BUSY!

elibs tong prof ko.. hahaha!!! circa 1970 something to tignan mo naman yung kulay... wahahaha!!!!

finally, the 2nd year of my college enters its home stretch... and i am fucking busy!!!! fucking busy man!!!

no sleep!
no eating!!
no play!!!!
no... money!!!!!!
no relaxation!!!

yup this is the UP life... but i guess, life doesn't stop even if you wanted it to. So I go on with my life right now, finish this blog post and continue what I need to do.

two speeches
one fucking hard paper
one simple assignment which i couldn't find
one or two final exams i haven't started studying yet

zero hours of sleep tonight.

nice stats man. I hope I have Dwyane's stats before he got his arm pulled off.. They're nicer.. Get well soon man, the Heat need you.


the Toronto Raptors are bound for the playoffs this April.. I love Chris Bosh. The first time I saw him on TV Vince Carter was still his team mate and he hit a game winning three ball.

I both love Brandon Roy and Adam Morrison. But the 'Stache is a lock for ROY because Bargnani is out indefinitely after undergoing appendectomy this morning.

Dallas and Phoenix. I love Dirk. I hate Dirk's homeboy Steve Nash. The guy's good. I just hate him. Maybe its his habit of licking his palms while playing...
They're going to slug it out for the best record. Well, unless Manu and Co. do something about it.

Gil-Zero is the man you want to watch on YouTube. Or maybe hop on to nba.com and read his blog.

so there... fucking busy me...

yota!!

wow an update from me...

it has been thoroughly busy this time of the year.. lotsa finals.. lotsa paperwork to do... i do hope i finish in time..

just got a new ipod. goodie!

me and my bestfriend are finding new ways to enjoy and be happy...

i want money.. for my nike apparel and 1 GB of ram for the pc....

i want to swim.... missing my pe class....

summer is here... do i get a summer job? nah.. i'm gonna work out on my game... mas masarap magbasketbol no...

did a great job on my bestfriend's birthday week... whew!

i do hope all is well for everyone i know....

toodles....


p.s. i love my bestfriend.. ^_^

GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!

haha.. i am in the mood to blog. And what I am going to write in here isn't for you to laugh at, nor for you to scrutinize and analyze. It is a personal whim of mine. So bear with me. ^_^

t'was one wee sunday afternoon, with me trapped in the mall with nothing to do except have a text marathon with my bestfriend. We talked the usual, until we went to the topic of, well, the women of my past. Oh yes, marunong naman magkagusto sa babae si rc. Pramis. ^_^

From there, my bestfriend asked me to enumerate qualities of theirs which well, one hasn't. Its kinda complicated, because there is this one trying to get in the elite echelon of the women whom have made me fall in love with them. Ayun, so ako naman isip-isip kung ano nga ba meron sila.. And I found quite a lot of funny things about them. haha!!!

all right then, here goes!

there's 3 of them. and all of them are or have:

- seen me cry
- held telethons with me (min. 4hrs)
- heard me sing
- went to my house
- played basketball with me
- their own special song that I dedicate to them up to this day
- held endless text marathons with me
- pictures with me (and i have pictures of them)
- have been asked by yours truly of the "spectacular question" <- super secret question i only ask to girls i like
- received at least 2 gifts from me
- received a Christmas greeting from me
- received a New Year's greeting from me
- received a birthday greeting from me
- received I love you's and i love you so much's from me
- known by my family
- a special nickname for me
- have been treated by me several times
- have received "pasalubong" from.. who else? ME!
- have seen the "dark side of rc fajardo"
- made me appreciate my religion more :)
- at some point, became my “bestfriend”
- at some point, left me

they also:
- know what my favorite food is
- are not killjoy (minsan lang!)
- love mushy movies
- love to read
- have been courted by a lot of boys
- have rejected a lot of boys
- have had their first loves before I came along
- are not interested in video games
- are active in extra curriculars
- are intelligent
- are creative
- are sweet
- are thoughtful
- are always smiling
- are good looking :D
- can be arranged according to color (go figure! Haha!)
- know me pretty darn well
- make me do their bidding (slave kuno)

meron pa!
- nakawalking trip ko na
- nakasama na sa bus pauwi
- right handed silang lahat
- taga Cavite silang lahat
- ayaw nila ng morbid violence (i.e. Saw, 300, Kill Bill)
- mahilig sila kumain
- nakapunta na ako sa bahay nila
- lahat sila below 5'3" ang height (^_^)
- extroverts sila
- AYAW nila ng math at chem
- studious (by my standards naman)
- makulit
- hmmm, may valedictorian, salutatorian at 1st honorable mention! (jackpot!)
- ayaw umarte, in short, tropang backstage
- nakasakay na rin ako sa mga sasakyang pag mamay-ari nila :)
- inis na inis sa akin nung di pa nila ako kilala
- naSILIPan ko na silang lahat >:) (silip lang! PROMISE!)
- mayroon akong picture kasama sila sa kanilang living room
- lahat ng mga kapatid nila kilala ako
- nabigyan na ako ng letter at least twice
- ayaw magpapisil sa akin
- nakita ko nang naka gown
- may 2nd flr ang mga bahay nila
- unang hinanap sa aming bahay: CR
- may special and memorable moment sila sa kwarto ko.. wahahaha!!!
- malakas mantrip
- mahilig mang gago
- malalambing ^~^
- religious
- nakapag rant na sa akin! wohooo!!!

wah marami pa to e.. Just check on my blog every now and then to see if there is anything new. What I do know is this, I loved them all very much. Sana maayos pa ang kalagayan nilang lahat. Lalo na si…. Ummmmmm… hahahaha!!! Go figure!! ^_^

An Angel

Now Playing: An Angel - Typecast

Life's been pretty fast right now.. So much to do, so little time. It seems that you can't squeeze in things like this, typing in front of the white space allocated in your window.

