something i learned this semester

to review for a final exam is boring.

in lieu of reading a whole lot of words regarding our national hero, here i am now, typing them instead. a lot has been said about what he said, a lot has been done since what he has done himself, so frankly i don't think anything substantial would be bound to come out of this post of mine.

the only thing that would matter this time would be my opinion, for this is my personal space.

as of this time, maybe there would also be other people who are bound to study more about our national hero. not that their school requires them to, or that a certain subject of theirs needs a little backgrounder about Rizal, but because they want to. after all, it takes a lot of things to be tagged with the alias "the pride of the Malayan race" or "the greatest Malayan who ever lived.". from food to fencing, from education to engineering, from ladies to linguistics, Rizal has took them on and has excelled at them with immense style and ease. he was, as i would like to call him, an academic machine. a tank with perpetual motion, able to operate at dizzying speeds and accomplish a whole lot in a very short amount of time. to calculate his efficiency would be something of a beauty. no movement wasted, nothing taken for granted.

calm, cool and smart. not your typical nerd. he could lay down his fists as if it were the law if he wanted to. he was the school valedictorian with the bully's strength. he was the doctorate holder who had a jiu-jitsu black belt. he may be, in our time, the Nobel Prize laureate, Olympic Gold medalist and UFC lightweight champion all at the same time. he was THAT good. and he was a Filipino.

but apart from all the accolades (including the 22 languages he speaks fluently), he was first and foremost a nationalist. a reformist who wanted equality practiced in his homeland between his people and their conquerors.

he whom wrote two blockbuster novels which depicted scenes of society delivered with his own critical commentary in the form of his lead character. part historian and part sociologist, our national hero gave us a 3rd person perspective of what the Filipino has endured during the arduous and taxing reign of the Spaniard. noting that not only was thorough critique given but also comprehensiveness not being compromised unlike in other history books written today.

Joe was THAT good. his teachings are timeless. his writings have a certain prophetic ring to it. fanatics to him claim that he is a godsend. a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. yet the mere fact that his writings about society which were published more or less 300 years ago are still applicable today indicate a sad truth: we still have not progressed as a nation.

backward, neo-colonial and marginalized. this is who we are. and unless a conscious effort is given to make sure that our national hero's works are to be rendered ineffective in today's world, we would still be stuck in where we are. still a conquered and beleaguered people whom owe their identity to foreign powers in control. the only things which are different in today's society is the fact that we are being controlled in more subtle and psychological ways. our patronization of the english language is one. sabihin nyo nagsusulat ako ngayon sa ingles. oo nagsusulat ako para yung mga nagfifeeling na magaling dyan at nakakaintindi ng ingles (kuno) e basahin yung blog ko. para mamulatan naman sila. para di sila tawaging tanga at ignorante.

if what Rizal wrote a couple of hundred years ago still holds true today, then we have a lot of work to do. if what we see in his writings still reflect in our society today, then we can say that we still live in the Spanish era. Filipinos still being a minority in their own land. peddling what remains of their "culture" to tourists who feel that they immerse themselves in deeply rooted cultural activities. in a world where everything is sourced to maximize profits and gains, nobody has yet taken that step backward to see if we have moved even a little bit as our national hero envisions us to, or there are a lot already, such as the Constantinos, but their influence is heavily limited to those who have access to the vast syntheses they have made for Philippine historiography. our national hero's writings are preserved for a lot of reasons, one to for us to appreciate his vision for a better nation, and another to be a guide or a point of comparison for us to know if we have indeed made strides forward towards national development. if we still see ourselves in the picture Rizal has painted in his works, then what we have done is inadequate.

there is more work to be done. and there can never be too many hands to do the dirty work.
if we fight a mirror image of ourselves, all we have to do then is to break the surrounding glass.

SENATE

galing kami sa senado kanina. kasi kinapanayam namin si Senador Pia S. Cayetano ukol sa isyung e-waste.
eto mga nangyari:
- late si mark at nilibre nya kami ng pamasahe (taxi pa) papuntang GSIS kung saan nagtatrabaho ang mga senador
- di pumasok yung magaling kong titser kaya di rin kami nakapagpasa nung case study na pinagpuyatan ko. haha laking abala talaga.
- daming media at senador sa senate building (malamang)
- dami ring kupal. mga mayamang squatter. mga kakandidato sa eleksyon kaya pumunta sa senado para manghingi ng suporta sa isang senador.

halimbawa.
lalaki1: oi pare! long time no see! balita ko kakandidato ka raw sa barangay ninyo a.
lalaki2: oo nga pare. kaya nga ako andito e. hehehe!!!

tignan ninyo, ultimo mga taong kumakandidato sa mga mababang posisyon ay nag-aabala pang lumuwas ng maynila upang mamalimos. ang gastos ninyo. para kayong mga tao sa wowowee. napakahayok sa pera. tama yung kinaiinisan naming security sa sinabi niya.

"mga maliliit na buwaya lang naman yang mga yan eh."

- dumalo rin kami ng senate hearing. may mga bill na madaling napasa. at dun ko narealize na ang privilege speech pala ay maaring maging tungkol sa kahit saan. sa senado, pwede kang dumaldal ng tungkol sa kinain mong almusal kaninang umaga kahit na tungkol sa national budget ang agenda ng inyong meeting.
- sa wakas nakita ko na rin sa tunay na buhay ang pagwawala ni Miriam Defensor-Santiago. ayos.
- andun din si Rez Cortez. baka papanoorin nya si Kiko Pangilinan. o kaya sisigaw sya ng "NO TO MR. NOTED!" habang nagsasalita ang asawa ni Sharon.
- walang pumapansing taga -media kay Migs Zubiri sa Senado. hmmmm bakit kaya?
- nagresign na si Benjamin Abalos bilang Comelec Chairman
- may babaeng dumating na galit na galit na pinagmumura ang mga Aquino. malamang isa sya sa libu-libong sakada na nabiktima ng pangmomolestya ng mga may-ari ng lupa.
- MAY TWISTER FRIES NA ULIT ANG MCDO! :)
- at may bago na kaming crush. si Art Angel! woohoo!

yun lang. masaya mag-ikot sa senate building. at tama naman ang mga senador natin. may mga problema tayong sana ay tapos na kung maayos lamang ang pag implementa ng batas.

salamat sa bench

yesterday BENCH saved my day. and my life.

bow. :P

an apple a day keeps sadness at bay. :P

an apple. so? masarap yan. hahaha!!! weird yung fusion ng caramel at yung fruitiness ng apple. it's a new experience for me, este, for us pala. hahaha!!!

more apples to come! woohoo!!!

next up: frozen bananas and caramel fondue!!!!
*rawwwwwwwr*

mga kwentong regular bus

Mas masarap yata to ikwento sa tagalog. Hehe.. mga kwentong bus daw o. ayos. Hindi ito yung bus na de aircon ah. Eto yung bus na regular. Yung sinasakyan ng karamihan sa ating hindi gaanong kalakihan ang laman ng bulsa matapos ang isang araw ng pagtatrabaho o kaya’y pag-aaral. Yung sinasakyan ng mga nagtitipid tulad ko kapag malamig naman ang panahon at hindi gaanong brutal at nagpapawis ang aking balat. Eto yung bus ng masa. Eto ang pinakamalapit sa tao, at sya ring pinakanaglalaman ng mga samu’t saring kwento ng pakikibaka, pagtatagumpay at kasiyahan sa gitna ng laganap na kahirapan at paghihikahos dulot ng mga garapal sa itaas at ng mga nagpapatakbo sa kanilang mga banyaga.

Nung igala ko ang tingin ko sa mga pasahero ng bus noong gabing yon, nakita ko ang mga pagmumukha ng mga taong pagod, at kung minsan naman ay, kuntento sa kanilang nagawa ngayong araw. Sila’y mga manggagawa, mga estudyanteng dugyot tulad namin, mga klerk ng department store, mga trabahador sa pabrika at kung anu-ano pang mga samut-saring trabaho. Dito ko naisip na, ito ang realidad ng lipunang ginagalawan ko. Dito rin nagsimulang umagos ang daloy ng inspirasyon na bumalot sa aming dalawa ng aking kasama rin sa bus. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, napagnilayan namin ang aming mga minimithi, mga pangarap at mga gustong makamit pagkatapos mag-aral. Napag-usapan din namin ang realidad ng buhay dito sa pilipinas, mga nakaraang nakakawiling ungkatin tulad ng mga ala-ala nung hayskul, mga nakaraan ng ibang tao, mga ex boyfriend nya, mga taong hindi marunong magbasketbol at ang tatak ng pulitika na umiiral dito sa ating bansa.

Malaking tulong din pala ang paglanghap sa tunay na hangin, mabaho man ito o hindi. Masangsang man ang amoy ng hanging ito o kaya’y mabango, hinding hindi mawawala mula rito ang katangiang ito ay buhay, kabaligtaran ng hangin na lumalabas mula sa bibig ng isang air conditioner, na bagamat malamig ay likhang tao lamang na hindi nagtataglay ng buhay.

Tinanong ako ng aking kasama kung bakit napili kong mag-aral sa UP manila.
Ganito ang nasabi ko sa kanya.

Tignan mong maige ang paligid mo, walang mga puno di ba? Walang lilim, walang proteksyon mula sa kalikasan. Ano ba ang andito sa Maynila? Walang iba kundi ang katotohanan ng mga nangabubuhay dito. Ang kahirapan, ang masangsang na amoy, ang kriminalidad, ang hindi kasiguruhan ng iyong buhay at ang nakakapasong init ay araw-araw na hinaharap ng mga tao rito upang mabuhay pa ng isa pang araw at nang sa gayon ay panatilihing buhay ang kanilang pangarap na kasaganahan. Sa tingin ko’y kapag nalampasan mo ang apat na taong kurso sa peyups maynila ay maari mo nang harapin ang ano mang kalokohan na pwedeng ibato sa iyo ng buhay.

