Wednesday, October 31, 2007

memory plus

because of a lack or should i say, drought of inspiration to post, i haven't been able to write a lot in my blog for a while. i guess i'm not the type of person who's passionate about writing so that means either i blabber a lot or i write a load of non-sense in my posts. or maybe i'm just too lazy to write about anything. my middle finger hurts (it's sore) which means typing nowadays would become a tad too tedious to engage in. so anyway, after this useless banter i should get on talking about what i'm supposed to discuss about: memories.

after some blog hopping, and after watching episode 1 of eureka seven for the nth time (must watch anime, really!) i stumbled upon a concept which is a worthwhile topic of conversation, the thing we call memories.

because time does not stop for us, and because you can't step on the same river twice, we have memories. these fragments of thought which are used to store specific events which happen to us in our everyday lives. they range from small ones to big, cinematic ones. even those idle moments some of us take for granted can be considered great memories for some.

all the memories we have are stored in the brain. nothing is spared. i suppose it only boils down to the preferences of the individual whether he decides to repeatedly remember a specific moment of his or her life, or none at all. i don't think this is about the brain's power to recall data, but rather it is the willingness of the person to remember which powers the resurfacing of his/her memories.

we all have our favorite memories. we also tend to attach them to people, especially those who are dear to us. for me it is an imperative that each and every person we meet has a memory associated to them if ever we want to recall them. our memories of them serve as our tags to organize them inside our head.

i have a quote about memory.. goes something like:
"the thing about movies and music is that they aren't about the stories they tell, but rather the memories they create. they remind you most of all the past relationships and realizations you have made in your life."

i have a little theory about hit songs and movies. i think those which remind us most of ourselves, of what we have experienced in our lives, of the people we have met, are the ones which we love the most. that the most beloved movies and music are those which share the common sentiments of the people. i suppose that's why the topic of love is thrown around a lot, because people are drawn to it, because they can relate. because they see themselves in that man standing outside the window, drenched in the pouring rain and waiting for his love to come out. somehow a lot of us have these kinds of memories. or maybe not, but they easily associate themselves to these characters.

i think everyone is yearning to find someone who shares the same set of memories about a certain situation as they do. that's why it is best to ask help from someone who has been through what you are going through, although it is hard to find someone who had the exact same experience as you did, a few parallels should readily bridge the gap between two people.

memento. it is an object which represents a memory. it was there when that moment happened, and as such, it becomes a silent witness to what transpired that day. i think everyone possesses a memento of his or her favorite memory. it helps in the recall process. and well, it serves as a reminder that, in some point in your life, you experienced this and this object becomes evidence that, indeed, such a moment happened in your life.

memories, no matter how fleeting, how painful or how long, are always cherished by those who share them with other people. for many individuals, sharing memories with other people is an affirmation of their lives and existence. it is the
keystone which unlocks a trove of emotions, both good and bad.

remember when they say, "you don't know what you got till it's gone"? it's the memories which remind you of the real value of what you just lost. memory is an intangible carrier which is controlled by the surrounding environment. it is the clay which is molded by the surroundings and hardened by time. for us, it is the clear testament of the moments that we have had, both good and bad.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

one year

i haven't really noticed it, but to my disbelief my blog is already a year old. poor me i didn't notice it earlier, but its better late than never. so...


i remember trying to think of a domain name for my blog. medyo nahirapan din ako noon, kasi ayoko gamitin yung pangalan ko, at the same time ginusto ko ng unique na phrase or something.

then after playing through the whole 4 campaigns of Warcraft 3: Reign of Chaos for the nth time, i hit upon the word "ethereal".

in my own lexicon ethereal means false or illusionary. cool. then i stacked in the word reality, and there you have it. literally my blog name means "false reality", a very common philosophical paradox often found in the works of Focault, Eco and Kant.

but that doesn't mean that everything in this blog is false. nothing is. this is me, this is what i do and what i sometimes think.