In the whirlwind of life, I realized it is important to find people who are willing to be your company, for when the best moments come, it would be nice if there were people standing beside you experiencing the same moment that you did. That's what friends are for, right? They're the people who tag along your journey in your life and share with you the best, and the worst moments.

I'm kinda not in the mood to write. I dunno. Must have lost it along somewhere. Or maybe, I need that melancholic mood again somehow. Kailangan bang maging malungkot ako para lang makapagsulat? Di naman siguro. I liked the Manila Collegian pin. Its about writing. That writing is not a sanctuary, for it was a choice from the beginning. I agree, penning down your thoughts is a choice from the start. Kasi marami namang iba pang mga avenues to express yourself with. There's art, violence, games and a whole lot more. So right now, I am woefully trying to write some sense into this. Maybe I shouldn't expect too much from me. Magaling naman daw akong magsulat. Sana nga. Refer to the older posts to see me in my best. haha!

Life has given me so much right now. Sure I have a lot of problems to confront like school, social life, money, time, expectations and a myriad of other ones, but in return I get this bunch of people who I seemingly have nothing in common with, and together we pass through life and in the end I call them my friends.

I love being with them. Kahit mga gago sila, ok lang gago rin naman ako e. Kanya kanyang trip lang yan. hahaha!!!

Ang post na to ay partially para sa the FIRM at para kina miko, xtian, ryan, michael at peter. Mga tsongs masarap mabuhay pag kayo ang karamay. hahahaha!!!

This post is pretty non sensical, again brought about by my inability to write and because I really don't know what to say.


Well, I could say I'm happy right now. Me and my bestfriend are in the road of happiness right now. In spite of all of what has happened, we are still here. I love you so much beshie!! You bring out the best in me. :D

And then there was you. Yes, you. You know who you are. Thanks for everything. ^_^

Doraemon. et al.

Hello! Kumusta ang valentine's day ninyo?

ako ok lang! hehehe!!! nagustuhan ng bestfriend ko yung buto (kasi nga aso sya dati, e ang aso gusto talaga ng buto) nakabili ako sa istarbak for the first and ONLY time. hahaha!! ayoko na bumili sayang lang pera ko. Kung di lang kasi valentine's day e.

Kung saan saan din ako nakarating nung valentine's day. Overall masaya sya kasi kasama ko bestfriend ko.

Nasa rob din pala si rossann. Asows. hahaha!!!

O mga bata, simula na ng Naruto Shippuden. 1hr special ang unang episode kaya nood na!!! hehehe!!!

ayokong bumili ng dvd ng doraemon. nakakatakot daw yung boses nya sabi ni dana. Sana may ilabas na compilation, yung tagalog. hahaha!!!

today marks the 17th month of our bestfriendship with my lovable bestfriend. Caz, pupunta ako sa bahay nyo mamaya!! blog lang ako konti ha! ^_^

parang gusto ko ng yellowcab. tsaka gusto ko ng rollback sa unlimitxt service ng globe. kupal naman kasi yung ginawa nila.

naisip ko lang, kailangan ko lang ng 50k para sa mga luho ko. maliit na halaga lang yun o. hehehehe!!!!

sa mga mababait dyan, donate naman kayo ng ipod sa akin. hehehehe!!! pabirthday at pa xmas nyo na. wahahahaha!!! para may silbi yung bulsa sa bag ko na lalagyan ng music player.

ang kyut kyut nung pasabit sa cellphone na nailaw na bigay sa akin ng bestfriend ko. ^_^

bago ^_^

Wow. Antagal ko na palang di nagblog. Yung mga iba kasing post babuy baboy dahil sa dami ng ginagawa. Ngayon ko lang naramdaman ang pagiging UP ko. Wahahaha!!! Dedz ang magpahinga kaya dapat laging on the go.

So eto after ng department week (na mejo enjoy naman) magboblog na ulit ako. namiss ko naman ang magsulat e, tinatamad nga lang ako magsimula. :D

Anu ba ikukwento ko? La naman masyado. Tignan nyo na lang yung speech ko para sa Comm3 namin.

Impromptu sya. 4-6 mins. Bunutan ng topic tapos 5mins para i organize lahat ng sasabihin mo. Sabi ko gusto kong matapos sa 1st day pero ang nangyari ako ang pinaka unang nagsalita. Buhay nga naman. So eto yung speech ko. As I remember it.

BTW maayos na pc ko. May NBA Live 07 na ako, Sudeki, at Suikoden. Ayaw talaga gumana nung Prince Of Persia buset. Naka Mozilla Firefox na rin ako. Buti na lang.

