Monday, October 30, 2006

Stars

Now Playing: Stars - Callalily

I haven't seen stars for a while... Its because of the typhoon inside the country right now. My friend just told me that it will leave the Phils. in about 11pm so I rejoiced a little.

It has been a week since I last posted. Some people go to my blog and don't leave a comment or even just a msg. Please please please leave something here to let me know you're still alive...

What happened to me during the past days? Nothing much. Didn't play a lot of ball, which was a total bummer because of the bad weather. Had a sloppy lifestyle. Read Agatha Christie, watched Full Metal Alchemist (which is damn good by the way) and slept the days away. Have been eatin a lot of chips especially peewee which I remember was a favorite of mine in my gradeschool days.

Stars. Somehow I get a lot of serenity watching stars in a cloudless night. Observing them and letting the cold night breeze transverse my face actually washes my problems away. Maybe that's what I've been missing right now. Serenity, and inner peace of mind.

I had a very troubling senior high school year. Most people don't notice it, maybe except for those who were always around me. I was always this troubled person who didn't think straight. A lot of things happened, or were actually lost. It caused so much trouble in me. I think I even pushed people away. Somehow I dealt with it alone, but alas, its hard doing things alone for most of the time. That's when the stars came in. Well, I spent a night on our rooftop just looking at the sky and, well it gave me something I didn't have for a while, peace. I'm actually missing that right now.

Can I say I'm in some kind of crossroad in my life?
I don't know. Didn't actually believe in choices. I'm more of an impulse kind of person. I live and die on the consequences of my actions. But oddly, I have my own share of regrets. Any person who didn't have a single regret in his or her life isn't probably alive. I don't believe in the "no regrets" curtain people shadow you with. Its too optimistic and, well, kind of gives a justification for the errors a human makes.

Anyway, I miss looking at the stars. I miss the night breeze that allows me to think with solidarity inside me.




I just want things to be normal again... Is that too much to ask?

Monday, October 23, 2006

sembreak!

naalala kita pag umuulan (SEMBREAK)
naalala kita pag giniginaw (SEMBREAK)
naalala kita pag kakain na (SEMBREAK)
naalala kita ilang bukas pa
bago tayo ay magkita
ako'y naiinip na bawa't oras binibilang
sabik na masilayan ka-ha-hah
- Eraserheads - Sembreak

Ano bang dapat gawin kapag napakarami mong gustong sabihin sa isang tao pero di mo alam kung saan magsisimula? Ako, di ako alam kung ano gagawin ko.. Kasi ang hirap namang i arrange ng sasabihin mo kasi rambol rambol silang lahat.. siguro kailangan ko na talagang kumuha ng comm III. Makakatulong yun sa akin lalo na pag me problema na kailangan ng mahabang paliwanagan...

Boring na naman ang sembreak... tulog, laro, kain, laro, ayos, kain, ayos, tulog... hahaha wala nang nagbago.. hirap talaga pag walang pera.... sana mag miyerkules na. Para makapunta na ako sa beshie ko at tatambay kami ng buong araw.. May kasama na ako, masaya pa ako... Magandang gawain talaga ang tumambay sa ibang lugar basta may kasama ka.. hehehe!

ewan.. nawawalan na ako ng mga gustong sabihin... nawawalan na ako ng gagawin.. unti-unti nang nawawala ang kakayahan ko upang makapagbunsod ng pagbabago sa buhay ko... naging isang napakalaking ewan na lang ng buhay ko...

ano na bang ginagawa ko ngayon? eto naghihintay na may mangyaring maganda sa buhay ko.. (bukod sa basketbol na gumanda yung jumpshot ko.. pero di pa rin ako makatira ng off the dribble)

waaaaaaah binuburat na ako ng sembreak!!!! bigyan nyo nga ako ng pera!! gusto kong umalis ng bahay kahit sandali lang!!!!!!!

*sigh*


- anlabo ng entry na to... God give me something good.. Plllllleeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase....

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

stunned...

stunned daw si jana! naks naman!!!
dumbfounded...
oh my God!!!

my shortest blog entry...

well at least someone knew about my dirty little secret.. ;)

Saturday, October 14, 2006

recap!