(medyo pinapogi ko yung nasabi ko, pero eto rin naman yung punto nun e. haha.)

delikado ba kamo sa diliman? Subukan mong dumaan sa pedro gil ng gabing gabi. Tignan natin kung di ka masaksak pag napagtripan ka ng mga kumag dun.

Pangarap kong magduktor. Hindi dahil sa pera. Hindi para sa angas. Hindi para sa karangalan. Gusto kong gawing mas mainam ang kalusugan ng mga taong nagkukumahog magtrabaho upang may maipakain sa kanilang sarili. Gusto kong tulungan ang putang nagbebenta ng kanyang laman para lamang mapaaral ang nakababatang kapatid, ang manggagawang sumasali sa kilos protesta upang siguruhin ang kaayusan ng kinabukasan ng kanyang mga anak, ang guro na walang sawang nagbabahagi ng kanyang kaalaman hindi lamang sa kanyang asignatura kundi pati na rin sa kanyang kaalaman ukol sa buhay. Nais kong tulungan ang mga maliliit na mga mamamayang ito, na kahit wala sa upuan ng kapangyarihan ay nakakakita pa rin ng paraan upang makatulong sa pagsasaayos ng lipunang sinira ng patuloy na pananamantala mula sa mga nakakataas. Nais kong tulungan silang maging malusog, nang sa gayon ay mabuhay pa sila ng isa pang araw upang ipaglaban ang kanilang mga paniniwala’t adhikain.

Ito ang kwento ng isang tao na sumakay ng isang regular na bus. Isang tao na kahit papaano ay naisagawa ang mga ipinukpok sa kanya ng kanyang mga propesor sa kolehiyo. Ang taong kahit papaano’y naanalisa ang katotohanang tumambad sa kanyang harapan. Isang taong nag-iisip. Hindi na ignorante. At higit sa lahat, isang taong mulat.

Let's GO UP!!!

*the following are thoughts of someone who has watched his favorite team literally resurrect themselves back from the depths.*

i've always been proud of my school. though i'm not the blabber mouthed, active and engaging student who parades himself/herself as a bona fide member of the UP constituency, i am still, by heart, a true Isko. someone who has lots of stuff to do in my everyday life, yet still manages to squeeze out free time and funds to show my support for the school's team.

yeah i know, we are 0-15 (i think). we suck. we have the worst record in the UAAP standings. i've never seen a team with such a record that sucked. we were supposed to suck anyway, but not by this degree. hell, we're even heckled by people we don't know who relentlessly throw one-liners at us.

"o bigyan nyo na yang mga taga-UP na yan, andami namang panalo ng mga yan e."
"o tatakan mo na yang mga yan, para namang mananalo sila di ba?"

this kind of mediocre verbal attack places them at a level way below what we perceive as standard decency. di ko nga magets e, anlaki yata ng mga problema nila sa eskwelahang pinapasukan ko. di naman sila napasok sa ibang eskwelahan. di naman sila mukhang alumni. mga pangkaraniwang manggagawa naman din sila, na binabayaran yung pag-aaral ko. i really don't get it.

what i do know is, despite of our dubious record which i think no team would ever match, our boys have lived up to our school's name. FIGHTING Maroons.

Yeah, there have been times that the losses were too much to swallow (30+ pts margin in more than 3 games) but the boys showed up to play once more the next game. There were also disheartening losses (like the one in FEU) which would really make you wonder how these boys got up from where they were sleeping on and trod the path towards the gym in the wee hours of the morning or afternoon, while all the time thinking of the bundles of requirements they also have to submit (they’re students like us, you know). Being a varsity member doesn’t mean you’d be excused for slacking, because you’re not.

Yes I know, I’m cutting once more the slack that these boys burden. The high expectations, the bitter taste of loss, the fact that every loss amounts to something more as they pile up and the utter frustration and gloom (thank you Studio 23) they have to suffer everyday.

No, I’m tired of pointing fingers. I’m tired of the politics and the whatnot. Let those who are ambitious enough for their own good deal with such bullshit. Joe Lipa is a good coach. Papa Rod (assistant director for athletic recruitment) wouldn’t be lying to me if he said that they always had great practices. Overall it’s the general willingness of the players which are to blame for this. None of them execute plays, none of them plant screens, none of them sacrifice for the team. Sabi nga nung nakausap kong matandang lalaki (UP Alumnus and probably a former Maroon himself) walang puso maglaro yung mga bata ngayon. I kinda agreed with him. I’ve had enough of the “me-first” attitude and the scorer’s mentality they bring to the floor every time. Why won’t they mold their attitudes to the school’s founding principle? The Oblation means giving oneself for the greater good of humanity. Why won’t these guys sacrifice for the betterment of the team? I really don’t know the answers to that question. I’m leaving space for them to prove me wrong next year. I want to see selfless team basketball. I want to see set plays being run. I want to see players who cut hard receive a good pass, and of course, I want to see them win it all. I’m not rushing. Just win it all while I’m alive. Haha.

Supposedly, this blog was for bashing the players for their selfishness on the court. But something happened that changed my mind. Something that happened for 10 minutes.

T’was the last game for the year, and we were against Adamson. Again, mediocrity set in, and we found our beloved school down by 27 at one point of the game due to stupid turnovers and porous defense. I was already waiting to throw in my version of the white towel, or wave the white flag, or whatever to stop the game and further humiliation of our Alma Mater. But the boys bought in something that was missing for fourteen games: their heart.

Suddenly, stops were made, shots were swat, defenses forced turnovers which led to easy baskets, and a few loose balls chased here and there, and suddenly that huge 27 point summit was whittled down to twelve with 8 minutes left on the 4^th quarter. I’ve never seen Mike Gamboa run like that. It was like he was running for his life, along with his teammates. He celebrated, he jumped for joy with every made basket. I was impressed by Zarlo dela Victoria’s defense on Patrick Cabahug. He shut down his man for almost the whole time he was on the court. Too bad he got victimized by a lot of touchy calls and he got strapped with 4 fouls. I was enthralled by the UP crowd and by the Maroons themselves. For an immaculate period of time, momentum was with us. We cheered and jeered. My voice gave out shouting those chants by the pep squad. For some unknown reason, we truly had something to cheer about our down-with-their-luck team. We were one with them. And there we were, surprisingly alive and well, coming up from the pits of a 27-point deficit. And it was good. Really, really good. I was alive and so were all the people around me. The energy was insane. We all stood up to see what would happen next. It was though we were winning. We lost in the end though. But we kept the score respectable and the game became a thriller at the end. It was a very enjoyable experience. And it made me think of how much I am proud to be a part of the UP experience. The thrill, the heartbreaks, the upsets and the joys. All of those were in that game. Our team gave it all. We gave them our all, and that was all that mattered.

I sang the University hymn with pride and honor. Something I haven’t really done yet until now, and it made me happy.

So, see you boys next year. Hopefully you’d be playing really good team ball by that time.

Sa puso at isipan, MAROON ang aking tangan.
U-niber-sidad ng Pilipinas!
Let’s GO UP!

maroons

i'm a basketball freak. i think everyone whom has come to know me knows that. i live and breathe the game. i'm this guy who could talk about it all day. i play when i have time. i watch basketball shows. i am begging God to please give me cable tv so i could watch basketball games more often. when summer or sembreak comes, i come out every morning and shoot the lights out of our court (ok i admit it, my friends and i have ruined 2 nets because of shooting too much).

so here i am, a basketball crazy guy, wanting to talk about my school's team, the University of the Philippines Fighting Maroons Senior Men's Basketball Team.

i've been watching games of the UAAP since 2002. back then people practically worshipped wesley gonzales and enrico villanueva from Ateneo versus the Mike Cortez and Ren-Ren Ritualo show in La Salle.

now all of the players of then are now in the PBA.

what about me? well, i was watching Jino Ferrer, Toti Almeda, Nestor David, Abi Santos, Jireh Ibanez and Marvin Cruz will my favorite school to win games. really, life is hard for UP. as a fellow Isko, i too am being subjected to arduous torture, freakishly short deadlines, endless activities and terrorist professors every single day. now these guys, well aside from those mentioned above, also worry about team strategy, the Xs and Os, and the big guns of the other schools. they had a coach (whom i cannot remember if it was Lito Vergara or not) who supported them and raised hell whenever they were messing it up at the court. the team was good, but they always came up short to qualify for the Final Four.

fast forward a few years. i am now a junior in UP. i've practically seen it all of what the school can offer. and now what happens to the Maroons? here we are, strapped with a whole bunch of kids who play well individually, but can't play well as a team.

where do we stand right now? we are here, in the lowest of lows. where we can't even look at the eyes of our schoolmates and co-constituents while singing our school hymn.

yes Ateneo alumni, i agree with what the lady on my right said during the ending ceremonies of our little game.

"we don't need your fucking applause."

The Maroons have become a running gag in the UAAP. are we proud to have a 0-13 win-loss record? i don't think so. I think all of us here are freaking tired of losing. Who wants to get used to losing? Not fucking me. Not anyone inside the UP community.

How many times has our beloved team come up short for a win? The closest one was the game with FEU, the team with potential ROY winner Marnel Baracael. We led that game 80% of the time, then we collapsed.

No more excuses. I want a win on Saturday against Adamson. Fuck the politics. Screw the point shaving and the gambling of games. Stop the pointing of the fingers. No one wants this “sweep” of ours. Let us deny Adamson a season 70 sweep. Their only win this season came at our expense. Let us return the favor shall we?

Let me say something that may produce a ring to your ears. The UP Fighting Maroons are good. Really? Yeah, they really are. INDIVIDUALLY that is.

Imagine this, have you seen these guys play a good quarter? Have you seen these guys spill their blood out on the court just to put points across the board? Have you seen them dive for those loose balls? Have you seen them clawing their way through thicker and bigger guys to get offensive rebounds?

