Friday, April 04, 2008

am i ranting? i hope not.

"talaga?"

"weh, di nga?"

"no stir tsong?"

"ang KJ mo naman!"

"totoo ba talaga yan?"

...

enumerated above are exasperated expressions from people around me. Classmates, friends, cousins, former classmates (high school), and maybe more. try bringing me to a neighborhood inuman and you'll see the little known fact about me that drives these dumbfounded exclamations.

I DON'T DRINK. PERIOD.

no, not drinking water and other fluids per se. don't be stupid. what i don't drink is alcohol, and other drinks that people prohibit you when you are young, or in the case of the US, something that is worth getting a fake ID for.

i remember when i was in elementary, the craze when you're young was Cali Shandy. semi-alcohol. it's like the tutorial for drinking beer. it's got a little alcohol content on it, but not in massive amounts like beer. i heard from my friends that it still had a kick (or maybe because we were little kids back then. grade 5 isn't really old you know), and it was a very enjoyable drink.

when i entered college, i presumed that maybe the majority of people in my school drink. and i wasn't wrong. clubs flanked our campus (i study in Malate for crying out loud) and getting a drink was a few steps away. but i wasn't really into this drinking until my classmates started organizing these forays into clubs. it was like a drinking session for the whole block. unfortunately, i only drank water and softdrinks (and a little iced tea) the whole time. people didn't really notice it, since we were like so many (around 20 something).

the time when my non-alcoholism really went into the spotlight was when we were invited into this drinking session at my former classmate's house (name withheld), organized by my current blockmate (name also withheld) because my current blockmate has been experiencing problems of the heart (love for the stupid man who cannot decipher what i am saying).

so there we were, the six of us, minus me of course, who were drinking. since we were really few, my former classmate really tried his best to persuade me to drink. his efforts were vain of course. but this time, they turned on to my girlfriend (who likes to drink by the way), and well, she refused the first time, thinking what might happen if she drinks in front of me. after much prodding however, i relented. the night was one of the most unforgettable nights of my life. in a lot of ways good, and then some bad.

bad. i don't smoke, i don't drink, i don't gamble. practically i don't have vices. if basketball were a vice then that may be my vice. but i don't really engage myself in items which have a "sin tax" on them.

maybe it's really selfish in my part to prohibit someone from enjoying something that she likes to do. but then again, i really hate drinkers. i remember nights when my dad comes home to the house then pukes on the toilet because he was so drunk. thankfully that's over. i remember being texted by someone who was so drunk that she threatened to slash herself because a certain boy did not appease to her feelings (the boy was definitely not me), and the bad part was that in that certain time i was pursuing her. people do a lot of crazy shit when they are drunk. maybe i can attest to some good things crazy people do. but other than that, nah, crazy shit. either being silent or very audacious, wailing and walking in a very unbalanced manner. it would be a really great idea if i had a video camera with me then i'd record the shit they do. but then i'm not a person who would go out of his way to abuse one's alcoholism and ruin their day afterwards.

i don't try to pull off the image of a holy man for not having any vices. it's just that i don't like partaking in activities like that. and the fact that i am allergic to them (tobacco and alcohol) makes me more comfortable in staying as the way i am.

although a dilemma strikes me. do i pursue the selfishness of mine and forbid a person very dear to me from enjoying happiness or do i let the person be? then i'd deal with what happens later. it's still a big problem to me. something that moves me to tears while thinking about it on the bus. haha emote emote pa no?

i'm still buying to the idea of talking to my mom. i don't really know what would happen if i break down in front of her, but maybe she'll be able to talk sense into my head.

or maybe i should just follow suit and drink? nah, not really my style of coping.

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