TV. Reunions. Rockband.

i just got home this afternoon after spending the whole night with high school friends. it was a fun night of swimming, drinking and merry making. a lot of stories to tell, catching up to do and memories to rehash, plus endless picture taking. and laughing. and more laughing. oh, did i already say laughing?


since there were a lot of the people and there were a lot of drinks, a lot of them ended up drunk. as in shit drunk. or fucked drunk. there were some of them who can really hold their alcohol but majority of them (exclude me because i do not drink) were really out of their mind doing random funny stuff every man and woman from college has done.


in spending the night with these guys, i fondly remember the days of high school, of which life back then was simpler and a bit more black and white. by also combining this hindsight with the present time, i appreciated that although some people have changed (for the better, i guess) they essentially remained as the same boys and girls i have met four years ago. basically the main difference of then and now may be the prevalence of alcohol in their systems which is probably one of the greatest lessons college could ever give.


(i even drank a shot of (fake) vodka. it was water that was in the glass. i'm getting used to this fake drinking. haha. it gives the people around me a sense of peace since they think that they have persuaded me to drink. i bet my ass i won't.)


in the bus going home, my former hs classmate vincent and i talked about how the quality of TV has sunk to an all-time low, especially in the local front. Shows have lost their originality, and most of us are stuck with old movies being remade into series or fantasy series where special effects aren't so special or simple, crappy love stories ala Daisy Siete which i abhor to the death.


the glut of TV programming has forced writers into creating content which simply captures your attention and BARELY makes an effort to improve upon their product. this happens way too often in the local TV where afternoon dramas kill the shit for sheer stupidity and lack of emotion.


(still my favorite afternoon drama scene: involves the main kontrabida who, after having a dialogue with her mother pulls out a sniper rifle from under a living room table and points it to the main couple happily picnicking in the garden. though a sniper rifle is in many levels of awesome, using it in point blank is a thing monkeys are more prone to do and WHO THE FUCK HIDES A SNIPER RIFLE UNDERNEATH A LIVING ROOM TABLE? epic fail.)


for me, playing video games beats local tv on any day, (i would rather listen to AM radio. believe me, Ted Failon is one awesome bastard.) and on this day i was able to experience the sheer coolness of the game they call ROCKBAND.


peripheral-based music games are the rage right now, with the original Guitar Hero opening the flood gates to bigger and better games. Rockband allows 4 players which consists of 2 guitars, 1 mic and 1 drum set. it's like Dance Dance Revolution of the older days, where you need to follow the keys or indicators to score points on a certain song.


what makes the new-age peripheral games (guitar hero or rockband) really sweet is that when a note is missed, the song does not play correctly. that core of the game is what really takes the cake for me, giving me the illusion that i myself am the one manning the instrument of choice (which is the drums in my case) and playing the beats to the song. really fun shit. especially when you have the full 4 player team. i honestly think this rockband should be in every house party because it is the best instant multiplayer game out there right now.


so thus begins my love for Rockband. i hope to get a few more sessions of this during vacation. drumming is really good cardio. haha!


the first weekend of my vacation was a blast. had an awesome saturday and sunday! and rockband made my day today. :D


P.S.
playing That's What You Get by Paramore got me my best score for the day on Rockband. :D

Smiles and High Fives

today was a fun day. today is also the 1st day of my vacation. 2 weeks. not really much, but enough for me to study, chill out, hang out with old classmates and buy stuff.


tonight i finish my christmas shopping. the gift is almost complete, but it still needs one final touch. i hope i could do that in the best of moods so that it would turn out to be one of the best things that i would have done. only the best for my girl. :)


in other news, i have revamped the blog's appearance as you can see. got tired of the xml skin i was using, though xml was fun because it was easy to customize, finding good skins are such a chore. which is why i reverted my template to the classic html. thus, the new look. will be putting up links when they are available. so for those visiting this page, don't forget to drop your links in the chat box. thanks in advance.


this afternoon was the first time i drove from the house to the mall. i'm really having fun driving. though the side thoughts of causing accidents aren't really allowing me to let go. someday i'm going to be a great driver. parang sa racing lang. hahaha!


ate 2 servings of puto bumbong today, which means dinner will be delayed tonight. 