I’ve seen them do that, and more. We are, and can actually, able to win games from any school save UE. Oh wait, no I’m taking that one back. WE CAN WIN AGAINST ANY FUCKING SCHOOL IN THE UAAP. PERIOD.

A step behind, a step too slow, a step too late. That has been the case of our players whose feet are too big to move around the court.

I’m cutting the slack for these guys right now, because they are receiving more flak and criticism than they should deserve. Come on haters from our school, stop pointing those fingers at people. What they need from us is our support. Not some dissin and trashtalk from you.

And for the players who represent our school, just hear what I’m going to say to you:

Mike Gamboa – you’re a good guy Mike. Tama yung anak kong si Bea, magaling ka nga. The comparisons to Marvin Cruz are well deserved. If you want the school to win, stop giving the ball to the opposition. Four turnovers a game? How many of those were on errant passes? Come on man, look before you pass. And stop poking the ball. Hindi lahat ng tao masusundutan mo ng bola. Try and play honest defense man. Naiiwan ka lang ng bantay mo pag sundot ka ng sundot e. And try not to force your way into the paint. You don’t want to miss a whole year like Marvin Cruz with an ACL do you? And oh, can you shoot the ball better next year? If you wanna be Marvin Cruz, heed my advice, improve your shot. Remember man, Marvin Cruz is the one you wanna emulate here. Not Japs Cuan.

Migs De Asis – “the assassin” eh? Yeah, for a while in your rookie year, you were. Betcha don’t know what an uncontested shot feels like. Look at your game man, a hand in your face every time you shoot. And in a fadeaway? You’re not Kobe or Michael, come on! Why not try and copy Reggie Miller for one? Make liberal use of screens. Cut fast, and cut hard. You have a big body Migs. Hasn’t it come to you to use that tank like body of yours? Konting gulang pa pare. You’ve managed to floor Chris Tiu last year (my favorite Migs de Asis highlight), certainly you can do it again right? At wag pikon. Man, you are the 1^st player I’ve ever seen draw 2 fouls within 30 seconds. Try to keep your cool.

Woody Co – wow, anlaki mo pala sa personal. And you can shoot man. Really. Ano bang pwede kong sabihin sa yo? Well, the point shaving controversy got me somewhere and I thought, you’re freakin rich pare. Ano yun? Sana di totoo yun di ba? Just play the way you play. Good things come to those who work hard.

Jayfelson Agbayani – pare nakakatuwa ka maglaro. Lakas mo magcut, masipag ka sa depensa, mahilig ka sa ilalim ng ring. Tama yun. A few effective post moves should do the trick. Nestor David material ka tsong, galingan mo pa.

Veejay Serios – along with Martin Reyes and Woody Co, you my man are one of the most productive players in UP. Too bad your unbridled effort goes together with a L. I hope you continue what you do for the years to come. Sana di pa totoo na last year mo na to sa UP. You’re a very vital piece for the Final Four bid.

Martin Reyes – I was blinded by the brilliance of Migs de Asis back in your rookie year, yet now in the long run, you have shown the consistency that everybody loves. Allan Caidic-esque shooting, a fellow lefty jumpshooter like me (ehem) with the length to match. Like what I said earlier, use more screens, cut hard and be aggressive. I’d love to see you going strong to the basket.

Mark Lopez – was I hallucinating? The first time I saw you I thought Jason Castro transferred from PCU to UP. But then it wasn’t the case. You’re built and strong man. The only thing I wished you could have is better ballhandling skills. For me Mark Lopez bringing the ball up court is like a turnover waiting to happen. Don’t let the defenses abuse you man. And don’t overdribble.

For the rest of the UP players whose names I have not mentioned, try to play honest defense and contest shots and deny passes. And make the most of your time on the court.

A special mention to Coach Joe Lipa:

I really don’t know what you are up to, but I hate your player rotation. You see, for me it isn’t good to take out a player who is shooting well on the floor and putting him on the bench to cool off. Really, that’s not good.

On the brighter side, I wonder what would happen if the real you showed up. You know, the former you. The spunky, hot-headed, animated and passionate coach you once were. Obviously, I think you’re not really playing to win right now. You’re not coaxing players to play at their best. This isn’t practice Coach Joe, and if you want us to win, we’re going to need every bit of help we could get. I wonder if you’d still be around next season when the UP Centennial hits. Maybe you have a grand plan for that, but too bad, you were giving up all hope for this season.

You’re the only coach who has gifted us of a UAAP basketball title, and I believe you could do that again next year. But I would have liked you to use this season as a preparation for next year, not as an opportunity for us to be laughed at and bullied around by others.

Thus my rant is now complete. Wooh, haba rin nun a.
Good luck to us all.
U-niber-Sidad ng Pilipinas!
Go! UP FIGHT!

paint the streets with blood red

"GO AHEAD, TELL THE WHOLE STORY MY DEAR."








yun lang. just needed to get it out.
*nnnggggyyyyaaaawwwwwwrrrrrr* >:P

:))

Oh, It is love - Hellogoodbye

Oh, It is love
From the first time I set my eyes upon yours
Thinkin' oh, is it love?

Oh dear
Its been hardly a moment and you are already missed
There is still a bit of your skin that I've yet to have kissed
Oh say "please do not go" but you know oh, you know that I must
Oh say "I love you so" but you know oh, you know you can trust

We'll be holding hands once again
All our broken plans that will mend
I will hold you tight so you know
It is love from the first time I pressed my hand into yours thinkin' oh, is it love?

Oh dear
Its been hardly 3 days yet I long to feel your embrace
There are several days untill I can see your sweet face
Oh say, wouldn't you like to be older and married with me?
Oh say, wouldn't it be nice to know right now that we'll be?
Some day, holding hands in the end
All our broken plans will abend
And I will kiss you soft so you know

It is love
From the first time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin' oh, is it love?
Ohhhh

Your heart may long for a love that is more near
So, when I'm gone these words will be here to ease every fear
and dry up every tear
and make it very clear
I kiss you and I know

It is love from the first time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin' oh, is it love?
Oh, it is love from the first time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin' oh, is it love?

Oh I kiss you and I know it is love
From the first time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin' oh is it love?




_haha. nakyutan sa kanta o. :D

BIOHAZARD!

tis the first week of September and boy, there's a lot going on in my student life.

nakakawindang!!! woohooo!!!

toxic! toxic! toxic!!

for the first time in my whole college life, i am able to use the University jargon when there are many things to do.

at ngayon pa ako naramihan sa gagawin. oh well.

good luck!

poetry topics

sa mga taong wala pa ring topic para sa aming poetry reading (alam nyo kung sino kayo), eto ay mga additional topics na pwede ninyong kunin.

1. terraforming - TAKEN by Mark
2. whaling (i.e. japanese mass whaling) - TAKEN by Ruthy
3. "sensitive" environments
4. extremophiles - TAKEN by Karl
5. Rare Earth hypothesis
6. voluntourism (volunteer work + tourism) - TAKEN by Dana da bertdey girl
7. carrying capacity (in ecosystems) - TAKEN by Riki
8. peak oil
9. "green" power
10. virgin territories

ayan, sinipag kasi ako. sana makatulong! ^_^

maaari lamang pong ilagay sa tag board o kaya magcomment kung kayo po ay kukuha ng topic, para di nakakalito. salamat po ulit!!!!

hindi po kailangang gumawa ng bagong account kung walang blogger account, basta click nyo lang yung comments. hehehe!!! :)

yeba!

as of yesterday, i have signed up to be an online activist for Greenpeace.

yes, somehow within me is an environmentalist waiting to shine. hahaha!! but seriously, consider these simple facts that i have noticed during the past four years:
- since 2003, every succeeding summer has been a hotter one. thus i wonder how hot next summer will be, since we're going to the provinces for our immersion.
- yearly, the water level is going up, so if don't notice, your backyard was actually flooded when monsoon rains came around.
- how about the erratic weather? a long dry spell in july when it's supposed to be raining? what about the hot december we had last year? come on, 8am heat during a 5:30am simbang gabi? definitely not the Christmas i was used to.
- how come we've had these storm-like monsoonal rains when tropical storm Egay never actually hit Manila and Southern Tagalog?

it astounds me, that when we see a clean street, we tend to put our litter there. can't we realize that what we are doing is actually helping in the further deterioration of the Earth? nakakainis yung mga taong tapon na lang ng tapon. parang hindi kayo tao e.

here's something really simple for us to do. kung may makita kayong basura sa harapan nyo, please naman, pakipulot at ilagay sa tamang lugar. don't worry about getting the germs, you could always wash your hands later. and don't even think that a clean-up crew would always be around. for other people's sake, take action by yourself, even just for once. please. its going to go a long, long way.

and another thing, get educated. see what the moronic capitalists do not see. after you get educated, inform other people who do not know.

seriously, we only have a little time left. sana basahin to ng lahat ng taong dadaan man lang dito. dumaan na rin kayo e. salamat.

let us save the Earth. unless you can give me any other planet on which we could live on, please clean up your act. :)

randomness

Tagged!
Instructions: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write on their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog!

My 7 Random Facts/Habits

1. i consider myself mildly autistic

2. i hate storms due to the fact that they bring in noisy rain

3. i am a basketball nut (who doesn't know?)

4. stand-up comedy jokes only work once on me

5. i had the skin of my foot peel off for more than five times

6. i am VERY superstitious

7. i do not have a very good night tonight

Now i tag alpha, jerelle, sunogbaga, migi, ryan, me-ann and chowee

leaning beside the cold, fragile wind

here i am, currently sleepy, listening to sounds from tiny little speakers, writing something in this blank white space.

its literally storming outside, not exactly the weather we had a few hours ago.

the good thing about the storm is, it brings out these billowing, cold winds.
masarap magrelax. masarap gumawa ng wala.

masarap din kapag katabi mo yung taong gusto mong makatabi, sabay inom ng mainit na kape o sipsip ng umuusok na sopas, habang nakatalukbong sa loob ng malaking kumot na pinaghahatian ninyong dalawa. hehehe!!! :)

masarap ang malamig na hangin. makakapagjaket na ako. ayus.

strike me! strike me!

