
though i may not look like it, i am a person governed by moods. when i am in the mood to work, i am instantly motivated and turn out my best work. when i am not in the mood, well, forced shit happens. not that the quality of work looks really bad, but rather a veil of dissatisfaction covers my work done while not in the mood.
ever since grade school, i already have pointed out the importance of being in the mood, the right state of mind to do things. i think i answered the question "what motivates you the most to do your work" with the phrase " i have to get into the mood."
it's like having sex. you don't really want to be banging all the time because you are just too aware that the human body has its own internal limits. and making love while not enjoying it, ergo being "not in the mood" may suck in its entirety. tv teaches a lot of things of this nature right?
so, what does get me amped up to go to work? that i really do not know. sometimes i operate on a whim, sometimes i sleep and wake up feeling really powerful and trying to do everything in a flash. but i know it won't happen, not when the mood starts to flag down a little. you see, getting into the mood and staying in the mood are two different animals to contend with. that is why having this style of working by the mood cycle can sometimes be both a blessing and a curse. you may turn out the best work when you are in the zone, but what if the situation demands something now and by all chances you're not in the mood? in my case i get stumped. which is not the best situation to be in.
my girlfriend preaches the "motivation gets you started, discipline takes you there" mantra, and there have been times that i've bought into it. i try to stoke myself up and fight the laziness which was inhibiting the working mood from manifesting itself. there are times where it works and times where it doesn't. and then there are occurrences where i am totally focused or totally lazy. such is a guy being governed by his moods.
damn, i sound like a girl.
by rcboy
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what's up everyone? i only had morning classes today, and still i was an hour late. i overslept (damn i was dog tired) but i'm still thankful since that extra amount of sleep had me recharged and ready for the day's work.
let's talk about politics.
haven't watched the news lately, but i have been doing my reading in the internet. the massacre in Maguindanao has boiled over. rebellion raps left and right. now declaration of martial law in the area. really juicy stuff for experts and pundits to munch upon, but as it stands, almost every institution related to the government is in shambles right now. there are just too many problems to deal with.
we have automations which are just ready to fail in May next year. i really don't buy into the apparent "preparedness" of the Comelec, since it was the automated elections in Mindanao that brought the Ampatuans into power. maybe i'm wrong, and i would be relieved as hell if i ever was wrong, but the scene follows the same script.
we also have a shameless president who's just had too much fun riding the highest position in the land. now aspiring for a congressional seat after her term, all signs point to another power play set to target a Constitutional Assembly in a matter of years.
we are going to have the most difficult elections next year. maybe Randy David was right. we SHOULD wage war against every man and woman allied to the scum president that we have, and let us make our votes count. let us not make the administration cronies woo us again with any shit that comes out of their holes. we have grown to be smarter and more critical of what is happening. let us put this education we have and manifest it into a vote. shame on the people who do not wish to vote. they too should be held accountable for their inactivity and the apathy they display to society.
i have a college friend who is taking up masteral studies in political science. he loves politics. he bleeds politics, loves the healthy discussion and debate, the speculation and the wanton acts our esteemed leaders every so often commit. i would always remember him because he would be having so much fun right now dissecting what the hell is happening in the country.
am i a political person? well fuck yes. i am involved and aware of what is happening, and i am fully knowledgeable of the power my vote can bring. i know my opinion matters.
on a related note, i still do not have anyone to put in my ballot next year. i also disapprove of the "approval" of the premature campaigning in this year's elections.
by rcboy
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i'm still trying out the new blogger XML. the customization has been better now since a lot of the html stuff has been reduced and all you needed to do is just point and click.
i've noticed that i have written entries which have revolved around my on and off relationship with writing. now that i've mentioned it, i think that a need to explain myself is due.
i've been writing since gradeschool. i gladly remember winning a contest in elementary which got me a Wizard of Oz book to read. i also remembered having to rewrite my winning essay because the faculty lost my submission. i think i didn't really enter that contest because i liked it but it was more of a requirement that we had to write about something and it was being judged by the teachers. i couldn't recall what was the topic back then, and the sweetness of that victory wasn't really savored since all i knew back then was just to play, play and play.
i remember the first time i fell in love. the words which couldn't escape my mouth flowed throughout the time i was holding a pen. she said i wrote the sweetest letters. i remember the heartbreaks that i went through everyday when rejection came. i remember being the best writer that i am when i was sad. yeah, maybe that was the catch. that was one really compelling reason not to write about anything, since i wasn't really that sad at all..
but then, i remembered how good i was when i'm madly in love, like i am today.
i really needed to polish my words because this holiday season i plan on writing a letter that would knock the socks off the heels of the woman i have loved for so long.
so this has been a tale of extremes. of one end being the heartbroken, melancholic and stressed out person or of one being the jubilant, loved and cheerful opposite.
writing has been a very powerful tool of expressing how i feel. people around me do not see the raw emotion unless they have seen my writings. that just about works for me anyway, and i'll be putting the finishing marks on my nth "i'm back" entry tonight.
because on this day, i'm gonna be back to writing. hopefully for good.
