rally

FRIDAY. our class did not have the supposed exam because there was a walk-out of the classes which was spurned by the progressive sectors of the University of the Philippines.

being part of this event left an exhilarating impression on me. for the first time in my life i stood up for my rights as a Filipino. in my mind the people are not apathetic, but they are divided unto what course of action to take.

it is the search and clamor for truth which has unified the people. the masses should be careful though, for unplanned action can be used by the ruling bourgeoisie to slither their way unto electing a new leader which is more of the same mold as of its predecessor.

i think everyone should take action. the time is ripe to make history once more.

(sa mga nakakita sa akin sa tv kung meron man, saludo ako sa inyo dahil nanonood kayo ng late night news :D )

new shoes!!!!

wow, my first post for February. (somehow, the spelling still looks weird to me. i'd rather spell it just Feb than February.)

department week is coming up. i hope to have a lot of fun, since i had a hand in planning the big cosplay event. (i'm sure it's gonna be BIIIIG.)

anyway, mom's birthday is also up for the first week, and we plan to buy her a new pair of slippers. sana magustuhan nya. :)

highlight of the day: somehow i had persuaded my dad to buy me a new pair of shoes. i've been dying to have those shoes for a while now, but i haven't had a chance to stock up some money to buy it. then came the 30% off nike sale. i went nuts. i had to have the shoes. haha! so there, i have a new pair of shoes. i wasn't this happy getting shoes since 4th year, when i my cousin bought me my basketball shoes.

i loaned the money to buy those shoes, which means i'm going to pay them off soon. i've always wanted to buy a pair of shoes for myself. so thanks a lot to my mom and dad!!!! :D

didn't have an active day today. just a typical lazy sunday, loafing around and staring in front of the computer. i've downloaded and converted shows that i am plannning to watch on my ipod. i just installed The Sims 2 plus a few expansions, which means i now have around 5 distractions in my pc right now. i just hope that my pc doesn't break down again. i really become displaced whenever that happens. so now i'm considering an OS downgrade because Vista is totally punishing the pc. It's either that or somehow i hope to get around 20k to overhaul my pc. haha, maybe i should try my luck on the lottery. :P

a few nuisances aside, overall, life's been good lately. hope your life's good too. :)

wala pa rin akong tula

yes, i still do not have a poem for my class tomorrow. i am having a lot of difficulty trying to piece together words which would be creative enough, yet still pack the informational power for it to be considered, well, good.

i admit, wordplay isn't my cup of tea. prose is. so here i am sending out my apologies to those whom have listened, and may have become offended with my not so good use of words. really, i appreciate you all for not covering your ears as i painfully recite the piece of poetry i created.

poetry made me think twice of going into music too much. maybe i doubted myself writing songs. songwriting isn't the way for me, i thought. producing the song is. applying the beat to it. listening to the song itself. one day i'll produce a song. kumbaga, gusto ko yung trabaho ni errol choi sa coffee prince. :) (pero di ako babaero!! haha!)

yeah, music producer. i want that job. i also want to try my hand at being a club dj. mixing sounds. making people groove to the beat. controlling their emotions through the pulsating beats coming from the turntables. that's why i love daft punk, the chemical brothers and sunset daze. my interest for music production led me to club, techno and house music (though i don't do clubbing). i can envision myself doing such. aside from becoming a doctor. heck, maybe i'll try to integrate that music recovery therapy to my future patients. music relaxes the brain. a relaxed brain equates to a stress free body. finally, a stress free body heals faster, and is healthier.

tonight i was subjected to a lot of stress. my pc went haywire thanks to my sister. luckily, i was able to rescue it. the bad news is, i'm still in recovery mode right now. i think my pc and i share a connection. whenever the pc is broke, i'm broken too. haha!! its funny at the same time very weird. well i can't blame myself for loving my computer. di pa naman ako addict, wag kayong mag-alala. hahaha!!!

i'd rather live without a computer than stay with a broken one. :P

a few updates

because my blog has degraded itself into a pathetic waste of bandwidth, i have decided to embark upon a journey to refresh it with my new thoughts. wow, such a deep use of language to explain an excuse for not blogging recently.

i don't see myself as an active blogger though. i only write when i feel like it. i let the urge come to me. i don't like forcing myself to write. i think i am a lesser individual when i force myself.

