Something about working hard

when i first dove into medical school, i knew i had to work hard. harder than i've ever worked in my almost 15 years of schooling prior to this. the sheer volume of information being thrown at you is immensely daunting and tiring at the same time. a lot of adjustments had to be made: new school, new environment, new traditions, events, academic cultures, new challenges and new people to commune with. days in medical school were really long and dragging, with 4 hour lectures being the norm and extensions being considered normal procedure.

on top of that, mounting responsibilities at home and being away from my girlfriend. really nasty stuff. especially when you don't see each other for weeks primarily because I had four exams in the coming week.

this was the shit i had to put up with for the first few months. i was already ticked off that i couldn't get the lessons as quickly as others did. my big ego wasn't ready for much disappointment. there were times that academic failure and other problems mixed into a very deadly cocktail which was enough to break me down. somehow i needed to acknowledge my vulnerabilities. i needed to get my act together because medical school was not going to give me anything for free.

i needed to put it the work. i also needed a system that would provide me with the blueprint and motivation that i desperately wanted for me to make it through.

i started by opening my eyes a little bit. chopping up stuff, not really biting off too much, savoring the small victories like passing quizzes. from the start i knew i was in a disadvantage but i did not imagine the discrepancy to be really big. fortunately for me, that huge gap is constantly being closed upon by me every single day.

i put in the work, and trusted myself that i could make it though. whatever the ramifications of my work i would gratefully accept. success was hard to come by, but as the New Year turned, i somehow got it.

i got it. somewhat. passing medical school truly is hardwork and dedication. and it is almost always never enough. i needed to become a sponge. soak it in. learn as much as i could. things would turn out well. i trust that they do.

i just need to work on it.