Trebuchet ba talaga tong font na to? just wondering... haha!!
well, after a very grueling sem, SEM BREAK NAAAAAAAA!!!!

erm, technically, sembreak na ako.. pero... hmmm.. still have 1 (or 2) final exams and a documentation to make... hopefully they breeze by fast... i don't want to prolong my suffering anymore! damnit!

well, I'd like to call this entry a recap since it will chronicle a lot of what transpired during the 1st semester of my sophomore college year. but hey, its really just a collection of random thoughts and mumblings not arranged in any order whatsoever.. haha!!!

so.. here it goes:
- note to self: DO NOT EVER, EVER FORGET/LOSE YOUR MEDICAL CERTIFICATE... OR MISPLACE ANY PAPERS OF ENROLMENT FOR THAT MATTER....
- enrollment in my dear school usually takes a week for 2nd year studes.. even more for some..
- sabi ng mga dean-wannabes (candidates for dean) namin, dati raw 15 minutes lang ang BUONG ENROLLMENT DATI.. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH! ULUL!!!!
- nagkabitak na yung block namin.. yung iba pariwara na sa pagiging tibak.. (ehem, mara? ehem..)
- nabawasan ang RTR (room-to-room) ng mga orgs namin
- ang dami daming concerts, kaso yung iba nacancel... kasi masama yung panahon
- eto ang sem na pinakamadalas akong nagkasakit.. wow
- dumami ang typologies ng mga prof sa amin (human sleeping pill, the absentee, the random, the sadist, the weirdo and many more!)
- dumami yung mga taong nakilala ko sa UP.. either thru friends, orgs ng tropa, panchichicks, gitara, etc...
- di ako kumain ng mixed rice buong sem....
- gumaling ako ng onti sa basketbol.. onti lang... dami pang kailangang ayusin....
- nabawasan ng malaking porsyento ang aking "paglalaboy"
- kumonti yung mga symposia na napuntahan ko
- nawili ako sa paggamit ng composition notebook (yung may artista na cover) kaya for my whole college life, gagamit na lang ako ng composition o kaya writing notebook!
- paborito ko nang bolpen ang Titus.. tsaka Pilot.. wag lang ibabagsak
- unti-unting nawawala ang hilig ko sa sumbrero....
- eto ang pinakamaraming araw na nagcutting classes ako (1 month mahigit!)
- ang dami nga palang nagsidebut sa mga kaklase ko dati... pero parang walang nagbabago sa kanila...
- naranasan ko ang maging "bitter" ng halos buong sem (medyo.. di naman halata.. haha!)
- nagsisimula na akong mangulekta ng mga quotable quotes sa kung saan-saan
- nangitim ako ng husto dahil sa swimming! weeee!
- muntik na akong kunin sa frat, buti di ako kinulit
- ngayong sem ang pinakamaraming beses na napikturan ko ang sarili ko.. pero hindi ibig sabihin nitong banidoso na ako. no way...
- pinakawalang kwenta ang 18th bday ko.. buset
- naging isa akong walang kwenta, irresponsable at gagong bestfriend
- nawalan ako ng tiwala sa aking sarili
- nagsasawa na ulit akong maging malungkot
- nagsasawa na ako sa buhay na single
- nagsasawa na akong iniiwan nya palagi...
- hindi na ako nakapunta ng QC masyado
- hindi ko na nakakasabay palagi ang beshie ko :(
- mahirap palang ayusin ang schedule ng klase, lalo na pag underloaded ka! kasi late reg ang abot mo!!! waa!
- gagu mga prof gumawa ng final exams..... Lalo na pag taga DSS!
- ngayong sem ang pinakamarami akong pera.. ngunit may mga pagkakataong muntik na akong di makauwi dahil sa kawalan ng pamasahe
- ngayong sem ko namaster ang maggitara.. ay hinde summer ko pala nagawa yun.. erase
- ngayong sem hindi naging masyadong babaero si Imman (kasi umuwi yung gf nya galing Canada)
- ngayong sem hindi pumapasok sa klase si Mark.. RAN mode!
- ngayong sem lagi na lang akong bangag o wala sa sarili
- ngayong sem tumama ang pinakamalakas na bagyo sa loob ng 6 na taon
- namayat ako ngayong sem.. hindi ko magets kung paano nangyari yun...
- ngayong sem magkaaway na naman kami.. or di nya ako pinapansin.. parang 4th year
- actually, parang 4th year din pala tong sem na to...
- nakapagbasa ako ng 6 na libro (na hindi academically required) ngayong sem na to
- naisip kong si Carl Gustav Jung ang paborito kong pilosopo, si Robert Ludlum at Tom Clancy ang paborito kong manunulat, si Masashi Kishimoto ang paborito kong tagagawa ng manga, si Hideo Kojima at Tetsuya Nomura ang pinakamalupet gumawa ng laro
- sa sem na to nawili ako sa pagbili ng DVD at pagpunta sa Divisoria
- sa sem na to wala akong nilaro kundi Tropico at NBA Live 06
- nagtataka ako kung bakit maraming tao ang pumapasok sa exit ng mga mall... hindi ko alam kung may katok sila o tamad magbasa
- ngayong sem na to nagpapakita na sya sa mga panaginip ko...
- naging isang emotional rollercoaster ang sem na to.. complete with peaks and waves and loop the loops.....
- ngayong sem nakanood ako ng 2 ballets, mga 5 or 8 movies at isang rockestra kasama ang aking beshie.. (hallo! miss na kita! :D)
- ngayong sem nagtayo ako ng blog.. habang "siya" naman nagkaroon ng multiply at isang bagong friendster account, may myspace pa!! walanju! meron pa yata syang account sa isang dating website... YATA lang ah... hula lang..
- ngayong sem naisipan kong gumamit ng colgate whitening toothpaste. effective sya. promise.
- pinakamaraming beses akong kumain sa kfc at sa greenwich
- pinakamaraming beses akong bumili ng pasalubong
-