anyway, a few updates for those who still come.
- toxic days are upon us once again, fellow isko and iska. the antagonistic tendencies of our professors have not only resulted unto more sleepless nights, but also a lot less time for us to socialize, enjoy ourselves (in a non-sexual way of course) and and get in touch with nature (something i have enjoyed doing)
- yet somehow, we find opportunities in which to breathe. 3 hour breaks and afternoon classes are such a welcome sight.
- i have expanded my list of things to buy once again. it now includes a pair of sunglasses and a basketball
- unto the subject of basketball, it is the only activity in which i feel most alive. and it unclogs my brain. i just played a few 1 on 1 matches a while ago, and i never felt so alive again. it is alienating to just stare at the computer monitor all day long.
- washing the dishes has now become my official "thinking time". yes, i got to solve a lot of stuff in my head while washing the plates. :)
- i want my SBC mug already (and the planner, and the tote bag, and the pen, and the free drink coupons)
- i noticed that i am now searching for books related to my course, and am now involving myself pretty much into politics, especially the campus variety. damn school. haha.

so that's pretty much it. go visit my multiply. i have pictures there. haha! :P

woo vista!

wala pang 1 week yung pc ko, nadali na agad ng virus!!! ayus! kaya ayan nagpalit ako ng OS. ganda ng vista, kaso parang kailangan ko nang mag overhaul ng pc. naghihirap na yung pc ko e. hahaha!!!

hurrah for 2008!

wow, and to think that 2007 wouldn't end any faster. welcome to the year 2008. i'm not in any position to tell you what's gonna happen, but i am obliged to tell you what has happened to me.

my PC is back in action!!! my, my, my i am having so much fun right now. no more disconnections for me now. 1GB of RAM and a 160GB HD is coolness!!!

This New Year marks a noticeable drop in fireworks sales and usage. come on, it is good news that a lot less people are hurt, but the reality that people don't see is that the noise has considerably gone down. it's not that people are not buying fireworks, but rather, they are unable to buy because of the prevailing state of our country. hopefully something goes right this year. something that all of us could enjoy.

i'm not really feeling good right now. actually, i think i'm sad. something is awfully off. great, something to start my year with. hahaha.. maybe i shouldn't think about worthless stuff that i don't even have a right to know. i'm not the privy type you know.

in a few days some of us (unfortunately, including me) would be off to school again.
things to buy
- maybe a wallet
- definitely a y-splitter cable
- and a couple of more stuff

so there. happy new year to y'all! :D

because it is a midnight and i am hungry

i've got this feeling in my head right now. i can't point a finger on it, but then, it's a feeling that compels me to do something. something like contemplate, which i don't actually do a whole lot. or even read a book. just do something, my head tells me. but what it is, i do not know. i this an effect of the end of the year fast approaching? or maybe it was the combination of coke and gatorade that has put my head into this state of being.

somehow today has been the climax of me feeling really, really old (maybe mature, but i don't really think i deserve to be called as such) these past few days. my younger sister is almost rebellious right now. something i did not think would happen, but it did. so here i am, watching, talking to her. i don't want to see my sister cut herself or something. i think that's a total bummer. or maybe i just hate the fact that people mutilate themselves due to emotional distress. really pointless. i hope i can pull this off. heck, i am growing old, i'm even starting to become the man in the house. of course next to my dad.

when i was a tad little younger i didn't think i'd be in this situation, growing up to be a man (haha, i am still apprehensive in typing this, but i have to let this go.

or else it's gonna explode in my face.

i've always liked to be depended on, i've always wanted to help. somehow growing up, i get tasked these responsibilities, chores or whatever. then i watch the other people grow together with me. i've seen my folks grow, i've seen my friends grow, i've seen my sisters grow and i have seen myself grow, amongst others. somehow i have probably reached that part in my life wherein it is me who shall take on the reins and direct my life to where i want it to go. slowly, but definitely, independence has been given to me. then that point would come, where i am my own boss in my life.

somehow i'll have to be able to accept the changes happening in my life right now. my sisters need me. my family needs me. and maybe someone else out there needs me. i'm thrust into this scenario where i to tell myself that i am no longer a child. not that i'll be growing up into some ridiculous, pessimistic monster, but i'd rather not lose the optimism in me that keeps me going. it may make others happy, and seeing others happy makes for a smiling me. (haha) looks like i'll be graduating from my teens sooner than i thought. my goodness. and i thought i was going to go through that twen-teen syndrome a lot of people have.

someday i'll go through all these things which i wrote. the dreaded blog archives. haha. then i'll get a better picture of me. growing up.