received a lot of things from my girl today. one of them was a Keroro Gunso pillow. 

me and my girlfriend still laugh so hard when we see it. :D
so today is the first day of my vacation. and today ends with a great big smile in my face. :D

Tough luck

i had one of those days today. days where i just had to be in really, really bad situations. flunked 2 exams i was supposed to pass.. felt really bad because of something. ate lunch alone. had too much alone time today. 


i haven't posted anything new today because i was busy studying for the last set of exams for the year. too bad all the preparation went to nothing. so much for hoping of blogging about something really inspiring today. the thing is, i don't really need inspiration right now. i have it all thanks to my girlfriend. but after that, it all boils down to me. i'm supposed to be angry at myself right now because i failed. but i should know better not to be too hard on myself. 


if there is one thing i learned from watching and reading about the Houston Rockets, it's always push, push, push and when you're tired from pushing, push a bit more. their team is a well-coached and tireless bunch. a team too wise for their collective youth. almost all of their players are easy to love (though i miss von wafer. wtf von, leaving Houston for Olympiakos? are you kidding?) and are smart, high IQ ballers.


of this hardy bunch, i particularly love Shane Battier. the no-stats all-star. the guy who is assigned the task of locking down the opposing team's leading scorer, a task i also love doing in basketball. he's smart, tough and has a big heart. he's someone i like to emulate for his utter dedication in both practice and in games. i got my "not too high, not too low" philosophy from him. life, just like a basketball game, doesn't always go the way we want to. because of this, we learn how to adapt ourselves when celebrating victories and accepting defeats. not everyday has to be your day, and from this fact alone we should accept the propensity of life to get out of whack for reasons we sometimes cannot control. after all, how would we be able to appreciate life's perfection if we do not know what its imperfections are? i would definitely love to apply Shane's philosophy of doing his routines without fail, without expecting the outcome. that way, maybe i could be more efficient and effective in doing the things that are occupying my day-to-day life.


i should start today. be more determined. be more prepared. they say preparing well is winning half the battle. like Shane and the Rockets, unimaginable adversities are bound to come time and time again, but like them, i should not let defeats deter me in pursuing my goals. i should chase, push, scrap and claw my way through to get a hold of my dreams. 


maybe one of these days i'm going to get really lucky. only time will tell. but until then, it's back to business. i have to prepare again soon.


** in other news, i have ditched the thought of buying a new phone this Christmas. i'm going to buy a lenovo s-10-2 netbook instead. a new 2GB memory stick and maybe a new case would do my sturdy k770 a good facelift.

Bored

my mind is on vacation right now. for whatever reason, when i come home somehow my brain loops the thought of vacation over and over and over again.

we only have one week to go, and that includes 3 exams which i have to be great on. kinda fucked biochemistry (the best subject to make you look stupid) and still have to make 2 handouts for both anatomy and physiology.

a lot of work, but with proper time management i would be able to do this. if there only was time left to waste. or maybe i could just wish for time to stop and enable me to dawdle around and refocus myself to the task at hand: do great in the upcoming exams.

but alas, we also have a packed Friday. we have two events to do (the college has been really gracious in giving us things to do aside from study) because of the alumni celebration, and now i heard our batch also has to sponsor one Simbang Gabi, but i do not look forward into involving myself with that.

this afternoon i will venture out into the streets of Manila and meet with my girlfriend. hopefully she can inject some really needed inspiration into myself. for now, i would have to bank on my will to overcome laziness and start studying.

Love for the game

played a round of hoop today. it's been two weeks since i last played in our court here in the subdivision where i live in. enjoyed the sweat, the trash talking and the company of old friends which have been there through the years.


i owe so much to the game. it has been in my blood for so long. well, maybe not much. i started playing when i was in 3rd grade. nothing serious, just like any kid i would venture outside the 3-point line and heave the ball with all my might hoping that it would hit the iron of the ring. (of course that was the wrong thing to do, because later on i worked more on my midrange and post up game. haha.) my cousins introduced me to the game. i only had lukewarm interest in it, and did not envy those other kids which showed prowess early on.