Adik din ako ke Doraemon. ^_^

eto na speech ko. read till you laugh.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I LEARNED IN LIFE

I spent my 5 minutes outside the room reflecting upon my life, trying to pick out amongst the myriad of the things I have learned the most important ones. It was difficult to single out one so what I'm gonna tell you right now will be the first one right off my head. Kinda stupid right? Don't worry, it's not going to boring at all.

In the 18 years of existence here on Earth, I've essentially learned two things. One is always to be myself at anything that I do. I haven't been myself for quite a long time. Its been bothering me and my bestfriend for a long time now. I don't know how I lost myself in the process but somehow, I gave in and let society take over of my identity. Something that you don't always do in your life. My bestfriend accepted me as I am, the perverted, maniacal and very annoying me. Its not safe to say that by allowing society to manipulate your identity you avert a lot of problems. Sometimes it works the opposite way. My bestfriend and I are in the middle of a fight right now so please bear with me if I break down into tears in front of you.

The people around you do have an effect in your personality, but ultimately it is up to you to decide what you will become in the future. As for me, I have my own goals, which I know how to get and when to get them. Life stops when you stop dreaming, so for everyone of us in this room, let us not forget why we are still here, becuase of our dreams and aspirations, and let us not forget why we are in this university, because we know we can fulfill our dreams with its help.

The second thing I would like to share with you is, never let fear get the most of you. For once fear takes control of you, it becomes a very formidable wall to overcome, sometimes too much for people. Always be a step ahead. We all have our own personal fears, but my piece of advice for you is to just do it. Fear of failure is your fear already gripping you. And the only way to overcome it is to face it head on. Easy to say but hard to do. It has and it will bring out the best in us, for like gold and iron ore, it must past first through fire in order to bring out its inner beauty. Well, my time is almost up, so to sum it all up, always be yourself in whatever you will undertake and do not let fear get the best of you, but rather let it bring out the best in you. Good Morning. ^_^

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

so that's it. yun na yung speech ko, medyo edited yan kasi di naman photographic memory ko. Pero yun na yun. hehehe!!!

i love my bestfriend. She brings out the best in me. ^_^

debate.. debate.. debate...

antagal ko na palang di nagboblog.. hehe di ko na magalaw sa dami ng ginagawa ko...

well eto na naman, speech na naman para sa debate. tama ba yun? ok lang sana kung di inatake ng topak yung kalaban namin at yung committee na in charge e. POTEK!

so ayun, buhay pa naman ako at masaya. yun muna..

mahal na mahal ko ang bestfriend ko.

^_^

Ezekiel The Xerox Man

tis the 17th day of the month sooooo... happy beshie day!!! hehehehe!!!

had fun hanging out with my bestfriend, eating lunch @ Shakeys and making the most out of the day..

the things we hafta do are piling up. time to start doing em one by one... or else we're dead! haha!!

i'm really sorry if the blog has been dormant for a while. got caught up with a lot of school work, and a lot has been going on. I MEAN A LOT.

the lost in translation series will be postponed for a while. ran out of candidates for depressing songs. suggestions are welcome. thanks!!

vincent's blog has been nominated again. pls vote for him. click on his name vincent albert on my links and follow the instructions on how to vote. keep voting people!!!!

got any Metal Gear Solid themes for 6600 phones? send me one!! i'd appreciate it! thank you!

ahhh so much to do but so little time... poor me...



what has been happening to rc fajardo right now:

well, i am in the process of making good to my ever beloved beshie. i am so in trouble because of my shortcomings to her. she has done so much for me. I need to give her back what is due. :)

then I have this debate which I will be participating. oh boy. The Firm will have to pull out something good on this one. haha!

i am enjoying my subjects right now. except for one... the prof is a very potent sleeping pill. though i learned one thing, the true identity of xerox man!!! hahahaha!!! and thus the title of my post for today.

i am now obsessing myself on MGS4 and Naruto: Shippuden, which airs on Feb.15 (thursday). damn i cannot wait!!!

so there. gotta go. still lotsa work to do.. *poof*

wooops!

someone was ticked off by my latest post..

uh-ohh...

tsk tsk tsk...

ok so i will be a very good citizen and erase it immediately. hahaha!

so there..

in other news about me:

i just started watching smallville season 6... goodie!
my phone is back! yahoo!

happy birthday ryan!! mamat sa libre! hahaha!!! sarap ng pizza!

i'm sorry if i have not yet updated the lost in translation series. i don't have the time to sit down and think of other songs YET.. hopefully it will be published next week.

i am very anxious about my subjects. things will get very hard soon. oh boy...

ok got to go! hafta do some homework! :D

lost in translation: part 2

i'm really sorry i wasn't able to finish already my list of depressing/sad songs.
xmas came by and well i had to prepare for it. i hope you've enjoyed your xmas.

oh yes my dad and I have finished the whole Alias tv series. It only has 5 seasons..really, really worth checking out. i cannot believe jennifer garner still shot the freaking show even though she was pregnant..

i am typing in my notepad today as i have found out that it is better to type in herebefore posting anything on blogger. and then i have a back-up in case my beloved pc decides to hang up on me.
so here we go i hope i can complete the whole list in this entry.. i just discovered that blogger doesn't want entries which are too long. but what the heck i don't really care! haha!