i'd pick growing up, rather than growing old.
i hate the word "old". reminds me of a very sad dream i had. peace.

what time is it?! it's christmas time! hoooo!

contrary to what i've thought for the past few days, i would not be posting a very serious blog post due to the fact that it may spoil the holiday spirit. and who wants to read something too serious when everyone is happy and merry-making eh? so here i am, updating my blog.

hooray! this would be the 100th post! on Christmas Eve! haha! life is good my fellow people. indeed. although i threw away 400 bucks for a set of crummy earphones (damn you odyssey. i still can't get over it), i feel though that everything would work out, starting today.

i've completed the nine mornings of mass!! wooop wooop!!!! i still don't know if my wish would be granted, but i do hope so.

moving on, i wish that everyone enjoys this Christmas season, where it be an up or down year for y'all. it's always good to end the year with a bang, and with the new year just around the corner, this would also be a good time to evaluate oneself. what you did, what you learned (side note: suddenly my stomach is aching. not good), what you've accomplished during the past 365 days. then thank the Lord for every blessing you have received. people often overlook this, so be a nice boy/girl and give thanks to the man above.

i suddenly realized that I too, am growing up. like what my long time friend has jokingly said to me, "nagbibinata ka na?". which got me into thinking. well, somehow, i've encountered experiences that have shaped me into what i am now, and i am glad to say that, well, i've grown as a person. so too are the people around me. i think surrounding myself with the right mix of people has made me better and wiser than the year before. wow, so feeling ko naman antanda ko na. pero ok lang. i really think i've outgrown myself from last year. i hope this bowls over to 2008. that would be fun. :)

i want to say once again, thanks to all of the people whom have made this year as memorable as the other years. in a few month's time we would all be in our last years in college (well, not for me, i still have med school), and a few more moments after that, we'll be graduates. Christmas, i think, is the best time to thank all of those people whom you have made memories with. do remember that i love you all!!!

happy holidays! :D

futures

for my 99th post, i have decided to talk about something i have recently contemplated about. usually, everyone wonders what our tomorrow would look like. since we live in a society dictated by our endless hours of toil, confusion, and grumbling of our stomachs, no one has risen up to provide us with a vision of what we should look forward to in the coming days.

while our pathetic government gives us a vague picture of our nation's "development", we Filipinos are still here, living on a day-to-day subsistence. Where the meals we worry about are the meals we eat today, not giving so much thought on what tomorrow brings. we have holed up ourselves too long in this "present day" attitude of us. because in order to bring forth change, a vision is required.

as our high school class valedictorian has said in his inaugural address, "ano pa ba ang nasa dako pa roon?" ("what is thee over thy yonder?" for the common playwright). usually, we may reply with the i don't know and i don't really care face. or maybe that was just my case. i was the immature young man back in high school. i can happily say that i am now unlike that young man nowadays. life has made me a bit more mature, a bit more ready to take on life. in order to achieve what we see the in future, it is vital that ample preparation should be undertaken.

recently i have convinced myself not to believe in those fortunetellers out in the streets, claiming to know your future. not that i really believed them, but the false overtures that they give sometimes get through the people so much that those whom had seen them attest to their credibility. nagkakatotoo raw mga hula nila. e ayun nga, mga hula lamang iyon at hindi dapat pinapaniwalaan. "manghuhula" nga sila e. hinuhulaan lang nila ang mga pwedeng mangyari. i think that mentality is wrong, but this assumption cannot be helped for their prediction presupposes the forthcoming events. that being said, i theorized that any kind of message related to our immediate future brings to our innate subconscious a kind of message that, these certain events should happen. accordingly, we actually do steps in order to achieve what the fortuneteller has told us. that should not be allowed to happen. we ourselves are in direct and total control of our lives (unless you yourself are being controlled), and our future is a big part of it.

unlike other creatures, we are unique because a) we have a thing called culture, and b) we are the foremost agent of change in our lives. we must not let our visions for ourselves be limited by those who are around us. we are not forbidden to stretch the limits of what we can achieve for the human being is capable of anything that he puts his mind and conscious effort into.

as my professor has told in our class, the construction worker who sees the formation of a church in the piles of hollow blocks and cement is the best worker, for he has established a vision, a visible goal, an end for which all means would lead up to. we must be like this worker. we must work on our lives, set goals and work hard to achieve them. any obstacle in the way is to be conquered. every failure should be taken with lessons learned. every critic should be silenced. this is how human life should be. an adventure of unlimited discovery and achievement. a testament of the power of the will.

the true power of humanity is its ability to change the world. it is in everyone's hands and therefore, all must work for the better life. it may be idealist but what the heck, if it is for the greater good, then it should be done.