Everything has changed...
Faces stayed the same...

and then... then what?

saaaaarbey!

survey mula kay chrish. astig.

10 years ago...

8yrs. old ako. hahaha!!! tapos wiling wili pa ako sa family computer. adik maglaro ng contra at super mario (kasama si miko, ang aking kababata). mahilig din kami maglaro ni miko ng mga sundalo sa veranda nila. hahaha!!!

5 years ago...

13 ako. kakasimula pa lang ng 2nd year. pinakamasarap na taon ng high school ko.

1 year ago...

2nd year ko ng kolehiyo. enjoy. hahaha!!!! pasok na ako sa dean's list.

5 snacks I enjoy: (at random)

1. siomai
2. pishbol
3. french fries
4. ice cream
5. proven

5 songs I know all the words to:

1. The Happy Birthday song
2. Lupang Hinirang
3. Theme song ng The Simpsons (da da da dada dadada dada dadadada dadadada!)
4. Burnout ng Sugarfree
5. We Love You Father Hannibal (AMP!)

5 things I would do with 100 million dollars:

1. purchase a Mclaren-Mercedes Benz SLR600
2. get a house for myself and my family in Valle Verde or Alabang (whichever they like)
3. buy lots and lots of Nike apparel
4. buy a new SE phone
5. play in the stock market (para naman lumaki. hahaha!!!)

5 places I would run away to:

1. basketball court
2. kwarto ko
3. simbahan (oo, tampulan ko ng problema ang simbahan)
4. rooftop ng bahay namin (para magpahangin)
5. bahay nina lolo

5 pieces of clothing I would never wear:

1. bras
2. ladies' clothing
3. jumpers
4. girly shoes
5. girly accessories

5 bad habits:

1. junk food
2. impulsiveness
3. exaggeration of emotions
4. hindi mareklamo (people don't know what's wrong when i'm sad or angry)
5. indolence (naks)

5 Biggest Joys:

1. buying something that i actually planned to buy
2. Naruto: Shippuden
3. helping people in need
4. Transformers
5. learning something cool (may it be a fact or a skill, doesn't matter)

5 fictional characters I would date:

1. Tsukino Azusagawa - Yakitate! Ja-pan!
2. Eureka - Eureka seveN
3. Rosemary - Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty
4. Himeno Awayuki - Pretear
5. Elhaym Van Houten - Xenogears

sweet dreams

i had a very amusing sunday, with me texting everyone and everyone texting me. my cellphone was ringing (not really, it was in silent mode) non-stop. enjoy magtext ng magtext. hehehe!!!

i was using my cellphone so much that at the end of the day i had to charge it coz the battery was drained.

one really good friend of mine (oh jana ikaw yan. haha) cared to text me with some quotable quotes. seeing that she was alive and had credits to spend made me reply to her texts. as usual, our talk usually revolves around that person. With her getting annoyed and pitying me for my situation and all.

sabi ko naman nakahanap na ako eh, natuwa naman sya. nabigyan pa ako ng EXCELLENT!

as I bid her and my other textmates a good night, I somehow reflected on the fact that I am pretty lucky and blessed in my life today. Kahit papano, may supporting cast pa rin. Yung mga actors nag-iba, but the roles they portray are still the same. Wait, maybe not. Sure there are a few changes and such. Notable, but not drastic.

I slept the night away. Then I had a dream. A dream about her.

God has such a good sense of humor. Just when you thought you actually purged yourself of thinking about the person, yung tipong di mo na muna iisipin kasi pagod ka na, she suddenly reappears.

Ok, not literally. In my case, biglang nagtetext, o kaya magbibida sa panaginip ko. In short, nagpaparamdam. The worst thing is, I get worked up once again. Ginaganahan na naman ako pagkatapos nyang gawin yun. haha..

I don't know if I should be tormented by this. Maybe I'm just happy that I got my hopes restored. haha..

so, after not thinking about her for practically a whole day, she shows up in my dream. well, she was MY dream. nothing else happened. just me, her, and the other high school people.

we were all in a carnival. then there was this ride, which looked like one part of a rollercoaster and only had two seats. it was running on a rollercoaster track with all these twists and turns. the fun part was that it starts as one huge drop. everyone rode at the very top and screamed all the way down as if they were falling.

so there, we all went in and rode at the ride by pair. laftrip pa nga sila e, dapat daw isang lalaki at isang babae. haha e ang konti ng boys nun, kaya naka ilang ulit sila. ako once lang daw sumakay, kaya nilubos ko yung turn ko. hahaha...

i was wishing for divine intervention, that i may be paired up with that person. pero malas lang, ang nakapares nya e yung first love nya. asa pa ako di ba? hahaha.. ayun, pero sabi ko sa sarili ko ok lang, tropa kami nung first love nya e.

at tsaka mukhang masaya naman sya. haha..

pero syempre mas gusto kong ako yung kasama nya di ba? hahaha...
then the strangest thing happened, this friend of mine decided to give up his seat so that i could be the one who goes with that person for the ride.

napatanong ako kung bakit nya gagawin yun. sabi nya nakita nya raw yung pamaypay ko run sa upuan. tinignan ko yung ride, andun nga yung pamaypay kong pink. hahaha..

ayun, sabay kaming umupo. we buckled up, tapos nagstart yung ride. the ride was so fast that we were like falling, sabay kapit naman sya sa akin. haha tuwa naman ako...

then my mouth opened...

"antagal kong hinintay ang pagkakataong ito.."

then she looked at me, and she said..

"ako rin..", then she held me closer. ako naman si opportunista, todo yakap na rin sa kanya.

tapos hinalikan nya pisngi ko..

tapos nagising na ako...

















(haha, walang mapagkwentuhan nung panaginip o. ayokong malimutan yung panaginip e. so i'm saving it here. ^_^ )

anlabo ko talaga.

the idea for this blog come to me when i was strolling down the mall with my bestfriend. after reading the WWE:UNscripted book (a book which suddenly, i am dying to buy), a certain type of inspiration began to dawn upon me. somehow, it is compelling me to write something, something that inspired. something that would uplift someone who is down, agitated, or maybe worn-out with their day-to-day routine.

i wanted to write something that could be a source of comfort, or maybe even inspiration. maybe this would be it.

a few days ago, as i was thinking of what to blog next, i began toying with the idea of finding the philosophical, or maybe inspirational, substructures of my everyday routine. or even my everyday life.

today, i watched a certain movie about a french cooking rat, from which came this strong line:
"you can't change nature son..
but dad, CHANGE IS NATURE."

change. a lot of us fear it. some of us welcome it with open arms. i think the way we perceive change really depends on what it gives us. for example, an unwelcome change would really be worse received than say, a new and interesting hobby, which is a welcome change from the drag of monotonous living.

of course, like everyone else, we want to develop our lives to the fullest and enjoy living them, thus we pray for better changes. but sometimes, or even most of the time, change brings to us a new adversity to overcome. a change of address, displacement from your former habitat, a new character entering the scene, all of these for me account that type of change.

i can't really summarize my life right now. so much is going on. some things go bad, others become good all of a sudden. sometimes i unconsciously aggravate the situation. most of the time though, i come to the conclusion that i don't really know what to do and what i am doing at the present.

there would be days where i pray to the Lord to give me a clean slate. you know, there would come a point in your life when you'd probably say to yourself, "nah, i don't have any problem as of the moment", and then you'd realize that you should be enjoying that point in your life because you don't really know what's going to happen next.

the sad truth about it was, by the time you've realized that you didn't actually relish that point in your lifetime, you've actually been cornered by all the demons of your past.

too late. sorry.

that's how my life has been. its not exciting, but not exactly dull.

this isn't the inspirational crap i was supposed to write, but then again, i don't really have a standard to follow when it comes to all things "motivational'.

it this just a random burst of thoughts caused by venting out the supposed "anger" down another avenue? maybe so. i AM in the mood to write right now. maybe i'm just too happy.

i just wanted to write something that would put a smile into anyone who reads this.

lemme see, i don't like writing long, dragging stuff. i too read blogs, and blogposts which are really long annoy me. c'mon, you're not writing a novel are you? (not referring to anyone. *ehem*)

"do you have a person who you want to be beside with when the world ends?"

i love this question. lucky for me i do have a person in mind. i think having someone who you treat to that regard is kind of like setting a long-term goal. and long-term goals need a lot of work and time to be achieved. its like earning your first million. its like graduating from your dream course. its like buying your first car, or maybe having your first child.

there's nothing more rewarding than planning ahead and watching your plans come to life the way you imagined it to be. take it from me. i've gone that far into my life.

there came a time where i really couldn't wish for anything more. i had that person. then everything else followed. everyday i wake up, i thanked the Lord that i had that person. Otherwise, i wouldn't enjoy my life as it is.

i would not love anyone else the way i had loved her.

there, i said it. its the clincher. the answer to a question that sometimes i find myself asking. would i find someone better than her? maybe. but then that isn't her. it's definitely not the same. i get annoyed with people looking for others expecting them to give the kind of experience they have had before. that's pushing it too much. every person is unique. and i believe each and every one of us has that person.

the only difference would be the rate in which we accept the fact that he/she is that person.

then comes the hard part, getting him/her to believe... to believe that he/she is that person.
is this a blog of true love? maybe so. or maybe this is just one of the musings of someone who has really nothing much to do and is getting bored to death.

my left index finger hurts. anyway,

its the believing part that's hard to do. that's where most of the hard work goes.

there was a time when my person believed in what i was saying. but then again, maybe she came to her senses. maybe she'd seen enough. maybe i was just one of the jerks who schemed in breaking her fragile heart.

i dunno. really. i've paused looking for answers, relying on the assumption that the answers would come to me one day. or maybe, one day we could be back together again.

it's really confusing, when you don't want to let go of someone who you truly loved, although that someone sees you as nothing more. nothing more than, nah, you already know what i'm talking about.


what's on my mind today:
50% school, 50% random whatnots.


i should finish it here, coz i don't really know what i've been talking about.