7. Masaya (piano version) - Bamboo

An old adage goes, "love is but a great irony..", and yes my favorite Bamboo song aside from 214 does justice to this saying.

So ironic is the effect of love, a great mystery as people would like to say. Every now and then we confront ourselves with questions as why we do this and that, ask ourselves if there is justification in the actions we do. Love is an unfathomable concept, an idea very hard to grasp, yet is all over us. Everywhere we look we find manifestations of it. Everytime we sit down and think we can only wonder, why is love so powerful?

ok, so much for that. I think the song needs not a full digestion of its lyrics, just give it a listen. Particularly this version. I'm sorry if I'm fickle with versions, but the piano arrangements of this song are amazing, performed by the wonderful Ria Osorio of the Phil. Philharmonic Orchestra. The piano has done wonders to the song, adding layers of sadness and monotony into the song..

ang pag-ibig, ganyan talaga, ako'y nilamon na ng pag-ibig, ganyan talaga, masaya...

6. Broken Sonnet - Hale

You didn't think they wouldn't be here eh? Think again...

Considered as the masters of "iyakan" songs thanks to the voice of frontman Champ, Hale's songs will be forever the common girl's choice for the perfect sentimental head trip. Loneliness? Depression? Anxiety? Name it, and they've got a song for it.

Not taking away anything from them, they don't really suck. The songs they make are well written, except for a bump or two in their choice of words.
But why Broken Sonnet? Yes, we all know there are better songs than this but allow me to explain. Broken Sonnet is about the realization of a lost cause. Imagine, finally giving in and admitting to yourself that, despite all of the hard work and sacrifice, you're not really fit for each other, i mean, you and the your prospect (excuse me for lack of a better term)
if there is one thing people hate to admit, it is the admission of defeat.
the chorus of the song goes like:

i'll leave my fears behind
coz, tonight i'll be right at your side

forsaking common sense for the cause of love is a regular habit of people. you can't really blame them, love is like a drug.
the pre choruse provides us with supporting ideas:

i don't care what they say
i don't care what they do

a lot of people do that. they leave and drop everything behind. a lot of sacrifice has been made, but at the end, it all boils down to nothing.. such is the pain infused into this song by Hale. A masterpiece.

5. Only One (acoustic version) - Yellowcard

A song so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes, in public.

I heard this one on my friend's pc, and boy I was so blown away by the whole song. The instrumentation, the arrangement and the voice. An absolute ear candy.

I really had to cry in public because this song hits you hard, especially people who consider someone as their one true love, aka their Only One.

Yellowcard's Only One is probably the best song to dedicate to the person you love the most. Nothing is sweeter to a person's ears when someone tells you that you are their only one. Unbelievable.
These are the lyrics of the song.. Read on:

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up
And I give up

I just want to tell you so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up
I feel like giving up
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one

well, what have I got to say? Total surrender to the person you love. Unreal..

So, why is this depressing? Its about someone who was left by his "only one". How sad can that be? Trust me, it can be very, very sad and depressing.
so, we have to cut this one short. Don't worry, we'll have the complete list soon, I hope..

*jana says i'm articulate? what? i don't even know what that means! kidding! thanks for the complement!*

=END OF PART 2=

lost in translation

the past week has been a bugger... well sort of.. I went out too much, and as a result, I slept outside of our house for the first time since I was 9 yrs. old. hahaha!!! bad rc, baaaaaad rc!

so there, the result of going out which started in paskuhan sa ust that ended up somewhere between the sofa in lee's condo to the alabang escapade which had me spending the whole night outside the house was a bummer. but then again, it made sense to me. i was challenging the authorities too much, that my father had to step in since my mom cannot keep me on a tight leash. i still hope for a new phone. come on my good and very loving parents! give me my sony ericsson w710i!!!!! *cross my fingers*

why are there no small Transformers robots in Festival Mall? why? why? WHY?

meanwhile, let me share you something I picked up while loitering in Powerbooks ATC...

Hidden amongst a stack of books in the shelves of the beloved bookstore is a funny little doodle by Tom Reynolds.

Its called I Hate Myself and I Want to Die: the 52 most depressing songs you've ever heard. Its a damn funny and good book. Tom Reynolds' witty banter in analyzing these 52 songs ranging from the Barry Manilow wonder "Mandy" to Celine Dion's "All By Myself" to Evanescence's "My Immortal" is sure to make you laugh out loud. My beshie and I enjoyed reading the book, and yes we did laugh a lot. It was a fun read for anyone in need of something to joke around with. But make no mistake, the songs included in the book are big ones, which dole out the best of the best in suffering, self pity and depression.

So here I am now, trying to have fun before Christmas rolls in around 12 midnight, to give you my own list of depressing songs.

Criticisms, suggestions, new ideas and violent reactions are welcome. This is a very subjective list. And no, I will not make a 52 song list because I'm too lazy for that one. For this, 10 songs will be enough.

How will I be picking the songs? Simple. Any freaking song that makes my tear glands swell up should make the list. A question may arise, but that would make it a list of sad songs right? Don't worry, I'll try my best to separate the sad from the depressing, if there was such a difference. So any input from you will be welcome. Okay lets do this:

Oh, they're not in any order. Let's just make them as we go along shall we?