My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny. - Elaine Maxwell

not today

i was supposed to blog about something today, but apparently, i don't think i would push through with it right now because my pc has acquired this habit of disconnecting from the internet (which is a lot of bull)

please let Christmas come early. i need the money to upgrade my beloved computer.

ka-BOOM!

Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
Oh baby bring on the pain
And listen to the thunder

- Boys Like Girls

by accident, i stumbled upon this song one boring day surfing your friendly neighborhood mp3 streaming site. the first time i heard this, i was, well blown away. i desperately had to get myself a copy of the song. i actually downloaded the original song, then a few days later i learned that they had an acoustic version. then and there i realized that it was the acoustic version that dragged me into this hole where i can just spend one whole day listening to one song.

the last time i was so hooked to one song was during my senior year in high school. then now as i am spending my third year in college, i stumbled upon this. this is such a good song for those who love somebody.

the song was originally about a summer fling. which, by the time it ended, made the person singing realize that he didn't want another fling and decided to take on his fling to another level, but that was already impossible because it ended pretty badly.

i think being in love gives a lot of people this aura of invincibility. this "you and me against the world" attitude. but sometimes, we need to mix this invincibility with a dose of realism. we need to put into perspective the possibilities of sourness and bitterness in a relationship. having realism in a relationship means that each one of you needs to work hard in order to preserve what has already been established. love is about hard work. being in love is already a commitment and staying in love is a passion worth taking risks for. it's the happiness and the fulfillment that people yearn from love. i think it is what they are looking for in their significant other.

but at the end of the day, we all like to feel invulnerable at some point of our lives. that's what the song points out. it poses a challenge to the world to bring it on. because he can take it all for he is in love.

too bad a lot of people don't know about this song. nice. i hate it when something i like becomes too popular. :)

the week that was..

*due to insistent public demand, i have simultaneously updated both my blogger and multiply blog with the same post. A FIRST! :D*

the first week of my second semester isn't really finished yet, but i did do a lot of things, some of which are entertaining while the others aren't really interesting. i did pick up some new things while i was out there in Manila doing my business (which was to spend and save money).

next week would be our first reporting and our group reflection paper. should be a piece of cake for our group THE FIRM for we are, should i say, the best of the best men in our block.:)

what did i do this week which merits a mention in this space of mine?
- went to Dulce Saguisag's funeral. then the President was there, which explained the tons and tons of security people both outside and inside of St.Scholastica's
- had to adjust myself of going back and forth to Manila (again, the daily grind has left me tired, but nevertheless i find solace in the fact that i got to know something new, although i don't really know what it was)
- spent more time strolling at the mall rather than sitting in the classroom (due to cancelled classes)
- first time for me to encounter a super early bird professor (which made me look like someone who was late)
- bought my coveted nike thong slippers (OH YES!) next on my list: PC UPGRADE!
- had my allowance reduced *sigh*
- thought about blogging my opinion regarding the thin line between being thrifty and being a cheapskate (maybe it's going to appear in my blogspot, when i have the time)
- affixed my signature in a number of accomplished form 5s of the UPM students (salamat chairman Robert sa iyong pagpapa-unlak, kahit di ako USC. wahahaha!)
- thought about joining an org (FINALLY!)
- finally went to Cerealicious, which was delicious by the way, and no, the cereal doesn't get soggy even if it was dipped forever in their milk. SUGOI!
- watching Air Gear (also shown in ABS-CBN), really cool anime. i hope they have prepared a next season
- loving and appreciating life with friends and with the one i love. naks. anlandi. :P

and so it was my Monday to Friday. i still have Saturday though. Chaikofi mode raw kami. Nice. I want the VIP lounge with the strobe lights inside their tables. :)

memory plus

because of a lack or should i say, drought of inspiration to post, i haven't been able to write a lot in my blog for a while. i guess i'm not the type of person who's passionate about writing so that means either i blabber a lot or i write a load of non-sense in my posts. or maybe i'm just too lazy to write about anything. my middle finger hurts (it's sore) which means typing nowadays would become a tad too tedious to engage in. so anyway, after this useless banter i should get on talking about what i'm supposed to discuss about: memories.