Sunday, December 06, 2009
by rcboy
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i was supposed to do this blogger facelift on the 18th. unfortunately i had too much time on my hands on a Sunday evening while trying to figure out how to study for my upcoming exams and downloading tv shows on the internet. (what a pirate i must be)
i really have a lot of ideas to write about. i've been thinking about them for the past 2 weeks. since mentally i've been preparing myself to make a serious run at blogging. since medical school has only compelled me to read, read and read, i opted to make use of this blogger account to write, write and write. i've noticed my deficiency in writing during the past few months and thus i had made up my mind to make use of this personal space of mine to make up for the absence of writing in my personal life right now.
so, what have i been up to lately? still studying. passing the exams. somehow i have adjusted to the grind of medical school. slowly i've been developing a system for learning, but it isn't that complete yet. in case you're wondering, i have been enjoying myself in school. i'm getting to know the other people of the batch i belong to, and so far the experience has been pretty damn fun.
particularly enjoyable was the whole JFT experience. a really great event to participate in. almost everybody in the batch did something for the success of our presentations, though there were still some knuckleheads who really didn't want any part of it. well, i rest on the fact that the experience we had was a complete WIN. it was their loss that they did not participate.
i enjoyed managing and coordinating the batch production. i'm really a behind the scenes guy and i do my best behind the curtain. one thing that really amuses me is the reputation i have been slowly building within my peers as a flexible and capable person. as i was telling my girlfriend over at dinner yesterday, i really wanted to be someone who can be depended on and i think my efforts have not gone unnoticed. it's enough to say that i'm pretty amped already for next year now that ideas have started to pour in. hopefully everyone on board today will still be on board next year.
so that would be all for tonight.
finally, blogging again. it is nice to be back.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
by rcboy
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in around 2 weeks, my first semester of medical school would be over. overall, i think academically and personally i sucked.
i really don't think people or our profs should be calling us doctors already. i can't really feel that i am making progress, though there are times when i correctly diagnose someone or i somehow find the ability to muster some "medical advice" to my friends. the term "doctor" should be reserved to those who would make it. personally i think it's too early to call us anything else except students.
today every subject we had gave their own version of quizzes. so in all i had 4 quizzes. and then another possible 2 (there would be 1 for sure) will be done tomorrow. this is on top of upcoming evaluations and final exams for our semestral subjects. the next two weeks we'l be having would be shit. but then again, that's life. not that we're gonna get fucked or anything, but we can do something about it.
in spite of this, we still look forward to the good days ahead. there would be times where life seems a whole lot of bull, but it just serves as a counter-balance so that we may be able to appreciate more the good times and the blessings we may receive each day.
for the next few weeks i hope to save money to buy stuff and get new shoes. plus i hope that we get the faster broadband. when sembreak comes, i'm going to ball out like crazy. till then, its back to work. peace out.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
by rcboy
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i REALLY had to write this down. was supposed to tweet some of these thoughts but if some asshole finds out i'm gonna be in big trouble.
- intrabatch/interbatch LOVE. yes naman. nakakatuwa talaga ang mga babae. lalo na sa group namin. haha! i really did not want to share any stories as told by them. suffice to say it gave me some more insights into who they really are, since as of now the people who study medicine are settling down and are going back to their undergrad habits. ditto to myself.
- tsismis. gossip. or things-you-are-not-supposed-to-know-but-you-knew-since-you-were-there or shit-i-did-not-know-that kind of stuff. trying to memorize certain stories that people may consider "juicy" is like studying anatomy. there is so much to know! haha!
- Maxene Magalona's nose. my girlfriend told me this afternoon that since her first afternoon drama show, Francis Magalona's daughter has had a rather pointy nose. Two things i would like to point out: first, if you were to play a role of ANY woman who is actually not rich, why go for the nose job? do i really need to see a chambermaid whose nose can actually puncture the wall of my house? second, THOSE GODDAMNED NOSTRILS! if you look at her nose closely, one nostril is bigger than the other. what the f***.
- Bayani Fernando. to aspire endorsement of the Administration Party as candidate to the highest post of the land, BF has displayed behavior of a toddler which ticks off a lot of people and what's more to that were his answers during the aforementioned Party's executive meeting which tiptoed the line between moronic and hilarious (i.e. to get more jobs the rich have to get richer so more wages can be issued). Good thing the Administration Party wasn't high on marijuana nor drunk as hell to choose him as the standard bearer.
- Gibo, Noynoy and Manny V. still haven't found any reason to vote for any of them. Noynoy has a pathetic legislative record, Manny V.'s commercials only need the words "for President" to be qualified as campaign material and Gibo hasn't shown anything except fluency in Ilocano. (haha)
all this shit came from watching TV on the bus in the afternoon and from watching the evening news. now back to regular programming.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
by rcboy
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another exam is coming. somehow i've been able to study and by hanging out with the smart dudes and dudettes in our batch i've kinda picked up some things which would enable me to better master the art of taking stressful exams.
i have somehow pinpointed my weakness, and that is my inability to be relaxed during exams or quizzes. somehow i need to learn how to be relaxed and composed. i'm already excited to take the next exams because it's another chance to prove myself. i think having that meeting with the guidance counselor helped me a lot.
i was watching Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction and one thing about him struck me. he was very uncompromising and was finding ways to motivate himself all the time. somehow i lack the high levels of discipline and motivation that are needed to perform on a higher level. i must be able to obtain such so as to continue my journey into having the best medical career i can achieve.
options for my specialization are increasing. after studying the chest area, i've picked up interest in the field of head and neck surgery. even otorhinolaryngology. i'm keeping my mind open.
wish me luck!!! ^_^