ayan. yun lang mga naaalala ko e. hahaha!!!!

ge, tama na muna yung sobrang seryoso. sabi nga ng valedictorian namin e, RELAK LANG. hahaha!!!

well, actually di ko kayang magRELAK... pasensya na tsongs...




Saturday, October 07, 2006

Hale

Ok tong araw na to. Mani ang geo exam. hahahahaha!!!!
Salamat naman at nag day-off ang pagkasadista ng prof namin. Whew!!!!!

So, ok talaga ang araw na to. Nanood ako ng taekwondo finals ng mga tao sa UP. Syempre andun yung mga kaibigan ko kaya nood ako. Tangna magagaling talaga sila. Para silang papatay ng tao. Hahaha!!!!

maganda ang taekwondo kapag magaling yung naglalaro. Iba talaga ang kaibahan ng mga taong batak na sa martial arts sa mga taong nagPE lang. hahaha!!!! Perfect timing and execution. Pang highlight film talaga!!! :D

Tapos foodtrip pa kami ng bespren ko sa palengke!! PISHBOL PARE! PISHBOL!!!! MAY SIOMAI PA!!!

Bago tayo dumako sa main topic of review, ang bandang Hale, nais ko lang maglinaw ng mga ilang bagay....

Una, hindi ako kabilang sa 80% ng mga fans ng Hale, na naging fans sa kadahilanang:
- gwapo si Champ
- papabol si Champ
- pogi si Champ
- nahawa sa mga kaibigang naniniwalang gwapo nga si Champ

Pangalawa, pag-uusapan natin ang Hale at ilalagay sa konteksto na malayong-malayo sa bandang Cueshe, ang pinakabaduy na bandang galing Visayas. (dubista pa rin ako!!!)

Pangatlo, isasantabi natin ang tatak na "pogi rock", at ilalagay ang musika ng bandang Hale sa ilalim ng "alternative rock" upang mas mabigyan ng linaw at appreciation ang musikang hatid nila.