after some blog hopping, and after watching episode 1 of eureka seven for the nth time (must watch anime, really!) i stumbled upon a concept which is a worthwhile topic of conversation, the thing we call memories.

because time does not stop for us, and because you can't step on the same river twice, we have memories. these fragments of thought which are used to store specific events which happen to us in our everyday lives. they range from small ones to big, cinematic ones. even those idle moments some of us take for granted can be considered great memories for some.

all the memories we have are stored in the brain. nothing is spared. i suppose it only boils down to the preferences of the individual whether he decides to repeatedly remember a specific moment of his or her life, or none at all. i don't think this is about the brain's power to recall data, but rather it is the willingness of the person to remember which powers the resurfacing of his/her memories.

we all have our favorite memories. we also tend to attach them to people, especially those who are dear to us. for me it is an imperative that each and every person we meet has a memory associated to them if ever we want to recall them. our memories of them serve as our tags to organize them inside our head.

i have a quote about memory.. goes something like:
"the thing about movies and music is that they aren't about the stories they tell, but rather the memories they create. they remind you most of all the past relationships and realizations you have made in your life."

i have a little theory about hit songs and movies. i think those which remind us most of ourselves, of what we have experienced in our lives, of the people we have met, are the ones which we love the most. that the most beloved movies and music are those which share the common sentiments of the people. i suppose that's why the topic of love is thrown around a lot, because people are drawn to it, because they can relate. because they see themselves in that man standing outside the window, drenched in the pouring rain and waiting for his love to come out. somehow a lot of us have these kinds of memories. or maybe not, but they easily associate themselves to these characters.

i think everyone is yearning to find someone who shares the same set of memories about a certain situation as they do. that's why it is best to ask help from someone who has been through what you are going through, although it is hard to find someone who had the exact same experience as you did, a few parallels should readily bridge the gap between two people.

memento. it is an object which represents a memory. it was there when that moment happened, and as such, it becomes a silent witness to what transpired that day. i think everyone possesses a memento of his or her favorite memory. it helps in the recall process. and well, it serves as a reminder that, in some point in your life, you experienced this and this object becomes evidence that, indeed, such a moment happened in your life.

memories, no matter how fleeting, how painful or how long, are always cherished by those who share them with other people. for many individuals, sharing memories with other people is an affirmation of their lives and existence. it is the keystone which unlocks a trove of emotions, both good and bad.

remember when they say, "you don't know what you got till it's gone"? it's the memories which remind you of the real value of what you just lost. memory is an intangible carrier which is controlled by the surrounding environment. it is the clay which is molded by the surroundings and hardened by time. for us, it is the clear testament of the moments that we have had, both good and bad.

one year

i haven't really noticed it, but to my disbelief my blog is already a year old. poor me i didn't notice it earlier, but its better late than never. so...

HAPPY ONE YEAR TO MY BLOG!! WOOHOOO!!!!

i remember trying to think of a domain name for my blog. medyo nahirapan din ako noon, kasi ayoko gamitin yung pangalan ko, at the same time ginusto ko ng unique na phrase or something.

then after playing through the whole 4 campaigns of Warcraft 3: Reign of Chaos for the nth time, i hit upon the word "ethereal".

in my own lexicon ethereal means false or illusionary. cool. then i stacked in the word reality, and there you have it. literally my blog name means "false reality", a very common philosophical paradox often found in the works of Focault, Eco and Kant.

but that doesn't mean that everything in this blog is false. nothing is. this is me, this is what i do and what i sometimes think.

writing for me has become an outlet and a refuge, much like the game of basketball. it can be emotionally charged most of the time, and there are those rare times where intellectualism kicks in and then there would be too few people who know what i talk about. its fun really, especially when people come in and read then leave comments (paparinig sa mga di nagcocomment! haha) and when people appreciate or somehow relate to what i write. it is a good feeling, and so i continue to write when i have both the time and the material to go with it.

so to all of those who regularly drop by, please leave a comment. it is very much appreciated. and don't worry, i'm not going to diss you all. maybe just one at a time. :D

the beginning of something beautiful

i can't really put a finger on it in my head, but i think there exists a song with the same title as this one.
well, i'd have to admit this one came pretty late. a bit of time has flown since i have rebooted my life and everything is in tippety-top shape so far.

called me blessed, or maybe i'm just that lucky.
but i'd be forever thankful and grateful to a lot of people.