my love for the game started when i was in 2nd year high school. i had classmates who had a love affair with basketball. everyday we were together there would always be stories of players, teams and games. it was infectious. they played whenever they could get a chance. while i wasn't allowed to because back then i could not get my parent's permission to go to silang or dasmarinas to play ball. we had fun that year, eventually making it to 3rd place in the intramurals. i surely wished we should have won it back then, but no regrets. we had a good game. by the next year, many of them (my classmates) continued on to play for the school varsity.


i remembered getting a first taste of the action then. i was subbed in around midway of the 2nd quarter. the moment i held the ball i was whistled for a traveling violation. i walked. i didn't even remember how i did it, but that event engraved into my mind how far back i was in terms of skill level. and how allergic i've been to traveling calls (ever since i've never been whistled for it. as far as i know).


after 2nd year and every summer after, i started taking ball seriously. and my friends did too. we formed a team which also led to the forming of our group. we didn't really have a name yet, and i will always remember those years when we used to get up every morning at around 6am and play until 9am. and get beat up over and over again by the other teams we played with. it was always a challenge for us back then, up to now. we've basically played all of the people here in our place. and whenever our team was found around the court, they're the ones inviting us to play. this part of ball is what i love. respect between teams, as individuals, respect for the game. although sometimes there would be jerks who are just too flamboyant for their own good and for which i took personal satisfaction in beating their team up.


aside from seeing the team grow and mature through the years, i simply amaze myself by looking back and seeing how far my game has come. basketball has been the true example of hard work paying off for me. something that i would wish to emulate in my studies. the attitude to always learn and look for some things which would improve my game to the endless hours spent in front of the pc watching videos of players teaching their skills. i especially like to watch Kobe videos. he's the most complete player of his generation and has a ton of moves to teach. he also possesses the killer mentality that MJ had, and is really the best Jordan since Jordan. 


i would really like to go on and on and on about my love for the game and my basketball story. but as of today, my love for the game has been the only thing that i would be able to talk about. maybe i'll save my story as a player and write it here next year. whenever the mood strikes me. 


Success is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. this is the most important thing i think basketball taught me.






random:
* i have finished watching Entourage. season 7 begins next year and it has been kinda epic that there is nothing in my bittorrent client to be downloaded.
** i really have to upgrade to windows 7. i hope my classmate can give me a copy.

Moody

i am not doing the urinary system notes that i should be doing tonight.
because of one reason: i am not in the mood.


though i may not look like it, i am a person governed by moods. when i am in the mood to work, i am instantly motivated and turn out my best work. when i am not in the mood, well, forced shit happens. not that the quality of work looks really bad, but rather a veil of dissatisfaction covers my work done while not in the mood.


ever since grade school, i already have pointed out the importance of being in the mood, the right state of mind to do things. i think i answered the question "what motivates you the most to do your work" with the phrase " i have to get into the mood."


it's like having sex. you don't really want to be banging all the time because you are just too aware that the human body has its own internal limits. and making love while not enjoying it, ergo being "not in the mood" may suck in its entirety. tv teaches a lot of things of this nature right?


so, what does get me amped up to go to work? that i really do not know. sometimes i operate on a whim, sometimes i sleep and wake up feeling really powerful and trying to do everything in a flash. but i know it won't happen, not when the mood starts to flag down a little. you see, getting into the mood and staying in the mood are two different animals to contend with. that is why having this style of working by the mood cycle can sometimes be both a blessing and a curse. you may turn out the best work when you are in the zone, but what if the situation demands something now and by all chances you're not in the mood? in my case i get stumped. which is not the best situation to be in.


my girlfriend preaches the "motivation gets you started, discipline takes you there" mantra, and there have been times that i've bought into it. i try to stoke myself up and fight the laziness which was inhibiting the working mood from manifesting itself. there are times where it works and times where it doesn't. and then there are occurrences where i am totally focused or totally lazy. such is a guy being governed by his moods.


damn, i sound like a girl.