AWESOME BIRTHDAY!!

very awesome birthday!!!

- libreng pancit canton c/o Ate Susan ng GAB canteen
- regalong condom mula kina Karl at Enrique at Mark
- regalong tshirt mula sa bespren ko, at isang nakakaantig na sulat!
- masayang tambay sa KFC kasama ang siomai kidz at arianne pusit!
- punta ng greenhills by bus
- libot sa virra mall
- maligaw at mag-enjoy sa fully booked
- magwaldas ng pera (money well spent)
- maghanap ng tshirt ^____^
- kumain ng yellowcab (wooohoo!)
- bumili ng Starscream ng Transformers! (katuparan ng pangarap!)
- makatanggap ng maraming bati mula sa maraming tao!
- magsaya
- mag-enjoy
- magpasalamat sa Diyos
- namnamin ang biyaya

wala man lang akong nakuhang pera mula kina mama. takteng yan. ayus lang. buti may ipon ako. wahehehe!!!!

I LOVE MY BESTFRIEND SO MUCH!!!! ^_________^

and to all the people who have greeted me in their special ways, thanks so much and i love you all!!!!


wooohoooo!!!

*balik na ulit sa paglalaro ng Transformers nya*

YEHEY!

post number 71!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!!!!


^________^

blog meme 2: 7 strange and random things about me!

once again i am tagged by my homeboy chrish (wassup pare!) and now i begin my:

7 weird and strange things about me! (drum roll please)

1. when i was young, i loved to play a lot around our outdoor clothes hanger. ginagawa kong monkey bars and stuff. plus i made a lot of mannerisms with my hands (chronically jerking out and stuff like that)

2. because i made a lot of mannerisms out with my hands and i talked to myself a lot, my mother thought i was autistic.

3. i am allergic to tobacco and alcohol. which makes me a perfect excuse not to drink and smoke.

4. i absolutely cannot sleep without my favorite hotdog-shaped pillow.

5. i do not get aroused by porn anymore. siguro namanhid na ako sa sobrang panonood. :)

6. i am a naturally crazy capitalist. sa tagalog, kuripot!

7. i hate overly hyped and overly mainstream stuff. (may it be music or clothing)

and thus ends my blog meme. now i am tagging chowee (bespren! kaya mo to!) and jana. :)

miss ko na sya

MISS NA MISS KO NA SIYA.

*sad*

busog

i had an enjoyable weekend. :)

saturday:
the wind blew us off to alabang, kung saan kami iniwan ni justine (iniwan daw namin sya.. teka, panu namin maiiwan ang taong mabilis maglakad na nasa harapan namin?? haha!)

it took about an hour before we knew where we are. haha although that was an exaggeration, because we didn't get lost (thankfully), but it took an hour before mark reached us. we were already desperate. no food. no money. everyone else around us enjoying their food (sa loob kami ng jollibee naghintay), everyone NOT hungry. haha.

but of course, we were redeemed as our gracious host (mark's mom) fed us till we were fat. yeah there was lots of food going around and lying around. delicious food indeed. sabi nga ni karl, masarap daw spaghetti kina mark. ayun, soundtrip, gawa ng presentation, brainstorming, laro, nood ng matrix revolutions, tignan at mamangha sa mga retro pix ni mark, lokohan, tawanan, at kung anu-ano pa.

by 6:30pm we hied off mark's house to move to our house for the overnight (ayaw sumama ni mark malandi kasi. haha!)

loko rin yung jeepney driver na nasakyan namin pauwi, 7 na lang daw imbes na 10 yung bayad kasi pauwi na sya. ayus tipid pa.

pagkauwi ng bahay at 8pm, ligo agad kami sa sobrang init, tapos nood ng the simpsons hanggang 10 tapos gumawa na ulit kami.

sunday: (sunday na kasi 12am na to e)
after hours of bickering, we managed to finish around 65% of what has to be done. :)

sa kabagutan, sinubukan naming mag install ng dota. ayun nadiscover namin na yung cd na pinahiram ni mark ay may bonus 3rd disc:

barely legal #16

ayus. tawa kami ng tawa.

ayoko na, tinatamad na ako magkwento. basta enjoy yung unang beses na maghost ako ng overnight session sa bahay. andami daming pagkain. haha apaw yung coke (bakit kaya?) at busog kami palagi.

one of the rare days that i didn't find myself hungry. we had a good time. haha!!

dota na to ulit. hahahaha!!!!

ayus karl! ayus riki! sa uulitin!

circles

its all going round and round right now.
suddenly it becomes cyclical. but then again, that would be alright. since repetition ultimately leads to the "getting used to it" feeling. it would be ok with just that. magandang balita nga siguro yun.

my bestfriend is happy. again, that comes first.

i'm loving the days right now. i've met and have become close with the other people who exist around me. its become fun reaching out to people who like to help. its a great feeling, really.

the dependency stops here. i've mixed it up, and frankly, i think i'm doing well at this.

gone will be the monotonous whining and musings of someone who is seen as overdependent to a single person. it's gonna be replaced by a feeling of relief, of support, of enjoying company of other people no matter how far they are.

this day was really tiring. just had this killer exam which had me almost brain dead. almost had an X mark put beside my name because we were the second to the last ones to answer a question correctly.

i love it when the pressure mounts. when everybody expects me to fall flat on my face. that's where i excel. i love proving people wrong.

when the odds are stacked against me, i bring out my "A" game. i love seeing the disappointment on people's faces when they see me triumph.

take that you bastards! haha!!!

again, thanks to all the people who made me happy right now. i love you all!!

the faltering shadow of regret

note to self: never try to look at things which may induce indolence. (speaking of which, we have an exam about indolence tomorrow.)

- pictures
- comments
- wallpapers
- drawings
- gifts
- progress

yeah anything which can be really, really annoying and can make me really, really lazy.

it is very bad to think a lot. right now it also is very troublesome to think ahead. a really big problem for me.

nakakainis. haha. wala na tayong magagawa, ensconced na yung tao e. it would just be a matter of time. and it was all my fault. oh well, at least the little person is happy. ayus na yun.

yeah i missed bonding with my bestfriend. ok na yun. mabuti na yung lam nyang may pakialam ako.

so much for a great day. but a good day nevertheless.

happy beshie day to me.. and to my bestfriend.

best wishes na rin. haha..

my blog meme!

I have been tagged by my homeboy adrian. (haha) Blog meme raw ang title. Nice.

1. Food you hate--> lemme see, ayoko ng dinuguan. kasi dugo yun. haha! i also don't like the innards of chicken and pork. sa streetfood ayoko ng betamax at isaw (yung isaw kasi naexpose sa isang show dati, kadiri talaga). basically yun lang. anything else kinakain ko. hahaha!!!

2. Fruits that you hate--> durian. the one and only durian. ambaho kasi!

3.Veggies that you hate--> talong. kadiri ang talong. tsaka okra. come on, sino ang nakain ng tinaguriang "gummy veggie"? kahit anong sabihin ng "makulay ang buhay sa sinabawang gulay" hinding-hindi pa rin ako kakain ng talong at okra!!!

4. Celebrities or People you hate--> for me it's wrong to unjustly hate people. but one of the worst traits that people are prone to having is that they can be very inconsistent with what they say. they make you believe in this and that but in ultimately in the end they resort to the opposite. i really hate that when it happens. as for celebrities, i pretty much hate them all. they're like, you know, publicity whores and stuff, masyadong papansin na kasi minsan e. gagawa ng kahit ano para lang matsismis.

5. Events/incidents/situations you hate--> hmmm, awkward moments would be one. then there's when people discover something that i hid a long time ago. other than that, hmmm, traffic would be one. then power shortages would be another. then there's failure. really, i curse when i fail. plus it makes me look bad. haha!

6. TV shows or movies that you hate--> I HATE KOREANOVELAS. PERIOD. oh, and of course any other show imported from the ASEAN region + Taiwan and China.

7. Type of Music that you hate--> bands with either singers that suck, too overrated, victimized by the mass media, and are popular. oh, plus the ones that the posers love. (which in a short list off my head may include the likes of callalily, 6CM, bamboo and the like. although i love bamboo.)

8. Household chores that you hate --> hmmm, nah i don't have a specific chore i loathe upon. maybe it would be feeding the birds of my mother. (why do i have the responsibility to do this? i wasn't the one who brought the f*%)ng bird.

9. Things you hate about the world--> capitalism. imperialism. neo-colonialism. end of story.

10. Things that you hate about yourself--> me being impulsive. yeah that would be it. i've gone and hurt a lot of people using that. then there's my lack of self-esteem.

"if were to be reborn again, i'd like to be one with a little more self-esteem, so i could tell the person i had loved everything.." - Anemone




next up: Vinch, Joanne and Kate!!

12 days before

it would be 12 days before my birthday.
tomorrow marks the 22nd month that i have a bestfriend
it has been three months since her birthday (and i hope she remembers mine)

suddenly i have had the urge to blog everyday. maybe it's what keeps me sane through the days.
speaking of days, here's my favorite part of the song Days:

The promise that we made on that day has broken and scattered
Pieces of passionate and short lived memories
Even if i wake up from the dream that we've both had
I won't forget these feelings, ever
The days of my memories shine down on this moment

haha very japanese indeed, but it still hits me really hard. since the song actually reminds me a lot of the thoughts i have when i think of her.