okay, so there are a lot of people. but i just want to train my eyes on this particular person.
can you imagine going home at night, getting inside your room with the lights off, slipping off your sneakers then plopping yourself down at your bed, heaving a big sigh saying to yourself that the day is officially over...

then suddenly smile? parang tanga lang no? hahaha...

then there would be times when you're down. times where days can be a drag. may it be because of the annoying rain, flunking exams or pesky people around you, it just puts you down at times. but in spite of all of this, here you are silently laughing to yourself because something funny happened.

i can't remember the last time anyone really went out of their way to make sure that i wasn't cranky or sad anymore. but hey, i have that someone now. and well, i can heave a collective sigh of relief to my problems. take that! haha!!

i remember telling myself when i was a little kid that no one's ever going to like or even understand me. i remember meeting people who have proven me wrong. i remember the ups and downs with them. then i remember us parting ways because of me screwing up big time.

then i remember her. and i remember how hard it is to write about her because i couldn't stop smiling and i can't start typing.

to hell with having a lot of people. just give me 2 or 3 really good ones. i'd take that anytime.
or better yet, give me someone like her. i'd be set for my whole life.


"this is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world, and while she looks so sad in photographs i absolutely love her, when she smiles..."

something i learned this semester

to review for a final exam is boring.

in lieu of reading a whole lot of words regarding our national hero, here i am now, typing them instead. a lot has been said about what he said, a lot has been done since what he has done himself, so frankly i don't think anything substantial would be bound to come out of this post of mine.

the only thing that would matter this time would be my opinion, for this is my personal space.

as of this time, maybe there would also be other people who are bound to study more about our national hero. not that their school requires them to, or that a certain subject of theirs needs a little backgrounder about Rizal, but because they want to. after all, it takes a lot of things to be tagged with the alias "the pride of the Malayan race" or "the greatest Malayan who ever lived.". from food to fencing, from education to engineering, from ladies to linguistics, Rizal has took them on and has excelled at them with immense style and ease. he was, as i would like to call him, an academic machine. a tank with perpetual motion, able to operate at dizzying speeds and accomplish a whole lot in a very short amount of time. to calculate his efficiency would be something of a beauty. no movement wasted, nothing taken for granted.

calm, cool and smart. not your typical nerd. he could lay down his fists as if it were the law if he wanted to. he was the school valedictorian with the bully's strength. he was the doctorate holder who had a jiu-jitsu black belt. he may be, in our time, the Nobel Prize laureate, Olympic Gold medalist and UFC lightweight champion all at the same time. he was THAT good. and he was a Filipino.

but apart from all the accolades (including the 22 languages he speaks fluently), he was first and foremost a nationalist. a reformist who wanted equality practiced in his homeland between his people and their conquerors.

he whom wrote two blockbuster novels which depicted scenes of society delivered with his own critical commentary in the form of his lead character. part historian and part sociologist, our national hero gave us a 3rd person perspective of what the Filipino has endured during the arduous and taxing reign of the Spaniard. noting that not only was thorough critique given but also comprehensiveness not being compromised unlike in other history books written today.

Joe was THAT good. his teachings are timeless. his writings have a certain prophetic ring to it. fanatics to him claim that he is a godsend. a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. yet the mere fact that his writings about society which were published more or less 300 years ago are still applicable today indicate a sad truth: we still have not progressed as a nation.

backward, neo-colonial and marginalized. this is who we are. and unless a conscious effort is given to make sure that our national hero's works are to be rendered ineffective in today's world, we would still be stuck in where we are. still a conquered and beleaguered people whom owe their identity to foreign powers in control. the only things which are different in today's society is the fact that we are being controlled in more subtle and psychological ways. our patronization of the english language is one. sabihin nyo nagsusulat ako ngayon sa ingles. oo nagsusulat ako para yung mga nagfifeeling na magaling dyan at nakakaintindi ng ingles (kuno) e basahin yung blog ko. para mamulatan naman sila. para di sila tawaging tanga at ignorante.

if what Rizal wrote a couple of hundred years ago still holds true today, then we have a lot of work to do. if what we see in his writings still reflect in our society today, then we can say that we still live in the Spanish era. Filipinos still being a minority in their own land. peddling what remains of their "culture" to tourists who feel that they immerse themselves in deeply rooted cultural activities. in a world where everything is sourced to maximize profits and gains, nobody has yet taken that step backward to see if we have moved even a little bit as our national hero envisions us to, or there are a lot already, such as the Constantinos, but their influence is heavily limited to those who have access to the vast syntheses they have made for Philippine historiography. our national hero's writings are preserved for a lot of reasons, one to for us to appreciate his vision for a better nation, and another to be a guide or a point of comparison for us to know if we have indeed made strides forward towards national development. if we still see ourselves in the picture Rizal has painted in his works, then what we have done is inadequate.

there is more work to be done. and there can never be too many hands to do the dirty work.
if we fight a mirror image of ourselves, all we have to do then is to break the surrounding glass.