Politika

what's up everyone? i only had morning classes today, and still i was an hour late. i overslept (damn i was dog tired) but i'm still thankful since that extra amount of sleep had me recharged and ready for the day's work.

let's talk about politics.

haven't watched the news lately, but i have been doing my reading in the internet. the massacre in Maguindanao has boiled over. rebellion raps left and right. now declaration of martial law in the area. really juicy stuff for experts and pundits to munch upon, but as it stands, almost every institution related to the government is in shambles right now. there are just too many problems to deal with.

we have automations which are just ready to fail in May next year. i really don't buy into the apparent "preparedness" of the Comelec, since it was the automated elections in Mindanao that brought the Ampatuans into power. maybe i'm wrong, and i would be relieved as hell if i ever was wrong, but the scene follows the same script.

we also have a shameless president who's just had too much fun riding the highest position in the land. now aspiring for a congressional seat after her term, all signs point to another power play set to target a Constitutional Assembly in a matter of years.

we are going to have the most difficult elections next year. maybe Randy David was right. we SHOULD wage war against every man and woman allied to the scum president that we have, and let us make our votes count. let us not make the administration cronies woo us again with any shit that comes out of their holes. we have grown to be smarter and more critical of what is happening. let us put this education we have and manifest it into a vote. shame on the people who do not wish to vote. they too should be held accountable for their inactivity and the apathy they display to society.

i have a college friend who is taking up masteral studies in political science. he loves politics. he bleeds politics, loves the healthy discussion and debate, the speculation and the wanton acts our esteemed leaders every so often commit. i would always remember him because he would be having so much fun right now dissecting what the hell is happening in the country.

am i a political person? well fuck yes. i am involved and aware of what is happening, and i am fully knowledgeable of the power my vote can bring. i know my opinion matters. 

on a related note, i still do not have anyone to put in my ballot next year. i also disapprove of the "approval" of the premature campaigning in this year's elections.

Recurrent

i'm still trying out the new blogger XML. the customization has been better now since a lot of the html stuff has been reduced and all you needed to do is just point and click.


i've noticed that i have written entries which have revolved around my on and off relationship with writing. now that i've mentioned it, i think that a need to explain myself is due.


i've been writing since gradeschool. i gladly remember winning a contest in elementary which got me a Wizard of Oz book to read. i also remembered having to rewrite my winning essay because the faculty lost my submission. i think i didn't really enter that contest because i liked it but it was more of a requirement that we had to write about something and it was being judged by the teachers. i couldn't recall what was the topic back then, and the sweetness of that victory wasn't really savored since all i knew back then was just to play, play and play.


i remember the first time i fell in love. the words which couldn't escape my mouth flowed throughout the time i was holding a pen. she said i wrote the sweetest letters. i remember the heartbreaks that i went through everyday when rejection came. i remember being the best writer that i am when i was sad. yeah, maybe that was the catch. that was one really compelling reason not to write about anything, since i wasn't really that sad at all..


but then, i remembered how good i was when i'm madly in love, like i am today.


i really needed to polish my words because this holiday season i plan on writing a letter that would knock the socks off the heels of the woman i have loved for so long. 


so this has been a tale of extremes. of one end being the heartbroken, melancholic and stressed out person or of one being the jubilant, loved and cheerful opposite. 


writing has been a very powerful tool of expressing how i feel. people around me do not see the raw emotion unless they have seen my writings. that just about works for me anyway, and i'll be putting the finishing marks on my nth "i'm back" entry tonight.


because on this day, i'm gonna be back to writing. hopefully for good.

Finally

i was supposed to do this blogger facelift on the 18th. unfortunately i had too much time on my hands on a Sunday evening while trying to figure out how to study for my upcoming exams and downloading tv shows on the internet. (what a pirate i must be)

i really have a lot of ideas to write about. i've been thinking about them for the past 2 weeks. since mentally i've been preparing myself to make a serious run at blogging. since medical school has only compelled me to read, read and read, i opted to make use of this blogger account to write, write and write. i've noticed my deficiency in writing during the past few months and thus i had made up my mind to make use of this personal space of mine to make up for the absence of writing in my personal life right now.

so, what have i been up to lately? still studying. passing the exams. somehow i have adjusted to the grind of medical school. slowly i've been developing a system for learning, but it isn't that complete yet. in case you're wondering, i have been enjoying myself in school. i'm getting to know the other people of the batch i belong to, and so far the experience has been pretty damn fun.