10. Director's Cut - Kamikazee

Yes. Jay Contreras and the rest of the boys know how to make good depressing song. Don't let the rocking instrumentals fool you. Listen closely to the lyrics. The scenario is all too familiar. The song chronicles the feelings of someone who just got left in the air by the one he loves. Despite the effort and all, he still gets dumped. Frustration laces the song in its whole. "Lahat ng gusto mo/tamang sunod ako/nagtataka bakit biglang ayaw mo na" is one line in the song which I can relate well. (ok don't ask why)

This song is perfect for the days right after the break up. Lakas kasi manumbat nung kanta eh. hahaha!!!

Another line goes:
At kung hindi/na babalik/sana sa paggising ay wala na ang nadaramang sakit
At kung hindi/na babalik/pilit sasabihin na hindi ako nagkamali

aww so sad is the one being left by the person he truly loves. Who knew Kamikazee knows how to pull heartstrings? Or am I the only one who feels this song? hahaha!!! Moving on...

9. What If - Menaya

My goodness. Sabi ng Menaya nung nag guest sila sa Breakfast, pang JS prom daw yung kanta. Its more like for a funeral of a friend if you ask me.

This is the song of love bordering obsession. Something like, I did it all but you won't even notice kind of song. The song repeatedly asks the question what if to the subject (in this case, let us say the one you love)

The song hits those who have long been suffering in silence, unable to answer the lingering questions he/she has because either they don't have the opportunity to do so or they don't have the courage to.

A part of the song goes:
What if cry?/What if I die?/Would you care about me?/Would you ask me how I feel?

These things are questions you don't ask to anyone except, well maybe your closest friend or your significant other. What if goes out there and screams out the freaking questions bottled up inside you. So if you can't really tell somebody how you really feel, let them listen to the song. Maybe they'll get it. Maybe not.

8. Rebound - Silent Sanctuary

Ah the violin. The local version of Yellowcard, Silent Sanctuary abuses the innate ability of the violin to make people sad. I personally rank the violin first ahead of the piano as the saddest instrument ever made. Sarkie Sarangay, the songwriter of the song masterfully tells the story of a bittersweet romance. It reminds me a lot about myself. Which is well, sad. The gist of the song is a lamentation of a someone who was used by his/her love to get over someone. Kung baga panakip butas. Thus the line "Rebound mo lang pala ako", and the song's title in itself.

The first verse of the song goes:
O kay bilis naman/Magsawa ng puso mo
Ganyan ka ba talaga?/Bigla na lang naglalaho
Para bang walang nangyari/Di mo man lang sinabi

The chorus goes:
Sana'y hindi na lang/Pinilit pa
Wala ring patutunguhan
Kahit sabihin ko pang/Mahal kita

See what I mean? The song has the bitter vibe of someone being used.

Nakakainis talaga/Nagmukha tuloy akong tanga
Pinaasa mo kasi/Puso ko ngayon tuloy lumuluha
Bakit iniwan mo kong mag-isa/Ilang araw lang ay babay na

Thankfully, the song doesn't lash out. Its a smooth and easy one to listen to. It also helps that the violin arrangements are great, courtesy of Seton Alumnus Jet Ramirez, and PPO's own Kuya Chino (i call him that. go figure)

Feeling bitter because you've been used? Give this one a listen. Shout out to _____ _____! I personally dedicate this song for you!

-END OF PART ONE-

4 days to go

aba mantakin ninyo december 16 na, pero hindi pa rin malamig...
pansin na pansin na natin kung gaano kainit, gawa ito ng global warming. ayaw kasing seryosohin ng mga tao ang pag-agap sa polusyon, ayan hala sige painitin na natin ang buong mundo!

aantayin na lang ba nating sing-init na ng summer ang disyembre natin sa mga susunod na taon bago tayo kumilos? ayusin nga natin mga buhay natin pwede? ang kahit anong gawain na makakatulong sa kalikasan ay malaking bagay na. paano na yung mga susunod na mga bata? lalaki na lang ba silang sanay na sa mainit na disyembre? o di kaya ang mainit na buong taon?

di naman ako aktibista para sa kalikasan e. pero para sa mga taong me kapangyarihan dyan, gumawa naman kayo ng paraan. di yung kayo lang ang may karapatang magpalamig!



hmmm ok yun ah. pwede nang speech para sa isang rally. mag-aktibista na kaya ako? hahaha!!!

apat na araw na lang. apat na araw at december 20 na. at malamang sa malamang pupunta ako sa pamantasan ng santo tomas para makita at iabot ang munting regalo kong pampasko para sa aking pinakamatalik na kaibigan. hala, di ko nga alam kung magkaibigan pa rin kami e. basta alam ko ayaw nya akong kausapin nung nagkita kami nung septyembre. ang galing.

ang hirap bumili ng regalo. andaming iisipin. pero hinayaan ko na lang. nabili ko na e. its the thought that counts ika nga nila. ang inaalala ko lang baka meron na sya nung ireregalo ko. cross my fingers sana wala pa.

hanggang ngayon di pa rin kami nag-uusap. di ako makapaniwalang ganun sya kaabala sa mga ginagawa nya. daig pa nya si darna. asus...

nakakainis pakiwari ko binura na nya ang lahat ng ano mang alaala nya na may pagpapatungkol sa akin. wala namang namagitan sa amin (wahaha talaga lang ah!) kaya di ko alam kung bakit di kami magkaabutan...