BTW, Days is the first opening song of Eureka Seven. (again, a must watch if you love anime)

So there, maybe i'll have another blog before the day ends. i am hoping that this day would be eventful. :)

what? i can smile already? nice!

so today i have started to blog about my day, which was good.

wasn't able to use the pc due to other people who also have other needs to be meet by the trusty pc.

*oh don't worry my pc, i am going to get new a cool 80gb hard drive with a cool 1gb of ddr ram*

so as i am typing this, i have no music other than the screeching rat lurking behind me. i am annoyed by rats. death to all rats. they are dirty, little, promiscuous vermin ready to chew on anything. really, really troublesome bastards.

i am not in the mood of ranting right now. well, apparently there is nothing to rant on, and plus, i bought a lot of stuff today.

*nah, di ako maniniwalang yun lang ang pa-birthday sa akin*

maswerte pala talaga pag malapit na ang bday mo, tapos sale sa mall. dami ko tuloy nabili. wahahaha!!!

now i know the sense of shopping. pero yung shopping ko dapat talaga binibili. hahaha!!!

i actually bought a whole new outfit from top to bottom. which was nice.
really had a great day today. my cell was ringing always. had a lot of people to talk to. really, a reverse of what monday was like.

thank the Lord... salamat po!!!!

i'm not using the georgia font since it ruins my blog style. maybe i'm gonna revert it to arial after i publish this.

again, a boatload of thanks to moogie, bea, maple, mark, riki, karl, and even jerelle.
nice batch of people you know. really nice. :)

it won't be soon before long

for a change i am using the georgia font of blogger.

in a conversation i had with my friends, i had learned that the georgia font is small, like, really small. so if you hate writing, well, don't even go near it. let's see how this test run works.

i've relegated myself to using the arial font, which is rather basic and then a little big than TNR. but that's alright.

i love my skin. haha dual mode skin for me. i can adjust it to a naruto style or a eureka seven style. nice.

again, if you love anime, watch eureka seven. you'd thank me later.

what went down today:
- spent a lot of time in the computer
- went to Greenbelt, got a taste of the Ice Brownie Fudge of Seattle's Best, and got converted to Seattle's Best. Yes, Seattle's Best. I boycott Starbs.
- got some cash from my ninang because my birthday is coming up
- thought of things to do on my birthday (article number one: watch the simpsons movie)
- hope that somehow i will enjoy my birthday
- hope that i have a lot of money
- tried to remember the tone of the "uwian na" theme song from my elementary days
- oh, time first and time out literally meant the same when i was young (ack! does that mean i am old?)
- second thing to do on my birthday: buy the new Yellowcard cd
- started to download the complete soundtrack of Eureka Seven which hypnotizes me until now
- hopefully cousin anna drops by our lolo's house so i can pick up my brand new nike shirt. (oh yes! after almost a year! i actually bought a new one! why are these expensive?! screw the capitalists!)
- realized that Shonen Heart (E7 2nd opening song) actually reminds me of swimming and beaches
- tried once again to patch things up with a certain someone
- not yet sleepy
- printed my classmate's paper
- wrote mine in less than an hour
- had a good talk with my bestfriend
- was happy that my bestfriend went home safe after what transpired
- noticed that i have had a blog for almost every day this week (this is what happens when i am sad)
- thinking of setting up a Playstation 2 fund (or even a PS3 fund for that matter)
- choices choices choices: Metal Gear Solid 4 or Valkyrie Profile 2?
- Bourne Ultimatum will be shown in August!!!!! oh the joy!!!!!
- noticed that my beloved phone's keypad is really, really scratched up (which up to now i do not have any idea why. i don't even have long fingernails)
- thinking of replacing said keypad
- and other things i have forgotten already (so much for memory enhancers)

my birthday would be exactly two weeks from now. 14 days. a lot could happen. yeah, i'd love that. i'm gonna try to make things happen. let's see.

tapos na ang birthday ng anak ko. haha..

i hafta sleep right now. ako maghahatid sa aking kapatid mamayang 6:30am. nice.

say goodbye and fall in love...

argh the anime series that has been my life support these past days had its encore run come to an end a few minutes ago.

poor me.

eureka seven was so good i had to watch it TWICE. damn...

a mesmerizing soundtrack, an unforgettable cast, a wacky story and lots and lots of action make up the series.

not bad really, when the series won various "Anime Show of the Year" and "Best Anime Series on DVD" for two years in a row.

yes, i will uphold it with dignity, Eureka Seven is the definitive Bones Animation masterpiece. they made the series from the ground up, starting from conceptualization, up to the manga series, then the tv series.

i never had this feeling of loss since Naruto went unto the dreaded "filler" year of theirs. it was a great loss really.

watching eureka seven was like watching a mash up of Romeo and Juliet and Transformers. With all the action going on, you'd still get the fantastic love story involved.

Yeah i say its fantastic because i could relate damn well to the show's main protagonist, Renton Thurston (although we are not of the same age).

Yup, i do have my own Eureka, and i wouldn't let her go bye-bye on me won't i? haha..

such a fantastic and engrossing series. haha and for 50 episodes, it doesn't eat up a lot of your time.

i do hope that the rumors are true about Bones Animation making the Eureka Seven movie for 2008. that would be bliss.

too bad for me, i don't have anything to watch anymore. nothing more to be thrilled with. nothing more to help me through the rainy days.

up next for me: maybe bleach (although i promised myself that i wouldn't watch it) or samurai champloo.

Full Metal Alchemist and Eureka Seven. Both from Bones Animation. Both are a must watch.

another ordinary morning

Yesterday I made a pathetic attempt to change my blog skin. but alas i am not that good in html (which confuses the hell out of me) and i reverted back to my original skin. my bestfriend was the one who set up my blog (kudos to her and her computer skills) and right now she is unavailable. poor me.

had a very bad dream last night. i'm not into telling it, its just that. a very bad dream.

i am thankful right now because i have a lot of things going on in my life today. suddenly i am brought back to the action by my "anak". dangkulit kasi e. haha pero ok lang.

happy birthday anak!

ahhh its friday the 13th today. already i am in bad luck since, i had my first brace adjustment yesterday. bad luck because, me and my mom are going with my tita to eat dinner in makati. damn!!! i won't be able to eat again!!! pakshet!!!! this marks the second time i wasn't able to eat. poor me.

our attending dentist was really good looking. haha kaya ok lang sa akin magpadentista kahit araw-araw. wahahaha!!!! pag sya yung natingin sa akin, feeling ko di ako mamamatay. hahahaha!!!!

i only eat two things right now when i am at school.
- mcspaghetti
- mcdonald's hot fudge ice cream

ahh this is the life. and i am losing weight right now. which is good. finally!!!!! hahaha!!! i am in the process of getting rid of my belly. haha!!

what do i do today? hmmm maybe talk to some people and play. and that's it.

i've already changed my blog title. so yes a change in blogskin is inevitable. :)

oh, i'm taking that back... i've just edited a couple of things in my skin. haha.. i am soo content with my current skin right now. :)

patatas

ahh this is a very normal day. i slept around 3am and woke up at 6:30am! nooooooo!!!

but of course i dragged my behind towards my sister's room and there i slept for another one and a half hour. that was good enough for me.

no school for me today. really nice. although its already past 3pm and the only thing i did besides waking up was play and eat. oh, and the eating didn't even last that long.

i ate a really, really good lunch today. on the menu was beef with onions and my favorite marble patatas. oh yes. the best damn finger food since the french fries. marble potatoes are those cute, little potatoes that you can pick with your fingers. yeah, i love them. lalo na pag gisado sa mantikilya at olive oil. mmmmmmmm... masarap yun!!!

so far, i am happy today. nothing has happened to piss me off today. or i wish there wasn't. the day's still at large and anything could happen.

i wish to thank all of the people last night. yeah, the ones who were with me in spirit. its not what you think.. they're not dead, but still they reached out, whether thru text or through chat and other means, which was good. and i wasn't so lonely anymore. it really means a lot to me you people. and i want you to know that everything you have done since last night has been truly appreciated. and i am grateful.

thank you anak. thank you moogie. thank you na rin kay alpha. haha pwede na akong magsaya ulit dahil sa inyo. maraming salamat talaga. :)

and i wish i have a happy birthday this year. oh, ok, that's not it. just a pleasant and enjoyable one would be nice. a day spent with all the people i love. that's probably it.

running

tonight, going home, i ran for my life....

yeah, i ran, ran as fast as i could. as fast as my two legs would allow me to. run away. run fast. tried to escape reality. miserably failed.

anyway, before that, i wanted to talk about my day.

it was a good day actually. and it all started way back in the morning, in the bus as i was on my way to school. it is because of this event that i decided to blog right now.

there was this middle aged man and this girl who probably looked like someone who studies in college. they sat beside each other on the 2-seater side of the bus. By no means were they related. They looked like people who, early in the morning, were thinking about what would happen to their own days today. They had their own lives to worry about.

The bus rambled on to Taft. There, as the bus halted in front of the stop light, the lady stood up to get off the bus. Then she unknowingly dropped her handkerchief.

Enter the middle-aged man. First he tried calling the lady's attention, but alas he failed. He then left the handkerchief on his left side where the lady once sat beside him. Then suddenly, he stood up, got off the bus and chased down the lady who was already on the other side of the street, and gave her the lost hanky.

It was like watching a scene ripped off a movie. I was like, "man, unbelieveable. if only other men were like that." And the street where the bus stopped was at Nakpil, near PWU. I believe the man paid fare for the Plaza Lawton station. Could you believe that? Unreal.