particularly enjoyable was the whole JFT experience. a really great event to participate in. almost everybody in the batch did something for the success of our presentations, though there were still some knuckleheads who really didn't want any part of it. well, i rest on the fact that the experience we had was a complete WIN. it was their loss that they did not participate.

i enjoyed managing and coordinating the batch production. i'm really a behind the scenes guy and i do my best behind the curtain. one thing that really amuses me is the reputation i have been slowly building within my peers as a flexible and capable person. as i was telling my girlfriend over at dinner yesterday, i really wanted to be someone who can be depended on and i think my efforts have not gone unnoticed. it's enough to say that i'm pretty amped already for next year now that ideas have started to pour in. hopefully everyone on board today will still be on board next year.

so that would be all for tonight.

finally, blogging again. it is nice to be back.

looking forward to the better days

in around 2 weeks, my first semester of medical school would be over. overall, i think academically and personally i sucked.

i really don't think people or our profs should be calling us doctors already. i can't really feel that i am making progress, though there are times when i correctly diagnose someone or i somehow find the ability to muster some "medical advice" to my friends. the term "doctor" should be reserved to those who would make it. personally i think it's too early to call us anything else except students.

today every subject we had gave their own version of quizzes. so in all i had 4 quizzes. and then another possible 2 (there would be 1 for sure) will be done tomorrow. this is on top of upcoming evaluations and final exams for our semestral subjects. the next two weeks we'l be having would be shit. but then again, that's life. not that we're gonna get fucked or anything, but we can do something about it.

in spite of this, we still look forward to the good days ahead. there would be times where life seems a whole lot of bull, but it just serves as a counter-balance so that we may be able to appreciate more the good times and the blessings we may receive each day.

for the next few weeks i hope to save money to buy stuff and get new shoes. plus i hope that we get the faster broadband. when sembreak comes, i'm going to ball out like crazy. till then, its back to work. peace out.

before reviewing for an exam

i REALLY had to write this down. was supposed to tweet some of these thoughts but if some asshole finds out i'm gonna be in big trouble.

- intrabatch/interbatch LOVE. yes naman. nakakatuwa talaga ang mga babae. lalo na sa group namin. haha! i really did not want to share any stories as told by them. suffice to say it gave me some more insights into who they really are, since as of now the people who study medicine are settling down and are going back to their undergrad habits. ditto to myself.

- tsismis. gossip. or things-you-are-not-supposed-to-know-but-you-knew-since-you-were-there or shit-i-did-not-know-that kind of stuff. trying to memorize certain stories that people may consider "juicy" is like studying anatomy. there is so much to know! haha!

- Maxene Magalona's nose. my girlfriend told me this afternoon that since her first afternoon drama show, Francis Magalona's daughter has had a rather pointy nose. Two things i would like to point out: first, if you were to play a role of ANY woman who is actually not rich, why go for the nose job? do i really need to see a chambermaid whose nose can actually puncture the wall of my house? second, THOSE GODDAMNED NOSTRILS! if you look at her nose closely, one nostril is bigger than the other. what the f***.

- Bayani Fernando. to aspire endorsement of the Administration Party as candidate to the highest post of the land, BF has displayed behavior of a toddler which ticks off a lot of people and what's more to that were his answers during the aforementioned Party's executive meeting which tiptoed the line between moronic and hilarious (i.e. to get more jobs the rich have to get richer so more wages can be issued). Good thing the Administration Party wasn't high on marijuana nor drunk as hell to choose him as the standard bearer.

- Gibo, Noynoy and Manny V. still haven't found any reason to vote for any of them. Noynoy has a pathetic legislative record, Manny V.'s commercials only need the words "for President" to be qualified as campaign material and Gibo hasn't shown anything except fluency in Ilocano. (haha)

all this shit came from watching TV on the bus in the afternoon and from watching the evening news. now back to regular programming.

blogging from the laptop

another exam is coming. somehow i've been able to study and by hanging out with the smart dudes and dudettes in our batch i've kinda picked up some things which would enable me to better master the art of taking stressful exams.

i have somehow pinpointed my weakness, and that is my inability to be relaxed during exams or quizzes. somehow i need to learn how to be relaxed and composed. i'm already excited to take the next exams because it's another chance to prove myself. i think having that meeting with the guidance counselor helped me a lot.

