Bruised

maybe i'm lucky. no one ever goes to my blog now i have my own multiply site. great.

so this online space i have right now suddenly becomes a private one. haha. exactly what i need right now. especially with all the shit going on in my life.

we have no classes today. goodie. means i don't have to see certain people. haha. i hate seeing people happy at my expense. that's crap. it annoys me very much. oh well, so much for being in hatred with annoyances.

currently pouring myself out on Coldplay, Jack's Mannequin, Aqualung and Ben Folds Five. Its nice getting lost amidst the melodies of the piano and the various guitar distortions. Its a brief escape from my bullish life right now. Yeah i need a lot of escapisms especially now. Now that i'm alone. And now that somebody else is happy to my detriment.

A few days ago I read Kuya Darcy's paper (he studies Lit in DLSU) about poetry. He talks about us humans being gods in some respect because of the feelings we can interject through playing with the words within poetry. Songs are basically the same since they are also poems, but with sounds. The best ones know how to toy with what we feel and then amplify it through beautiful instrumentation. Yeah i agree with Kuya Darcy, we are Gods.

Everyday gets harder. I drag myself out of the bed. I stare at my phone and its time screensaver. No one bothers to communicate with me. That's fine. Maybe the one that even tries to communicate was the last one i would talk to. Could someone other than her text me? haha maybe not.

i recently had all of these really cranky thoughts running through my head. oh they were nothing much, but i guess they were bad so that i wouldn't have to do it. i hate doing bad things.

thoroughly enjoying valkyrie profile right now. maybe i ought to buy the ps2 and play the 2nd game (valkyrie profile 2: silmeria), which was hailed the "most beautiful" game for the ps2. yeah, i'm gonna buy myself a ps2. hahaha. so i can forget about all the bullshit i have and immerse myself on other things.

maybe i should join an org in school. so i can meet other people. yeah, that would be good.

my birthday's comin up. hopefully if i can just get a greeting from a certain someone and my family, then it would be nice. i won't expect anything after that. i'll just get my birthday money and move on with my life.

although that birthday would mark the 2nd time i was truly sad.

i'd like to see rain pouring down a big glass window. kind of makes a miniature waterfall. that's a good thing to watch right now. with my current condition i can watch it the whole day.

i should thank people right now. i am sad. and now my ability to write has come out again. cool!