lagi na lang walang load, lagi na lang may ginagawa. lagi na lang alanganing oras. lagi na lang bawal. ganun ba talaga kasaklap ang timing ko sa tuwing susubukan kong kontakin sya? tama lang sa kanya yung diligence award na nakuha nya nung graduation namin. bakit ba sya nasa uste e pwede naman sya sa up. bakit ako wala namang award pero sa up nakapasok? baligtad yata..

ansaya mamili kasama ng beshie ko. (kahit na ang binili lang naman nya para sa kanya. hahaha!!) bibilhan nya ako ng transformers!! yahoo!! sya pa ang mauunang magbigay nun sa akin. akala ko noon si %&*^ e.. pero wala malas lang talaga.

ansaya nung araw kahapon. may concert na libre at nakanood kami ng beshie ko, kain kami ng kain ng kain at laboy ng laboy. salamat sa araw na yun beshie ko! hehehe sana nag-enjoy ka rin! ^_^

di ako bitter, pero naisip ko, di pa nga ngayon ang tamang oras para ibigay sa kanya yung dream catcher na pinangako ko noon... dun ako nangako sa taong mahal ako.. di sa kanya.. hahahaha!! ambitter amp...

hindi ako naniniwala sa mga summer flings? kayo? ^_^

freaky

Now Playing: Typecast - Scars of a Falling Heart

Its already december 9 and I haven't got out and do my christmas shopping..

well, I already planned it on the next saturday, which is december 16th, which coincidentally is the 1st day of the Simbang Gabi. And Nicole's birthday. Wonder if I can call in the States to greet her personally... Well since I don't know how to dial for international phone calls, might as well scratch that.. haha!!

I went to Dasma yesterday to enjoy the fiesta. Thanks a lot to Ruthy for giving us the food we have been raving about since we were in Manila. Haha!!

I'm pretty much freaked out right now. Maybe I'm just nervous. No, maybe anxious is the correct term. I'm gonna be somewhere in december 20, where hopefully a lot of questions will be answered.. I know its not going to be a picture perfect day because there are too many factors to consider. And to tell you the truth, I really don't know what to say when that day comes. Heck, I don't even know if I am going or not..

Is half a year really that long? You know, long enough to erase your existence.. Everytime I think about it, I feel that I just met her for the first time. Kala ko talaga di ko na sya kilala.. Which is bad, since it becomes an impediment in my thought construction. Di mo alam kung ano sasabihin kasi nga di mo na kilala.. Bad trip....

I really hate my 18th year. A lot has gone wrong since my birthday. Its killing me. haha!!
Maybe I should use my birthday as an indicator on how my year will progress. Feeling ko tuloy nahawa ako sa beshie ko, pero pag pinag-isipan ko, oo nga ang bagong taon ko nagsisimula rin pala sa birthday ko. On my next birthday I am going to be happily celebrating, so that my year would be better than this... Or better yet, I should wish to have a better birthday next year...

Really I am freaked out.

random things about me lately:
- just finished monk and the simpsons season 7. Am trying to find new dvds to watch
- i am angry at my mother for bringing up a pathetic excuse not to buy me a new phone
- still trying to think of what to give to the people this xmas
- wanting to go to tower records and grab the Typecast cd, and Incubus, and Sandwich, and Dashboard Confessional, and Silent Sanctuary, and Sugarfree, but no money.. Damn!
- still trying to think what to write in the letters I will give this xmas
- just fed myself to the lions as I recently volunteered to partake in a debate about homosexual marriage rights
- will participate in 2 debates this sem, no plan to expand that, but hey, its a great exercise for my comm3 class
- am trying to get over her, uhh not really. just trying to get over my fear of public speaking
- am learning to organize thoughts while speaking in front of the public
- still no orgs for me (mabait akong bata!)
- so happy that the Naruto fillers end in Feb as confirmed by Shonen Jump! (finally! something to look forward to next year!)
- preparing for med school by studying the brain
- am totally nervous for december 20!
- formulated the name of our college barkada, THE FIRM. Yes to UP TFI! nyahaha!!!

kudos to all of us in THE FIRM! we went neck-to-neck with the best and we bested our expectations! haha!!

too bad Sir Ramota didn't really get what we meant regarding the TFI and commercialization.. HINDI NAMAN KASI SILA SAME WAVELENGTH E!!!! /gg na lang! ^_^

welcome to the point of no return

I haven't been myself for quite sometime now..
I haven't even been honest to myself, and to those people who know me..

It seems to me that I have lost myself. I've lost track of my life, maybe I just didn't care. I'm currently adopting the laissez-faire approach to life.. If only life can be thrown away easily, then maybe I won't even have this dilemma of mine right now...

I've taken time away from it already. But since yesterday its been bothering me. Now suddenly all of these questions pertaining to this person arise, and still there are more questions just waiting to be formulated. Questions do give rise to many more questions..