i was watching Michael Jordan's Hall of Fame induction and one thing about him struck me. he was very uncompromising and was finding ways to motivate himself all the time. somehow i lack the high levels of discipline and motivation that are needed to perform on a higher level. i must be able to obtain such so as to continue my journey into having the best medical career i can achieve.

options for my specialization are increasing. after studying the chest area, i've picked up interest in the field of head and neck surgery. even otorhinolaryngology. i'm keeping my mind open.

wish me luck!!! ^_^

What's Up?

hello everybody! it has been 2 months since i last posted in my blogger. though i haven't forgotten that i do have a blogger account, my body has not compelled me to write or post anything as of late.

but since i'm still hobbling due to a knee sprain i suffered last monday, i've taken it to myself to blog about what's been happening to my life.

medical school has been frustrating, tiring, cumbersome and fun for the 1st 3 months. it has been the longest 3 months of my life and frankly, there were days where frustration would get the best of me and i would find myself worn out after a week of cadavers, enzymes and metabolic pathways.

in spite of this, i do truly enjoy medschool, especially after meeting really wonderful people who i may call as my friends. new experiences and adventures (specially during laboratory) await us on any given day, spaced out by BORING/INTERESTING 4 hour lectures.

i believe that finally, i have been getting into my stride when it comes to academics. i believe that i have done a good job in keeping my head above water and not getting really low grades. my objective is to get the highest marks, but first i need to pass. :)

this year marks the first time i almost blew my knee out. thankfully it wasn't the MCL tear i was first diagnosed with, but rather a mild knee sprain. though i would be wearing knee braces the next time i play, which probably would be September.

i enjoy coaching our batch's basketball team. it's really good to know that my game has gotten instant respect and while i know that i should be improving myself, it is also imperative that the team and its players should improve alongside each other. we need to set an identity in the next game.

i want DEFENSE first. haha. the offense would come in after that.

in the meantime, i am trying hard to study while i combat pains in my arms and back. hopefully next week when i go to the orthopedist, good news may come.

stay safe everyone! ^_^

been a while

it has been a few weeks since i last posted anything on this blogsite. the last few days of mine have been dedicated to staying in front of the PC as long as possible. haha!

so most of the time i spend updating our tumblr blog, playing Assassin's Creed and following the NBA Finals.

so, recently i thought about having any worthy topic to post on this site, one which i can talk about in length, but apparently, i am too lazy to talk about anything in length. i don't know why i am so lazy about it, but i can't call it a writer's block because of the fact that i was just very lazy and all.

medical school starts for me in a few days. i wish to enjoy every second of it and be the greatest doctor i could ever be.

so, back to the supposed topic. it has been a long while since i posted on this blog. apparently, i am being engulfed by this wave or should i say, a new trend going on in the internet: micro-blogging.

so far, i have been a member of Twitter and Tumblr for quite some time, and i have to say, posting bits of my life as they happen by the spur of the moment has given me satisfaction. that, and because i was too lazy to write anything in length. though i am predisposed to having deep thoughts, i find it too taxing to try and extrapolate them into words which only a few people ever really see. not that i would abandon posting on this. but the fact is, time has been less for me to write prose contemplations on what i think and that of which happens in my life every so often.

i think that would be all for today. i'd still be posting. haha! look at me reassuring myself. :P

N.N.N.N.....!

sex videos are the rage of news networks right now. by networks, i mean ABS-CBN and GMA. by news, i mean the shit they broadcast between 6 to 8 PM every weekday.

for a show aptly named 24 Oras, all they actually did today was stand by the Senate halls listening to the Senate's hearing on the maligned doctor's sex videos. TV Patrol was committing the same sin as well. about 70% of air time was devoted to Hayden Kho and his family. somebody needs to see the tv ratings they have produced right now and give them a reality show. something like, Keeeping Up with the Kho, or any other shitty title.

as it stands right now, Hayden Kho has flipped the switch from upstart, cosmopolitan, hunkish doctor into a deranged, drug abusing, psychologically impaired shell of a man in a span of one week. to me, this psychologically impaired part was manufactured by his lawyers.