writing for me has become an outlet and a refuge, much like the game of basketball. it can be emotionally charged most of the time, and there are those rare times where intellectualism kicks in and then there would be too few people who know what i talk about. its fun really, especially when people come in and read then leave comments (paparinig sa mga di nagcocomment! haha) and when people appreciate or somehow relate to what i write. it is a good feeling, and so i continue to write when i have both the time and the material to go with it.

so to all of those who regularly drop by, please leave a comment. it is very much appreciated. and don't worry, i'm not going to diss you all. maybe just one at a time. :D

Sunday, October 21, 2007

the beginning of something beautiful

i can't really put a finger on it in my head, but i think there exists a song with the same title as this one.
well, i'd have to admit this one came pretty late. a bit of time has flown since i have rebooted my life and everything is in tippety-top shape so far.

called me blessed, or maybe i'm just that lucky.
but i'd be forever thankful and grateful to a lot of people.

okay, so there are a lot of people. but i just want to train my eyes on this particular person.
can you imagine going home at night, getting inside your room with the lights off, slipping off your sneakers then plopping yourself down at your bed, heaving a big sigh saying to yourself that the day is officially over...

then suddenly smile? parang tanga lang no? hahaha...

then there would be times when you're down. times where days can be a drag. may it be because of the annoying rain, flunking exams or pesky people around you, it just puts you down at times. but in spite of all of this, here you are silently laughing to yourself because something funny happened.

i can't remember the last time anyone really went out of their way to make sure that i wasn't cranky or sad anymore. but hey, i have that someone now. and well, i can heave a collective sigh of relief to my problems. take that! haha!!

i remember telling myself when i was a little kid that no one's ever going to like or even understand me. i remember meeting people who have proven me wrong. i remember the ups and downs with them. then i remember us parting ways because of me screwing up big time.

then i remember her. and i remember how hard it is to write about her because i couldn't stop smiling and i can't start typing.

to hell with having a lot of people. just give me 2 or 3 really good ones. i'd take that anytime.
or better yet, give me someone like her. i'd be set for my whole life.

"this is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world, and while she looks so sad in photographs i absolutely love her, when she smiles..."

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

something i learned this semester

to review for a final exam is boring.

in lieu of reading a whole lot of words regarding our national hero, here i am now, typing them instead. a lot has been said about what he said, a lot has been done since what he has done himself, so frankly i don't think anything substantial would be bound to come out of this post of mine.

the only thing that would matter this time would be my opinion, for this is my personal space.

as of this time, maybe there would also be other people who are bound to study more about our national hero. not that their school requires them to, or that a certain subject of theirs needs a little backgrounder about Rizal, but because they want to. after all, it takes a lot of things to be tagged with the alias "the pride of the Malayan race" or "the greatest Malayan who ever lived.". from food to fencing, from education to engineering, from ladies to linguistics, Rizal has took them on and has excelled at them with immense style and ease. he was, as i would like to call him, an academic machine. a tank with perpetual motion, able to operate at dizzying speeds and accomplish a whole lot in a very short amount of time. to calculate his efficiency would be something of a beauty. no movement wasted, nothing taken for granted.

calm, cool and smart. not your typical nerd. he could lay down his fists as if it were the law if he wanted to. he was the school valedictorian with the bully's strength. he was the doctorate holder who had a jiu-jitsu black belt. he may be, in our time, the Nobel Prize laureate, Olympic Gold medalist and UFC lightweight champion all at the same time. he was THAT good. and he was a Filipino.

but apart from all the accolades (including the 22 languages he speaks fluently), he was first and foremost a nationalist. a reformist who wanted equality practiced in his homeland between his people and their conquerors.

he whom wrote two blockbuster novels which depicted scenes of society delivered with his own critical commentary in the form of his lead character. part historian and part sociologist, our national hero gave us a 3rd person perspective of what the Filipino has endured during the arduous and taxing reign of the Spaniard. noting that not only was thorough critique given but also comprehensiveness not being compromised unlike in other history books written today.