Pang-apat, nagsimula mula sa ilalim ng lupa (underground) ang bandang ito. Hindi sila binuo ng mga kupal na nagpapatakbo ng mga kumpanyang Kapuso at Kapamilya. Hindi rin sila produkto ng Pinoy Pop Superstar, o kahit ano mang pakontest ng mga magagaling kumanta.

Bakit nga ba Hale? Well, may bago silang album (na nagngangalang Twilight). At may balak akong bumili nun. Bakit? Eto ang mga dahilan ko.

Well, the first reason, and the most probably the best one, is the mere fact that Hale's brand of rock pulls off the most tearjerking heartstrings inside of us. Anyone sane enough to listen carefully to their first album will hear the vast array of sad emotions they tried to convey. To me, Champ Lui Pio and his gang provided some people the perfect outlet to let out their worst feelings. Guilt, dissappointment, denial, you name it. Sadness for them is not a solitary emotion, but rather a more complex concept, a lot like love. Actually, they're the counterparts of each other. They compliment each other rather well. Hale's music bridges the gap of these two emotions, providing anyone who listens with a surreal listening experience which not only entertains, but gives us a unique take into the understanding of sadness, how it feels to be engulfed by it, and how to survive and cope with the rest of the world. Truly, the Philippine music scene is blessed as it is gifted with these artists hell bent in squeezing out the crybaby in us.

Melancholic. You can't find a better term to describe their music.

My second reason, well, Hale's music encompasses people of all kinds. Their topic may consist of one single feeling, but it is broad and comprehensive enough to be understood and appreciated by all people. It isn't music for the masses ala Eraserheads, but for all those people who've had their brush with the sad reality, Hale's music becomes a savior of sorts as it draws lessons out of its beautifully written songs. Any person who's been sad lately should get a copy of their first album. Its got the most bitter songs and songs of loneliness, along with songs dealing with loss and denial. You really can't get any more of this kind of music elsewhere, its just stuck with Hale. Its their forte. And I won't expect anything less from their 2nd album.

Hale's a little bit unproven, although triple platinum status of their debut album and a little listen of their songs should be reason enough to give them a chance to enter your favorite playlist.

Expectations run high as they come out with the follow-up to their phenomenal first album. Hopefully they'll deliver the goods and keep the fans glued onto them. As for me, I still don't consider myself a Haler, because its attached to their legions of fans who adore the vocalist and not the sad songs sung in the most honest and heartfelt sense. Hale wanted their fans to appreciate the music, not Champ's face value.

That's pretty much enough justification for now. I'm itching to get my hands on their Twilight album. I'm already readying myself for the headtrip and the emotional joyride they'll provide. As for you out there, get the album. I recommend the guys who made it.


"One of the best things about sadness, is the fact that somehow, at some point in time, the questions you were asking for such a long time will be answered .."
- anonymous

Monday, October 02, 2006

Bakit Ang Babae.....

Now Playing: Sandwich - Bakit ang Babae
Disclaimer: parang kay imman to a, pero all of the material seen in this site is the sole property of the author... The thought provoking statements uttered in here represent only the views of the author on the opposite sex, on why sometimes she is hard to understand, along with the quirks and perks she does in her everyday existence. The author apologizes for the bias that may be made since he is part of the male gender.. Criticisms are accepted. Just don't pepper me with your threats ok? Thank you.

Had a tough day..

Got massacred in our geology report... Sana man lang ipasa kami ni sir... Justice was given on our report.. We didn't prepare well enough, and well, we got executed....

I had to blog right now because I would be busy the last couple of days... And I may not be able to check back often....

So, bakit nga ba ang babae mahirap maintindihan????
A close friend of mine, a girl, had always said to me that a woman's instinct consists largely of defense and fear.... Ewan ko kung san nya napulot yun pero medyo totoo naman yung sinasabi nya e,,,

Actually, the fear and the defensive mentality of a woman can probably be rolled into one, since the defenses (most notably the emotional barriers set up) are a by-product or a manifestation of the fear residing in everyone, not just the girls. Come on, who wants to get hurt bad? Who in his or her sane mind would like to be in excruciating pain?