maybe, the psychologically impaired part of Hayden was that he failed to get his hands on a HIGH-DEFINITION camera instead of a low-res one that shoots in MP4 and 3GP format! really now, this makes the video size really small, and makes it really, really tempting to be uploaded.

anyway, what i hate about this whole scenario is the fact that the storyline has changed directions too many times. it started with Katrina Halili going to the Senate to ask for help because her rights were violated due to the uploading of the explicit videos. that was then, today, everyone is training their eyes on Hayden Kho's apparent durg addiction, coupled with the fact that he still hasn't mentioned the supplier of his drugs (whom he allegedly says is a VERY, VERY big name). so today, the whole thing has evolved into a new monster altogether. and the networks are really happy because the story lives to see another day, with all the implications still intact and bursting at the seams.

the ABS-CBN comedy show Banana Split, spoofs the late night entertainment gossip show by Kris and Boy, entitled S.N.N. or Showbiz News Ngayon. they retitled it, N.N.N.N., which stood for eNtertainment News, Na Naman. which is probably what every sane person is thinking right now when they watch the news.

things that i should be anxious about

so i finally enrolled myself (c/o Mom) to medical school. for the past few days my mind has been wandering around imagining things that are bound to happen once i start med school. but i wouldn't really bother entertaining such thoughts right now.

fortunately for me, i have around 1 1/2 weeks left in my vacation. that's before the real work starts. i'd want to enjoy this summer to the fullest, so that i can start fresh and amped up for school.

i'm really stoked about watching the new Eureka Seven movie. i really loved the anime series, and for them to come out with a movie after four years is great. never mind that some of the old animations would be used, i just loved everything the series had. the action, romance, the sounds of the series, everything was just gravy for me. so i really have to watch this one, because i know that it would not disappoint.

to somehow get over my Eureka Seven fix, i've watched dvds and downloaded pictures of Renton, Eureka and the gang. really, i love those guys.

so much is going to happen within the next months or so. a lot of it however, hangs on me. for the first time in my life, i study to help my parents. i can now feel the urgency of the situation. i do hope i can get a scholarship that would allow my sisters to get into top-notch schools in order for them to have the best education possible. my parents have done their part. now would be the best time to do mine.

after almost a month

i feel kinda weird right now. all of a sudden, after saturating my eyes from watching tv shows all day in front of the pc which literally busted my butt to having to play SF with the homeboys til 3am, words started to fall in line here inside my mind..

for the past week since we've been eliminated from our little summer league, i found myself trying to enjoy what's left with my summer. so far, it has been great although i wasn't really given the freedom to go out whenever i liked because i did not have any money (literally pockets and piggy banks EMPTY).

fortunately, people around me have been finding ways to enjoy the summer heat (and rains!) without stretching the wallet much. many times i found myself either in debt or piggy-backing my friends who had the patience to lend me money. i swore that i'm going to get their money back (i WILL pay them off, EVENTUALLY. haha.)

but so far, summer has been good. a lot of good times, high times and first times. a lot of songs blaring through the speakers as i ran through the first summer after i graduated, telling stories of fun and adventure, of heartache and heartbreak, of the good times and the bad.

did i get better this summer? kind of. basketball wise, yeah there has been a little improvement. we finally got ourselves a team we can call our own. we call the shots, we play off each other's strengths, we make plays and we practice hard. i love it. hopefully next summer we can put ourselves back in a position where we can win, and we will do our best to achieve our goals.

as a person? again, somehow i've noticed an improvement. i did a lot of introspection when i was crawling past my last semester for my bachelor's degree, trying to analyze the positives that came with the negative experiences such as failed expectations, failed projects, exams, etc. but generally, it centralizes itself upon failure, and how i should handle it. this summer taught me a lot. although we lost, but we had fun. yeah it sucked, having to be at the tail-end of jokes from the people but that pretty much was it. no one really degraded us or anything, and we even got respect from others. overall, i learned that you should take failure with a smile, that i should give everything on the things or activities i involve myself on. i should work hard, but most of all, i should enjoy..

when i was finishing my degree, i didn't really enjoy some of the subjects i took, and not coincidentally i had subpar grades coming from these boring subjects. this reinforces my theory that whenever i enjoyed a subject, i usually got high grades from it..