Its eating me right now.. Myself actually. Here I am, a breathing body torn between two souls. And little by little my sanity slips away from my hands, no matter how much I try to hold on. It has been quite some time now, since this happened. I am once again drifting away from this reality, and onto my own sick, sad little world. A pitch black darkness. I once found myself seeking answers and refuge in this place. It was definitely wrong, but I insisted. Somehow I found comfort, but I never found clarity. The answers promised to me were not there. It was just me and myself. Myself which has now sprung out from its dormancy and has been asserting itself over me. The "me" part is bit by bit growing tired of suffering in silence. Images surface, payback, revenge, bitterness. But the "me" has been resilient enough not to give in to "myself"... That last tiny bit of hope is still there, a hope that I have been clinging on for such a long time. Half a year IS a long time. Very long if you ask me..

This single-minded, stubborn and viciously loyal devotion to an individual, how is it formed? How does someone put up for someone who doesn't even give an effing damn to their existence? How long can anyone suffer in silence? Does living in sadness eventually bring clarity? Is there any clear cut criteria or basis to know if you really do love yourself? To those who tell me to love myself, how do you know that you love yourselves? Do I not love myself enough? How do you know when you are loving yourself or that you are becoming selfish? How do you know when you have done enough? When does the sacrifice end?

What do you do when the craziest of all your crazy dreams come true? What if the reality you live in exceeds your expectations? Does anyone here have an idea where I would start looking for my answers? Maybe I'm a little too close. Maybe I'm missing something.. I am THIS close to throwing away myself. I am THIS close to being hopeless. I don't want to lose any part of me, most of all my sanity.. I don't want to be like Nietsche. I don't want to be crazy.

I am afraid. Afraid that what I would do anytime right now may cause my downfall. I am sad. Sad that I could not muster up the right words to say, even if I got a whole lifetime to figure it out. I am anxious. Anxious that I may figure out what the answers are, but it will all be too late.

I think it out over and over again, but I still draw out blanks. I think about it till my head hurts, but I still draw blanks. I think until I couldn't sleep anymore because its already morning and the sun is out, and still I draw blanks.

I've been here before. The same situation. The same, exact person. All but way too different circumstances. It feels like I am new to this. It always seems to be the case. Why? Didn't I learn something from what happened before?

I don't want to beg. I don't want to look like some fool trying to get back illusions of the past. I just wanted a second chance.. Maybe its too much to beg for a second chance. But I don't care.. Heck, I didn't even care all of my life..

I'm stuck with too many questions, and too little answers.
And again, here I am..
Welcome to the point of no return..

>.<

Dang panget nung font ng aking huling post.. haha sabi ng beshie ko magblog daw ako. Ayan ginagawa ko na. Masaya ka na ba? hahahaha!!!

Marami akong gustong basahin, tulad ng socio at psych book namin, pero di pa ako nakakabili e!! hahahaha!!!

eto ang araw ko..
Thursday: Nov.23, 2006
- woke up at 7am, at wala nang tao sa bahay at napakakalat nito dahil sa mga kapatid ko
- nood ng Breakfast on Studio 23 sandali, guest nila si Ria Baustista ng Paramita (na tutugtog sa skul sa Dec.5 sa MOrg LivE!)
- tapos kain ng almusal, 2 chiken sandwits, 2 clover at isang tomi
- nanood ng Monk, season 4 na ako (shet matatapos na ito! ayoko pa!!!) alam ko namang may susunod na seasons pa to pero wa pang kopya e... ang ganda na nya super dramatic na... haha must see show ito!
- dumating si yaya at naglaba at naglinis
- sa Frio Mixx kumain ng lunch kasi andun ang beshie ko na nagpagupit (at napansin ko sya agad!!! good for me!)
- umuwi sa bahay at gumawa ng psych case study
- dinaanan ang suit na pina dry clean
- pumunta sa court upang maglaro ngunit di nakalaro T_T

haaay ayan ang araw ko same same lang. Pero enjoy ang walang pasok! hahahaha!!!
dapat ang gawin ninyong sked 3 days na lang din!!! hahahaha!!!

ayan ok na to, sa susunod kong post malamang December na!!! yehey!! >.<

Happy feet!

Yes I have watched already the movie they call Happy Feet which features penguins, penguins and more penguins!! Plus your usual variety of antarctic seals and whales. Kind of like the movie Eight Below, but without the Siberian Huskies.

Its a great film. Its just that there's something wrong with it. Not sure where it is, can't put a finger on it.

Kiko Machine has once again found its way back into my player.

My head is throbbing, I am in need of sleep, which my dear school does not permit its students to do. So sad.

Jagged Alliance 2 is an old game, but it is still so good. Yeah.

My cellphone is back! Though I cannot use my mem card.. Long story but it is frustrating me thoroughly. I need a new phone!!!!! Really!!!!

Beshie, I'm really sorry for what happened.. Yeah so whats new? Well what is new is that I will be doing changes come next year. Its on top of my New Year's resolutions.. Be a better bestfriend. ^_^

NO school for me! hahaha!!! I love my 3 day week.

With fortitude I will overcome all adversity, and with a smile in my face I shall gently fade away from the summer night...

That was a long title.. Anyway, I'm really bothered by this feeling I have when I was on the bus going home.. Funny thing is, it isn't the negative bothering feeling you get when something is amiss. Yes I still have my problems to address. Yes I do have a lot of compromises to make. But believe me after this one I'm not going to be the same person anymore. I'll be... Someone better, not something different. I'm gonna make damn sure that I get everything that I want, and I know how to get it.