I would like to meet that man again. I'd introduce myself, shake his hand and say, "Nice move pare! Answabe mo!". Haha really, you don't get to see people like that often.

it was a great start to a day. too bad it sucked in the ending. pathetic little people. oh well...

let me borrow words from an old friend of mine. I'm trying to run away from the goons stalking me right now. Well that's the only option i have right now, since all of the places i have thought of hiding are already exhausted. hay, buhay nga naman.

di bale, masaya naman sya e. haha bullshit. conceited little people. oh well, minsan lang daw ako malungkot, lubusin ko na. at tae talagang itatapat pa sa birthday ko. hahahaha!!!

i had a great day, then i ran away at the end. :(

addiction

67%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

Mingle² - Online Dating

nah. not that addicted to blogging. just wanted to write something.

Bruised

maybe i'm lucky. no one ever goes to my blog now i have my own multiply site. great.

so this online space i have right now suddenly becomes a private one. haha. exactly what i need right now. especially with all the shit going on in my life.

we have no classes today. goodie. means i don't have to see certain people. haha. i hate seeing people happy at my expense. that's crap. it annoys me very much. oh well, so much for being in hatred with annoyances.

currently pouring myself out on Coldplay, Jack's Mannequin, Aqualung and Ben Folds Five. Its nice getting lost amidst the melodies of the piano and the various guitar distortions. Its a brief escape from my bullish life right now. Yeah i need a lot of escapisms especially now. Now that i'm alone. And now that somebody else is happy to my detriment.

A few days ago I read Kuya Darcy's paper (he studies Lit in DLSU) about poetry. He talks about us humans being gods in some respect because of the feelings we can interject through playing with the words within poetry. Songs are basically the same since they are also poems, but with sounds. The best ones know how to toy with what we feel and then amplify it through beautiful instrumentation. Yeah i agree with Kuya Darcy, we are Gods.

Everyday gets harder. I drag myself out of the bed. I stare at my phone and its time screensaver. No one bothers to communicate with me. That's fine. Maybe the one that even tries to communicate was the last one i would talk to. Could someone other than her text me? haha maybe not.

i recently had all of these really cranky thoughts running through my head. oh they were nothing much, but i guess they were bad so that i wouldn't have to do it. i hate doing bad things.

thoroughly enjoying valkyrie profile right now. maybe i ought to buy the ps2 and play the 2nd game (valkyrie profile 2: silmeria), which was hailed the "most beautiful" game for the ps2. yeah, i'm gonna buy myself a ps2. hahaha. so i can forget about all the bullshit i have and immerse myself on other things.

maybe i should join an org in school. so i can meet other people. yeah, that would be good.

my birthday's comin up. hopefully if i can just get a greeting from a certain someone and my family, then it would be nice. i won't expect anything after that. i'll just get my birthday money and move on with my life.

although that birthday would mark the 2nd time i was truly sad.

i'd like to see rain pouring down a big glass window. kind of makes a miniature waterfall. that's a good thing to watch right now. with my current condition i can watch it the whole day.

i should thank people right now. i am sad. and now my ability to write has come out again. cool!

one hundred percent karma

naturally, i am a strong believer of karma. you know, the good and the bad ones.

i think i can credit all of my superstitious beliefs to the upbringing of my mom. yeah i believe in a lot of weird things (your feng-shui or what not) and yes, they do have a great effect in my life.

so, right now, i have all my bad karma being skewed up my ass. poor me. this is what i get for choosing. this is what i get for sowing seeds which i know will come and stab me someday. too bad someday came pretty fast.

this is much worse than it was in my 4th year high school.

i am running out of places to hide.

anyway, i'm not going to make this long. i'm just, not in the mood right now to be happy. maybe one of these days i'm gonna find someone who can put up with the bullshit i have right now.

and i am praying that whoever that will be, come down here pretty please? i am genuinely running out of time, of things to do, of people i can talk to, generally, i am all alone right now.

yeah i hate crowded people and stuff like that, but that doesn't mean i'm a loner. somehow i can find myself content with one person. too bad i have NONE right now. *sob*

can someone please approach me and say something nice to me?

maybe this is what happens if you don't have many friends.
hey, maybe i have friends, but nah, i'm not gonna fall on my knees and beg someone to talk to me. not like that. i did that yesterday and i felt all pathetic and shit.

everything comes with a price. and some people don't accept that. good for them.

to them, everything can be had if they wanted to, selfish little people. why don't they stop for a minute and take a look around them. i hope they can see the people they have hurt whether they liked to or not.

its been a while since i've written crap like this. yeah, its been a while since i had that putrid, disgusting feeling within me. all this crap makes me puke. but hey, i'm not a puker you know.

i hope i can conquer this bullshit with a proper mindset. you know, just convince yourself that everything is gonna pass. but nah, i can't subscribe to that. i've been through too much bullshit to know what it feels like to wait for nothing.

the weather now is cold and stormy. nice. it fits my life situation well.

i can't wait for it to rain when i go home from school. not the hard rain, just the one loud enough to be noticed but not violent enough to get me wet. when that happens i'm gonna pull out my umbrella and start walking. after that i'll just pray hard that something may fall down from the sky and hit me in the head so i can think straight.

let me say this. its bullshit to say that you love someone when you really know that you love somebody else.





"once upon a time, i had a bestfriend. we weren't your normal bestfriends mind you. then my bestfriend found herself a prince...

and they lived happily ever after. the end."











my name is rc fajardo. and my life is bullshit right now.

hmmmm

regret.

what is it? for me it is something which haunts us every day of our lives. we all make mistakes. and regret is a constant reminder that, we could have made or could have done something different with the situation.

kawawa naman ang bespren ko. she's stuck with me.

oh well.

balance

numb.

its a point people reach when they get used to certain situations and feelings, like suffering. You don't suffer your whole life. It just gets to the point where you get used to it, and finally, find solace or consolation amidst the pain.

i've reached the that point a long time ago. i'm not implying that i AM like that today, but i can assure you, i am on the way.

looking at what i have today from a 3rd person perspective, I found myself in a very familiar situation, although the roles got mixed up a little. i really have no idea how this is gonna conclude, but i am HATING EVERY SECOND OF IT.

"ayoko nang maulit pa, ang nakaraang ayokong maalala.."

bow.

screw me

screw me because i am weak
screw me because i am indecisive
screw me because i am selfish
screw me because i am afraid
screw me because i cannot stand up for what my heart says
screw me because i do not know what to do
screw me because i am immature
screw me because i have not learned my lessons...

and screw me for everything more... for everything i am... for everything i have failed to do...

screw me.

randomssssss

- nainspire ako na gumawa ng ganito kasi yung prof ko gumawa ng ganito sa blog nya. hahaha!!!
- nagkakaabs na pala ako. gawa ito marahil ng pagbabasketbol araw araw.
- mainit, mainit, at mainit!!
- talo cleveland nakakainis, pero ok lang, hahahaha!!!
- lapit na ulit magpasukan. kinakabahan ako. sumali na kaya ako sa org ngayong taon? haha!!
- ayoko ng sked ko, well, yung wed lang naman. hahaha!!!
- maraming magagandang pelikula ngayong 2007 (transformers, pirates, fantastic 4, shrek)
- masarap ang dsl, kaso boring kapag di mo nagagamit. di mo na alam pag gagamitan mo. hahaha!!!
- nahawa na ako sa bestfriend ko, mahilig na rin ako sa classical music ngayon.
- mahal na mahal ko bestfriend ko.
- lab na lab ko bestfriend ko. hahaha!!!
- may blog pa dapat akong gagawin pero, sa susunod na lang yun. yung 6 weird things chuvaness nila.
- ako;y nag-iisip kung gagawa ako ng multiply site. lahat kasi ng tao may multiply site na.
- maganda ba talaga ang boracay? lahat kasi ng tao todo post ng picture nila pag nasa boracay sila e. weird mas maganda naman sa puerto prinsesa at sa la union.
- di ko pa rin mabago yung kulay ng photo captions ko sa friendster.
- may pinagagawa na kaagad sa amin kahit di pa pasukan. mga prof sa amin talaga napakasabik!!!
- masarap ang may pasok. pasok=baon=pera

sana..

hooray for my 50th blog post!!!!

*palakpakan naman dyan!*

i suddenly discovered myself.. kasi maraming nangyari.
things like,
- napakamoody ko pala pag malungkot
- na kahit papano, marunong din pala akong masaktan, kala ko kasi ang kaya ko na lang gawin ngayon e manakit ng tao
- haha totoo pala na ang karma doble ang balik sa yo. *wa*

ano ba naaalala ko rito, hmmm, 4th year siguro. haha oh well kasalanan ko naman e. panindigan na lang natin. let us abide to the decisions of the authorities. hahaha....

sige kaya nyo yan. manonood na lang ako.

meron namang mag-aalaga sa yo o, ano pa papel ko sa buhay mo?

*broken hearted*

NBA FINALS NA!

nba finals na!!

rise up Lebron!!! rise up!!!!

yun lang...

bored

bored
bored
bored
bored
bored...

ala pa rin dsl namin, takteng yan. gusto ko na ng dsl! please naman!!!

ano pa ba, may papayuhan lang ako.

payo no.1: wag magpapa attach. kasi mahirap magdetach.
payo no.2: mahirap na pag na joketime ka. yari ka boy! nyahahaha!!!
payo no.3: mahirap yung ginagawa namin ngayon.
payo no.4: marami kami. hahaha!!!

at payo no.5: andito lang kami. lalo na ako.

kanta ko para sa yo: broken in silence (piano version) - silent sanctuary

ok ba? part 2 naman!

-part 2-

ikaw. miss na kita. hehe. tuwing nagtetext ka natutuwa ako. bigla kasi. haha. kahit papano pala buhay pa ako para sa yo. isa pa, salamat sa pag uukol ng kakarampot na oras mo para itext ko. kahit sandali lang yun masaya na ako na nakakausap kita. hehehehe..

as usual, mahal pa rin kita. di naman na nagbago yun e.

kate at jana, penge medal!!! hahahaha!!!! kailangan ko na ng loyalty award. hahahaha!!!

ingat ka lagi. good luck sa 3rd year mo.

galit na blog. hahaha!!!