Sabi nila maraming kinatatakutan ang mga babae. And sometimes this fear of theirs impairs their judgement and all. I've met a lot of girls who tend to exert a strong presence to people around them, but sometimes even they too break down, make mistakes and be soft due to a certain set of circumstances. After all, we do have a certain breaking point. Humans aren't exactly elastic you know.. But they can be tolerant and resilient.

It happens everytime, when you reach a point that you thought you knew a girl, then suddenly you didn't know her anymore. She becomes just a name. And you become the wind passing her by, ever anonymous, but not unnoticed. Do girls really go haywire after they emotionally break? Its really strange that they could easily erase any memory they have of you. Or maybe they are just too afraid to remember, since things can slippery slope very easily.

Water, rushing by, can easily carve unto the earth. Such is also the case with a stream of emotions. They are what comprise a girl's "moments" in her life. May it be spending time with her family who she missed dearly, going to the church after a long sabbatical, even convincing herself that she had found true love. These events define the person, but as easy as it is, they also have the capacity to destroy, with ease, everything they have erected.

In my life, I've had 2 bestfriends, both of them girls. One was back in high school, the other one was in college. They did have a lot of similarities. They loved literature a lot, and they were good at it. They loved gossip. They kept their friends close to their hearts. They were religious (ehem, si chowee po ay religious.. Tignan nyo na lang yung first communion pic nya. :D ) and one more thing, they were emotionally and mentally strong, the type of people you'd come running to when you've had enough of life.

Eeriely, they both have the same emotional set-up. The big, fat, thick as concrete emotional walls surround them. They were both very protective of their emotions and it showed. They loved with all their heart, and were smart enough not to give it all unto one person.

They were also swift and unforgiving when it comes to heartbreak... Both are also incapable of moving on easily. Well, siguro lahat naman tayo mahihirapan, kasi lahat naman ng sugat nag-iiwan ng pilat di ba?

For me, getting to know these two women in my life (well, 18 na po sila) was like an engineering development project. A lot of planning and time was consumed. Perfect execution was required. And well, after getting a peep of what was behind their walls, it made me realize that I did pick the right people...

Ever heard of tensile strength? Its a term in structural engineering that defines specific points of stress in a structure which, when applied with correct pressure literally displaces the center of gravity eventually leading to structural collapse. Since we are dealing with walls, well its a great analogy for the "getting-to-know" process of two people.

As you stick to a person, over time, you get to know his/her tendencies, her insecurities, anything that you might want to know. Then it gets to the point that, you wanted to know more, sometimes you eventually become the best friend. Then she becomes more open. But she won't let her guard down. It's up to the other person, whether or not he decides to break through her walls and see the "real" her, or whatever it is she keeps to herself. Girls build up these big, sturdy walls because inside of these edifices lie the true person.

Its when the girl bares it all that she becomes most vulnerable. But its weird, coz as mentioned earlier, sometimes girls have the tendency to be misunderstood by the people around them. They panic and push the erase button to rid of themselves of the person they called their best friend and resume their lives as if nothing happened.

A piece of advice to all of us, may you be an XX (girl) or an XY (boy).
Moving on is about accepting what is served in front of us.
It is not about leaving everything behind as if nothing ever really happened.

Some piece of advice. Pero sa totoo lang di ko rin sinusunod yan eh. Hahaha!!!

Di ko talaga alam kung bakit ang mga babae minsan mahirap intindihin, kahit na gusto mo syang intindihin wala ring mangyayari. Weirdo talaga. Pero siguro ganun talaga. Kailangan din kasi nating maisip na kung lahat na lang ng bagay naiintindihan natin, di na natin alam kung saan ilalagay ang tama at ang mali, kasi magkakaroon na tayo ng mga dahilan para masabing nararapat yung gagawin natin.

So, ang babae, mahirap maintindihan... Pero kung iisiping mabuti, mga tsong, bakit ba natin sila mahal? E kasi gusto natin silang intindihin kahit hindi na natin alam yung ginagawa nila.

Wow.

congrats nga pala sa uste at nanalo sila.
bili kayo ng Transit ng Sponge Cola. A deeper, more meaningful and mature Sponge Cola sound awaits...
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