Joe was THAT good. his teachings are timeless. his writings have a certain prophetic ring to it. fanatics to him claim that he is a godsend. a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. yet the mere fact that his writings about society which were published more or less 300 years ago are still applicable today indicate a sad truth: we still have not progressed as a nation.

backward, neo-colonial and marginalized. this is who we are. and unless a conscious effort is given to make sure that our national hero's works are to be rendered ineffective in today's world, we would still be stuck in where we are. still a conquered and beleaguered people whom owe their identity to foreign powers in control. the only things which are different in today's society is the fact that we are being controlled in more subtle and psychological ways. our patronization of the english language is one. sabihin nyo nagsusulat ako ngayon sa ingles. oo nagsusulat ako para yung mga nagfifeeling na magaling dyan at nakakaintindi ng ingles (kuno) e basahin yung blog ko. para mamulatan naman sila. para di sila tawaging tanga at ignorante.

if what Rizal wrote a couple of hundred years ago still holds true today, then we have a lot of work to do. if what we see in his writings still reflect in our society today, then we can say that we still live in the Spanish era. Filipinos still being a minority in their own land. peddling what remains of their "culture" to tourists who feel that they immerse themselves in deeply rooted cultural activities. in a world where everything is sourced to maximize profits and gains, nobody has yet taken that step backward to see if we have moved even a little bit as our national hero envisions us to, or there are a lot already, such as the Constantinos, but their influence is heavily limited to those who have access to the vast syntheses they have made for Philippine historiography. our national hero's writings are preserved for a lot of reasons, one to for us to appreciate his vision for a better nation, and another to be a guide or a point of comparison for us to know if we have indeed made strides forward towards national development. if we still see ourselves in the picture Rizal has painted in his works, then what we have done is inadequate.

there is more work to be done. and there can never be too many hands to do the dirty work.
if we fight a mirror image of ourselves, all we have to do then is to break the surrounding glass.

Monday, October 01, 2007


galing kami sa senado kanina. kasi kinapanayam namin si Senador Pia S. Cayetano ukol sa isyung e-waste.
eto mga nangyari:
- late si mark at nilibre nya kami ng pamasahe (taxi pa) papuntang GSIS kung saan nagtatrabaho ang mga senador
- di pumasok yung magaling kong titser kaya di rin kami nakapagpasa nung case study na pinagpuyatan ko. haha laking abala talaga.
- daming media at senador sa senate building (malamang)
- dami ring kupal. mga mayamang squatter. mga kakandidato sa eleksyon kaya pumunta sa senado para manghingi ng suporta sa isang senador.

lalaki1: oi pare! long time no see! balita ko kakandidato ka raw sa barangay ninyo a.
lalaki2: oo nga pare. kaya nga ako andito e. hehehe!!!

tignan ninyo, ultimo mga taong kumakandidato sa mga mababang posisyon ay nag-aabala pang lumuwas ng maynila upang mamalimos. ang gastos ninyo. para kayong mga tao sa wowowee. napakahayok sa pera. tama yung kinaiinisan naming security sa sinabi niya.

"mga maliliit na buwaya lang naman yang mga yan eh."

- dumalo rin kami ng senate hearing. may mga bill na madaling napasa. at dun ko narealize na ang privilege speech pala ay maaring maging tungkol sa kahit saan. sa senado, pwede kang dumaldal ng tungkol sa kinain mong almusal kaninang umaga kahit na tungkol sa national budget ang agenda ng inyong meeting.
- sa wakas nakita ko na rin sa tunay na buhay ang pagwawala ni Miriam Defensor-Santiago. ayos.
- andun din si Rez Cortez. baka papanoorin nya si Kiko Pangilinan. o kaya sisigaw sya ng "NO TO MR. NOTED!" habang nagsasalita ang asawa ni Sharon.
- walang pumapansing taga -media kay Migs Zubiri sa Senado. hmmmm bakit kaya?
- nagresign na si Benjamin Abalos bilang Comelec Chairman
- may babaeng dumating na galit na galit na pinagmumura ang mga Aquino. malamang isa sya sa libu-libong sakada na nabiktima ng pangmomolestya ng mga may-ari ng lupa.
- at may bago na kaming crush. si Art Angel! woohoo!

yun lang. masaya mag-ikot sa senate building. at tama naman ang mga senador natin. may mga problema tayong sana ay tapos na kung maayos lamang ang pag implementa ng batas.