one hundred percent karma

naturally, i am a strong believer of karma. you know, the good and the bad ones.

i think i can credit all of my superstitious beliefs to the upbringing of my mom. yeah i believe in a lot of weird things (your feng-shui or what not) and yes, they do have a great effect in my life.

so, right now, i have all my bad karma being skewed up my ass. poor me. this is what i get for choosing. this is what i get for sowing seeds which i know will come and stab me someday. too bad someday came pretty fast.

this is much worse than it was in my 4th year high school.

i am running out of places to hide.

anyway, i'm not going to make this long. i'm just, not in the mood right now to be happy. maybe one of these days i'm gonna find someone who can put up with the bullshit i have right now.

and i am praying that whoever that will be, come down here pretty please? i am genuinely running out of time, of things to do, of people i can talk to, generally, i am all alone right now.

yeah i hate crowded people and stuff like that, but that doesn't mean i'm a loner. somehow i can find myself content with one person. too bad i have NONE right now. *sob*

can someone please approach me and say something nice to me?

maybe this is what happens if you don't have many friends.
hey, maybe i have friends, but nah, i'm not gonna fall on my knees and beg someone to talk to me. not like that. i did that yesterday and i felt all pathetic and shit.

everything comes with a price. and some people don't accept that. good for them.

to them, everything can be had if they wanted to, selfish little people. why don't they stop for a minute and take a look around them. i hope they can see the people they have hurt whether they liked to or not.

its been a while since i've written crap like this. yeah, its been a while since i had that putrid, disgusting feeling within me. all this crap makes me puke. but hey, i'm not a puker you know.

i hope i can conquer this bullshit with a proper mindset. you know, just convince yourself that everything is gonna pass. but nah, i can't subscribe to that. i've been through too much bullshit to know what it feels like to wait for nothing.

the weather now is cold and stormy. nice. it fits my life situation well.

i can't wait for it to rain when i go home from school. not the hard rain, just the one loud enough to be noticed but not violent enough to get me wet. when that happens i'm gonna pull out my umbrella and start walking. after that i'll just pray hard that something may fall down from the sky and hit me in the head so i can think straight.

let me say this. its bullshit to say that you love someone when you really know that you love somebody else.





"once upon a time, i had a bestfriend. we weren't your normal bestfriends mind you. then my bestfriend found herself a prince...

and they lived happily ever after. the end."











my name is rc fajardo. and my life is bullshit right now.