SENATE

galing kami sa senado kanina. kasi kinapanayam namin si Senador Pia S. Cayetano ukol sa isyung e-waste.
eto mga nangyari:
- late si mark at nilibre nya kami ng pamasahe (taxi pa) papuntang GSIS kung saan nagtatrabaho ang mga senador
- di pumasok yung magaling kong titser kaya di rin kami nakapagpasa nung case study na pinagpuyatan ko. haha laking abala talaga.
- daming media at senador sa senate building (malamang)
- dami ring kupal. mga mayamang squatter. mga kakandidato sa eleksyon kaya pumunta sa senado para manghingi ng suporta sa isang senador.

halimbawa.
lalaki1: oi pare! long time no see! balita ko kakandidato ka raw sa barangay ninyo a.
lalaki2: oo nga pare. kaya nga ako andito e. hehehe!!!

tignan ninyo, ultimo mga taong kumakandidato sa mga mababang posisyon ay nag-aabala pang lumuwas ng maynila upang mamalimos. ang gastos ninyo. para kayong mga tao sa wowowee. napakahayok sa pera. tama yung kinaiinisan naming security sa sinabi niya.

"mga maliliit na buwaya lang naman yang mga yan eh."

- dumalo rin kami ng senate hearing. may mga bill na madaling napasa. at dun ko narealize na ang privilege speech pala ay maaring maging tungkol sa kahit saan. sa senado, pwede kang dumaldal ng tungkol sa kinain mong almusal kaninang umaga kahit na tungkol sa national budget ang agenda ng inyong meeting.
- sa wakas nakita ko na rin sa tunay na buhay ang pagwawala ni Miriam Defensor-Santiago. ayos.
- andun din si Rez Cortez. baka papanoorin nya si Kiko Pangilinan. o kaya sisigaw sya ng "NO TO MR. NOTED!" habang nagsasalita ang asawa ni Sharon.
- walang pumapansing taga -media kay Migs Zubiri sa Senado. hmmmm bakit kaya?
- nagresign na si Benjamin Abalos bilang Comelec Chairman
- may babaeng dumating na galit na galit na pinagmumura ang mga Aquino. malamang isa sya sa libu-libong sakada na nabiktima ng pangmomolestya ng mga may-ari ng lupa.
- MAY TWISTER FRIES NA ULIT ANG MCDO! :)
- at may bago na kaming crush. si Art Angel! woohoo!

yun lang. masaya mag-ikot sa senate building. at tama naman ang mga senador natin. may mga problema tayong sana ay tapos na kung maayos lamang ang pag implementa ng batas.

salamat sa bench

yesterday BENCH saved my day. and my life.

bow. :P

an apple a day keeps sadness at bay. :P

an apple. so? masarap yan. hahaha!!! weird yung fusion ng caramel at yung fruitiness ng apple. it's a new experience for me, este, for us pala. hahaha!!!

more apples to come! woohoo!!!

next up: frozen bananas and caramel fondue!!!!
*rawwwwwwwr*

mga kwentong regular bus

Mas masarap yata to ikwento sa tagalog. Hehe.. mga kwentong bus daw o. ayos. Hindi ito yung bus na de aircon ah. Eto yung bus na regular. Yung sinasakyan ng karamihan sa ating hindi gaanong kalakihan ang laman ng bulsa matapos ang isang araw ng pagtatrabaho o kaya’y pag-aaral. Yung sinasakyan ng mga nagtitipid tulad ko kapag malamig naman ang panahon at hindi gaanong brutal at nagpapawis ang aking balat. Eto yung bus ng masa. Eto ang pinakamalapit sa tao, at sya ring pinakanaglalaman ng mga samu’t saring kwento ng pakikibaka, pagtatagumpay at kasiyahan sa gitna ng laganap na kahirapan at paghihikahos dulot ng mga garapal sa itaas at ng mga nagpapatakbo sa kanilang mga banyaga.

