Sunday, December 30, 2007

because it is a midnight and i am hungry

i've got this feeling in my head right now. i can't point a finger on it, but then, it's a feeling that compels me to do something. something like contemplate, which i don't actually do a whole lot. or even read a book. just do something, my head tells me. but what it is, i do not know. i this an effect of the end of the year fast approaching? or maybe it was the combination of coke and gatorade that has put my head into this state of being.

somehow today has been the climax of me feeling really, really old (maybe mature, but i don't really think i deserve to be called as such) these past few days. my younger sister is almost rebellious right now. something i did not think would happen, but it did. so here i am, watching, talking to her. i don't want to see my sister cut herself or something. i think that's a total bummer. or maybe i just hate the fact that people mutilate themselves due to emotional distress. really pointless. i hope i can pull this off. heck, i am growing old, i'm even starting to become the man in the house. of course next to my dad.

when i was a tad little younger i didn't think i'd be in this situation, growing up to be a man (haha, i am still apprehensive in typing this, but i have to let this go.

or else it's gonna explode in my face.

i've always liked to be depended on, i've always wanted to help. somehow growing up, i get tasked these responsibilities, chores or whatever. then i watch the other people grow together with me. i've seen my folks grow, i've seen my friends grow, i've seen my sisters grow and i have seen myself grow, amongst others. somehow i have probably reached that part in my life wherein it is me who shall take on the reins and direct my life to where i want it to go. slowly, but definitely, independence has been given to me. then that point would come, where i am my own boss in my life.

somehow i'll have to be able to accept the changes happening in my life right now. my sisters need me. my family needs me. and maybe someone else out there needs me. i'm thrust into this scenario where i to tell myself that i am no longer a child. not that i'll be growing up into some ridiculous, pessimistic monster, but i'd rather not lose the optimism in me that keeps me going. it may make others happy, and seeing others happy makes for a smiling me. (haha) looks like i'll be graduating from my teens sooner than i thought. my goodness. and i thought i was going to go through that twen-teen syndrome a lot of people have.

someday i'll go through all these things which i wrote. the dreaded blog archives. haha. then i'll get a better picture of me. growing up.

i'd pick growing up, rather than growing old.
i hate the word "old". reminds me of a very sad dream i had. peace.

Monday, December 24, 2007

what time is it?! it's christmas time! hoooo!

contrary to what i've thought for the past few days, i would not be posting a very serious blog post due to the fact that it may spoil the holiday spirit. and who wants to read something too serious when everyone is happy and merry-making eh? so here i am, updating my blog.

hooray! this would be the 100th post! on Christmas Eve! haha! life is good my fellow people. indeed. although i threw away 400 bucks for a set of crummy earphones (damn you odyssey. i still can't get over it), i feel though that everything would work out, starting today.

i've completed the nine mornings of mass!! wooop wooop!!!! i still don't know if my wish would be granted, but i do hope so.

moving on, i wish that everyone enjoys this Christmas season, where it be an up or down year for y'all. it's always good to end the year with a bang, and with the new year just around the corner, this would also be a good time to evaluate oneself. what you did, what you learned (side note: suddenly my stomach is aching. not good), what you've accomplished during the past 365 days. then thank the Lord for every blessing you have received. people often overlook this, so be a nice boy/girl and give thanks to the man above.

i suddenly realized that I too, am growing up. like what my long time friend has jokingly said to me, "nagbibinata ka na?". which got me into thinking. well, somehow, i've encountered experiences that have shaped me into what i am now, and i am glad to say that, well, i've grown as a person. so too are the people around me. i think surrounding myself with the right mix of people has made me better and wiser than the year before. wow, so feeling ko naman antanda ko na. pero ok lang. i really think i've outgrown myself from last year. i hope this bowls over to 2008. that would be fun. :)

i want to say once again, thanks to all of the people whom have made this year as memorable as the other years. in a few month's time we would all be in our last years in college (well, not for me, i still have med school), and a few more moments after that, we'll be graduates. Christmas, i think, is the best time to thank all of those people whom you have made memories with. do remember that i love you all!!!

happy holidays! :D