OO GALIT AKO!! HAHAHA!!!

masama pala akong magalit. OA na sadista na di maintindihan. ngayon lang ako nagalit ng ganito. ngayon lang din ako nagkaroon ng ganito kalaking sama ng loob sa isang tao.

salamat sa yo.

oo, ikaw!! ikaw!!! kilala mo kung sino ka!!! hahaha!!! ikaw na walang konsiderasyon, ikaw na walang pakundangan sa mga pinag-gagawa mo sa buhay mo. hahaha ikaw!!! ikaw na nagpaiyak sa akin sa sobrang sama ng loob. oo ikaw yun.

itaga mo sa bato, masama ang loob ko ngayon. hahaha!!! ano bang pwede kong gawin sa yo ngayon? di ko alam. tinamatad akong mag isip...

o, masaya ka dapat ngayong araw na to!! nakita mo yung taong gusto mong makita!! AT HINDI AKO YUN!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

di ko alam, parang ansarap pumatay ng tao ngayon. ang sarap sarap. para lang marelease tong tension ko sa katawan. para akong si hisoka. hahaha!!! sana malakas din ako, para isang daliri lang ipampapatay ko. hahaha!!!

kahit papano pala may namana ako sa tatay ko.. yung pagiging tahimik. kaso, yung akin, tahimik lang pag may problema. hahaha!!! siguro masama yun, kasi mahirap ayusin kaagad yun. hahaha!!! kasi di alam nung tao na may problema ako sa kanya. hahaha!!!

ah oo nga pala, ako yung nang-gagago. HINDI IKAW!! HAHAHAHA!!! HINDI IKAAAAAAW!!!!!

ngayon lang ako nagalit ng ganito. hahaha!!!

(kasi nga, may mga bagay na di dapat pinapahawak sa ibang tao. di ba? respeto naman. hahaha!!! kaso wala e. hahaha!!! nadala ng bugso ng damdamin!!! ayun!!! hahaha!!!)

at walang halong malisya yung mga iniisip naming pinag gagawa nyo. hahaha!!! bakit? porke manyak ang pag iisip ko yun kaagad lalabas dahil nag isip ako? hahaha tigas mo talaga!!!! wag mo nga akong itulad sa yo. di tayo pareho mag isip no. naooverestimate nga kita e. hahaha!!!

pasalamat ka may mga taong katulad ni _____ at ni _____. haha kahit papaano uplifting sila. hahaha!!!!

lakas pala trip ko pag galit ako. yaan nyo na MINSANAN na lang to. hahaha!!!

tama na nga, baka may tamaan dyan e. hahahaha!!!! scrabble na lang tayo!! ano? game!!! hahaha!!!! asa! di ako mananalo sa mga taong katulad mo. hahahaha!!!

ika nga ng isang comersyal ng gobyerno, WAG TAYONG MAGPAGAGO!! Hahahaha!!!!

hoooo, ayan relaxed na ako. hahaha!!!

BASAHIN MO TO!! BASAHIN AT INTINDIHIN!! MAGKAKAROON TAYO NG MAIKLING PAGSUSULIT SA SUSUNOD NA PAGKIKITA!! nyahahaha!!!

ayan, finished!! ^_^

masquerades in full swing

maraming taong nahihirapang magkunwari. isa na ako run.

we all wear masks, either right now, or when we face our friends, or when we go out. We all wear masks. Sometimes masks fail, but then again the sense of concealment they give is enough security for people who don't want to expose themselves.

sa tuwing uuwi na lang, nahuhubad ng kusa ang maskarang sa aking mukha'y nakatapal nang parang mantel sa ibabaw ng lamesa. wahahaha!!!

heeeeeeeere she comes!! sunburn!!! matatapos na ang summer, dapat sulitin!!! haha!!!

damn ala akong pera.. wawa naman ako....

masarap magmahal, hehehe!!!

salamat sa panlilibre ni kate at jolo sa gateway nung miyerkules!!! yehey!!!! sa uulitin!!!!

nagugutom na ako, ala pa nanay ko... sheesh alang ulam!!!! waaaaaah!!!!!!

isa na lang, isang hirit pa. hahaha!!!! kailangang ilabas ko to baka kasi maging utot na lang to na walang kabuluhan at walang ibig sabihin....

may mga bagay kasing hindi dapat pinapahawak sa ibang tao.
tulad ng sanitary napkin. hahahaha!!!!

MAGKAKA DSL NA KAMI!!! YEHEY!!!!!

ISANG TAON

It's been a year. Ambilis. Tama nga hinala ko, lilipas na lang ang panahon na walang mangyayari. Hehe, wala rin naman akong pwedeng gawin e. All I can do now is watch, and wait. I hate waiting. It only wastes time. But life gives us things we can't rush. Ika nga nila, you don't jump unto the water if you don't know how to swim.

Ewan.

Yun na siguro ang pinakamainam na salita para sa akin ngayon. Ewan. Wala na akong alam. Nawiwindang na nga siguro ako. Di rin ako sigurado run. Ang lakas ng ulan. Hehe..

Wala na yung mga araw na hindi natatapos nang hindi ako napapaluhod sa sahig sa kakaiyak. Yung mga araw na pinipilit kong palipasin para dumating na yung panahong magiging maayos din ang lahat.. Mukhang na-writer's block yata ako. Di ako makapagsulat. Bakit kaya? Hehe. Alam nyo kasi, nakakapagsulat lang ako kapag malungkot ako o kaya pag masaya ako. Di na ako nag-iisip kasi pag nagsusulat. Kusa na lang syang umaagos, mula sa ulo, pababa sa mga braso ko, papunta sa kamay at lalabas sa daliri ko at sasalin sa kung ano mang ipinansusulat ko ngayon. Pero kakaiba tong ginagawa ko ngayon. Di naman sa di ako nagsusulat, pero nagtatype ako ngayon. Haha..

O di ba ang kyut ko magsulat? May nalalaman pa akong agos agos. Haha.. Lumabas na pala yung yearbook namin nung HS. Yung iba sobrang excited kinuha na nila agad yung sa kanila. Ano kaya nakasulat sa akin dun? Yun malamang ang nasa isip ng mga kumukuha ng yearbook nila ng hayskul. Para sa akin lang yun ah. Ewan ko lang sa ibang mga tao...

Masaya ako ngayon. Totoo yun.

It's not happiness that I wish, but peace of mind. One thing I learned watching Gundam Wing is that, in order to fight, you must have a reason for it. Whether it is to uphold your ideals, or protect someone you love, you do not go into a fight without reason, because you'd only die a dog's death. There will be days where I know where I'm going, and there were days where I don't. Its not that I can't make up my mind, its just that, in some way, reasons do not give enough initiative for you to make your move. Did I run out of reasons to continue? I don't know. Maybe reason wasn't enough to get myself moving to do something about it.. Or maybe I'm just stumped because I won't do anything, or CANNOT do anything. Anyhow, it all boils down to waiting. And more waiting. And some more waiting..

I envy old people. There are those who wake up every morning and tell themselves that they love their lives. Where the only thing they wait for is their date of death. Where everytime they think about their life, they find nothing else to wish for other than letting God take care of the people they love once they leave..

To love and be loved. I believe that the feeling of being loved by someone you love can be partially compared to living a fulfilled life. You get these happy mornings. You tend to like waking up and seeing the sun shine over your groggy face. And before going out of your bed, you tend to thank God because you were so happy that day. You do everything with a smile, you're more energetic, and if you're like me, you tend to love God more because of that.

I usually hide things to myself. And I don't usually open up to people. It takes a lot to get me out of my shell and let me talk. But then again, there are people who you meet who actually do a good job at making me talk. There was this one instance when I was talking to someone, and there I was, talking and talking and talking. The other end of the phone line was actually silent, which prompted the back of my head to think whether that person was actually listening or not. I asked if there was something wrong because of the silence.. She just said, "go on, keep talking, I just wanted to hear your voice..". At that exact moment I felt my heart drop to my stomach, which up to now is a mystery to me why it happened.

One year. Twelve months. Fifty-two weeks. Three hundred and sixty five days. Eight thousand and seven hundred sixty hours.

It's quite a long time. Enough time to keep myself pre occupied and happy with other people. Not enough time to find the answer though. An answer. Maybe that's what has been keeping me from finding peace of mind.. I don't like the idea of closure, but its the best thing I wish I had right now.

One sided love. Yup, it is painful.

ho-hum

Di ko alam kung serious ba tong iboblog ko o hindi.. hahaha!!!

ano nga bang nangyayari sa akin ngayon? hmmmm....

1. adik ako sa Hunter x Hunter at Gundam Wing at Shippuden. hahaha!!!!
2. 1-2 standing namin sa liga... sana maipanalo namin yung next game.. haha!!! sana wala nang mag-inarte!!! haha!!!
3. sira ipod ko... tsk... 2 weeks para lang ipaayos... hmf...
4. ok lang na masira ipod ko kasi may w700i naman ako!! YEHEEEEEY!!!!
5. miss ko na bestfriend ko.. nakakatuwa kasi pumupunta sya sa bahay para lang panoorin akong maglaro ng bbol.. hahahaha!!! nakakatuwa!!!! masayang summer kasama ang bestfriend kong si zoeeeeee!!! (kailangan ba talagang ilagay yung pangalan nya dito? para naman kasing di nila alam di ba? haha!!)
6. naiinis ako sikat na SS ngayon.. parang dati wala pa kaming 100 na fans.. hahaha...
7. miss ko na rin yung isang tao. hahahaha!!!!
8. nagugutom na ako...
9. ang gising ko lagi 9am or 10 na... huhu...
10. ayoko na magpuyat!!!

andyan na yearbook namin!!! yay!!! papakita ko sya sa bestfriend ko. hehehehe!!!!!

dito na lang muna!!!!

ciao!