Nung igala ko ang tingin ko sa mga pasahero ng bus noong gabing yon, nakita ko ang mga pagmumukha ng mga taong pagod, at kung minsan naman ay, kuntento sa kanilang nagawa ngayong araw. Sila’y mga manggagawa, mga estudyanteng dugyot tulad namin, mga klerk ng department store, mga trabahador sa pabrika at kung anu-ano pang mga samut-saring trabaho. Dito ko naisip na, ito ang realidad ng lipunang ginagalawan ko. Dito rin nagsimulang umagos ang daloy ng inspirasyon na bumalot sa aming dalawa ng aking kasama rin sa bus. Sa hindi inaasahang pagkakataon, napagnilayan namin ang aming mga minimithi, mga pangarap at mga gustong makamit pagkatapos mag-aral. Napag-usapan din namin ang realidad ng buhay dito sa pilipinas, mga nakaraang nakakawiling ungkatin tulad ng mga ala-ala nung hayskul, mga nakaraan ng ibang tao, mga ex boyfriend nya, mga taong hindi marunong magbasketbol at ang tatak ng pulitika na umiiral dito sa ating bansa.

Malaking tulong din pala ang paglanghap sa tunay na hangin, mabaho man ito o hindi. Masangsang man ang amoy ng hanging ito o kaya’y mabango, hinding hindi mawawala mula rito ang katangiang ito ay buhay, kabaligtaran ng hangin na lumalabas mula sa bibig ng isang air conditioner, na bagamat malamig ay likhang tao lamang na hindi nagtataglay ng buhay.

Tinanong ako ng aking kasama kung bakit napili kong mag-aral sa UP manila.
Ganito ang nasabi ko sa kanya.

Tignan mong maige ang paligid mo, walang mga puno di ba? Walang lilim, walang proteksyon mula sa kalikasan. Ano ba ang andito sa Maynila? Walang iba kundi ang katotohanan ng mga nangabubuhay dito. Ang kahirapan, ang masangsang na amoy, ang kriminalidad, ang hindi kasiguruhan ng iyong buhay at ang nakakapasong init ay araw-araw na hinaharap ng mga tao rito upang mabuhay pa ng isa pang araw at nang sa gayon ay panatilihing buhay ang kanilang pangarap na kasaganahan. Sa tingin ko’y kapag nalampasan mo ang apat na taong kurso sa peyups maynila ay maari mo nang harapin ang ano mang kalokohan na pwedeng ibato sa iyo ng buhay.

(medyo pinapogi ko yung nasabi ko, pero eto rin naman yung punto nun e. haha.)

delikado ba kamo sa diliman? Subukan mong dumaan sa pedro gil ng gabing gabi. Tignan natin kung di ka masaksak pag napagtripan ka ng mga kumag dun.

Pangarap kong magduktor. Hindi dahil sa pera. Hindi para sa angas. Hindi para sa karangalan. Gusto kong gawing mas mainam ang kalusugan ng mga taong nagkukumahog magtrabaho upang may maipakain sa kanilang sarili. Gusto kong tulungan ang putang nagbebenta ng kanyang laman para lamang mapaaral ang nakababatang kapatid, ang manggagawang sumasali sa kilos protesta upang siguruhin ang kaayusan ng kinabukasan ng kanyang mga anak, ang guro na walang sawang nagbabahagi ng kanyang kaalaman hindi lamang sa kanyang asignatura kundi pati na rin sa kanyang kaalaman ukol sa buhay. Nais kong tulungan ang mga maliliit na mga mamamayang ito, na kahit wala sa upuan ng kapangyarihan ay nakakakita pa rin ng paraan upang makatulong sa pagsasaayos ng lipunang sinira ng patuloy na pananamantala mula sa mga nakakataas. Nais kong tulungan silang maging malusog, nang sa gayon ay mabuhay pa sila ng isa pang araw upang ipaglaban ang kanilang mga paniniwala’t adhikain.

Ito ang kwento ng isang tao na sumakay ng isang regular na bus. Isang tao na kahit papaano ay naisagawa ang mga ipinukpok sa kanya ng kanyang mga propesor sa kolehiyo. Ang taong kahit papaano’y naanalisa ang katotohanang tumambad sa kanyang harapan. Isang taong nag-iisip. Hindi na ignorante. At higit sa lahat, isang taong mulat.