now, the challenge from me is how to find fun and life within things or activities that strike me as boring. that would be... well, fun. i guess. haha.

this particular summer has been a ball. aside from the lack of money, i don't find anything to gripe about with this year's season of the sun. i hope you are enjoying your summer so far. make sure you get the most out of what is left of it.

something to think about as i put the finishes to this entry:
when you fail, do not forget what the experience taught you. sometimes the beauty is in the attempt, in the "try" section, in the journey. no one found beauty in giving up.

rainy summer nights

nobody really goes to my blog nowadays. or maybe they do, i just don't know about it. haha! i really am too lazy to put a hit counter on my site, since from experiences in the past have taught me that counters have expiration dates. (eeks!)

anyway, twitter, basketball and just hanging out with friends occupy my summer right now, if it is indeed a summer since for the past few days torrential rains ran down our roofs. what's good about it is that we have extra time to rest our nagging injuries (my sprained foot is still a bit swollen). the bad news about it is that, i feel so antsy waiting for our next game. we lost our 2nd game in the summer league due to our carelessness. and the fact that we didn't make any adjustments as urgently as they were needed.

but i still hold our team with high regard. we just have to instill more discipline and lay down a more stable system. so far we're caught up between going with our natural plays and trying to execute structured offenses, so sometimes we seem really lost in our play.

i don't really feel like graduating this summer. as far as i know, i'm in vacation mode. haha! but i'm trying to help my girlfriend find a job so that she doesn't go to the provinces. good luck on that.

so far, summer rocks. haha! nothing much to worry about. i have the time for my friends and family. i just wish i had more time with my girl so that summer would be complete. :x

to all who will be graduating this summer, congratulations! you probably deserve it! :)

thoughts

it's been a busy week for me and my girlfriend. clearance, fees and other activities typically signify one event which signifies the end of our undergraduate years: graduation.

but this isn't really about any sadness or happiness that graduation invokes within me. but rather, i'd like to take this opportunity to think about things a little bit.

if there is anything i learned about myself in my senior year of college education, its that i think too much..

ever since i became "responsible", i found myself fussing over things a little bit more than usual. giving them a tad more attention than needed. in the end, i tend to overthink and frustrate myself with so many ifs and buts.

not that i want to save everything until it blows up in my face, but as one old friend has said to me a long time ago, i tend to go back and play with the what if scenarios. that may be the worst trait i have attained this year.

of the many things that have happened to me, its failure that most compels me to think. of what happened, and what SHOULD have happened. then somehow i try to plan towards the best solution to the problem. then it fails. then i plan again.

it has become a very cyclical and deadly process for me. it puts unnecessary pressure on myself, and then expectations which are not realized also contribute to the damage caused by failure.

i'm afraid of failure. i really am.

never did i condition myself to fail, or put myself in a situation that losing was the only way out. people say that in order to succeed, one must accept failure.

i think i haven't really grasped that part.. yet. but i continue to work. the problem is, by working hard, things don't turn out the way i wanted them to be.

maybe that's just the start. i don't really plan on ditching the whole hard work and determination that i have demanded from myself this last year of my bachelor's degree. i've fallen down many times this year, but somehow i managed to put myself together again. maybe that's the key, that unwavering persistence and that stubborn belief that i can do it.

in a way i have cobbled together a post that deals with my ideas on my fear of defeat and shortcomings, though this really isn't all that's in my head right now..

i want to thank all those people who stood by me during the dark times: my mom, my girlfriend, my friends, the game of basketball which has remained as my relief from the stress of the real world, and that hope inside of me that never disappears.

i hope i get everything right someday. when i get to sort out and throw out all of these junk thoughts that litter my mind.

maybe my friend was right, what if never equates to WHAT IS. i should start appreciating what is, rather than what isn't.

grrrr

the last time i posted an entry here, it was kinda rushed.
this post would also be one of those rushed posts, and motivated by a great anger towards people who have no consideration.

i have no beef against any professors, but i don't think that being an impediment to the life goals of a great student-leader is not really something that should be handed down to.

sayang naman, hindi makakasama ang chairman sa paglalakad namin. tsk. nakakainis.