The 2nd semester's opening week gave me this ray of light thing you have in the movies, like, you know you have stepped on the right direction for the first time. I know its just a step, but its a start. A great start if I may add.

Wow, I feel so good about myself that I can kill the president right now and get away with it. hahahaha!!!!

So there, like a triumphant blowing of horns and trumpets, complete with the star-studded entourage I proclaim the start of the Takeover (ala Gilbert Arenas), an attitude I have set for myself to accomplish all that I want to do. haha!!!

Okay so I'm a little overboard with that one, but still, I'm really excited and ecstatic about this new found hope of mine. I'm gonna nail this one this time. I promise.

in other news....

A few days ago I had a little chat with Kate, who seems to have become my shrink. Well, she's a Psych major so no complaints about that. Yes Kate, SHE is embedded upon my subconscious. No I do not want to exorcise her from myself. I'd rather get her back. I'm gonna get her back, mark my words on that....

Christmas season will soon begin, and Manila has experienced chilly mornings as of yesterday. It is that time of the year to give out gifts and letters to 2 very important women (yes they are both 18 already and are worthy to be called as such, though it makes them a tad old..) in my life. Em gonna write to my two bestfriends, one of which has already discarded me and had me left for dead sometime in May. No I'm not angry at her, I never will be, maybe I'm just a little annoyed, things didn't go the way I imagined them to be. Have to set the record straight..

The other one, well, I've been a jerk to her for about half the time we have known each other, and its time to give back what she was bound for a long time now. I'm gonna make sure you are happy this Christmas.

I made a lot of promises today. Well, time to start doing them one at a time. Hopefully everything will go well. Peace y'all!!!!

Congratulations Martha Nicole V. Rabaino for getting her braces off a few days ago. I miss you!!

.... and as the last summer night dawns to a close, I close my eyes, reminisce and reflect on what I have done with my singular life. And I will surrender all of what I have done to the Lord Almighty, with it my life which has dutifully served its purpose here on Earth.
- Hymn of the Summer Hero

2

Now Playing: The Infatuation is Always There - Typecast

watta nawiwili ako sa typecast. tunog dashboard. pero noypi. buti naman. hahaha!!!

anyways, its a good week for me. I arranged my sked, (actually, its my beshie who arranged it for me) to only have 3 days of school. hay sarap maluwag ang linggo ko!!! hahaha!!!

i'm already feeling it right now.. the problem is I don't have a lot of stuff to do and I have a lot of free time in me. plus I got a raise in my allowance, which gives me an opportunity to save a lot of money for Christmas..

I'm really frustrated right now coz I don't have anything serious to rant or talk about. Well maybe I'm just lazy or I'm not in the mood.
A lot of people have been setting up blogs as well. Good for them. They actually realize that they are already in the year 2006. hahahaha!!!

I'd be dropping 1.0s this 2nd sem. Mark my words my name will appear on top of that f*^%ing list!! MARK MY WORDS!!!!

so far so good. I should refrain from watching tv and using the pc too much. Its getting in my eyes. hahaha!!!!

A big shout out to the people who visit my blog. Thank you very much! ^_^

peace!

...

ah nothing to do, nothing to say..

life's pretty boring right now.
hope all of you people are enjoying yourselves right now... not me...

hay nako wala akong maisulat!!! update lang!!!!
- lapit na pasukan
- may aayusin pa ako sa buhay ko
- sana maayos ang 2nd sem ko

...

Naruto at Full Metal Alchemist

Eto ay isang magaang kasanayan lamang sa pagsusulat..

Well, wala naman akong ginagawa ngayong mga araw na patapos na ang sembreak. Sa Nov.14 pa ang pasok ko. Which means mga 1 buwan ng pasok tapos Xmas break na!!! wahoooo!!! di na ako makapaghintay para sa susunod na bakasyon!!! ^_^

Bakit ba ganito yung pangalan ng blog? eh kasi 2 na ang japanese anime na kinaaaliwan ko. May kapartner na yung Naruto ko. Isang dvd ng complete Full Metal Alchemist. Nung una noong pinapalabas pa sya sa GMA di ko nagustuhan kasi di ko naumpisahan. Tama nga yung hinala ko maganda sya pag naumpisahan mo!!! haha!!! at ang ganda pa nung oav nya. Kaya bibili ako ng Full Metal Alchemist the Movie kasi andun yung ending talaga nung series. Hahaha!!!

Pupunta raw Divi ang nanay ko bago mag pasko kaya balak kong sumama upang bumili ng mga shorts na panlakad at tsinelas at mga dvd.
Eto pa ang mga anime na balak kong mabili sa Divi:
- complete Hunter x Hunter
- Chrono Crusade
- Yakitate Japan!
- pinakarecent na ep. ng Naruto (syempre di mawawala yan)

ayan nakakawili kasi silang panoorin. Bakit ba puro GMA tong mga anime na to? hahaha!!! kasi nga we are anime sila... hahahaha!!!

sana naman maisipan na ng mga gumagawa ng tv series ng Naruto na ituloy na yung kwento sa tv. nakakainis na kasing maghintay. hahahaha!!!

Di ko pa napapanood yung Monk tv series na pinahiram sa akin ng beshie ko. Pero natapos ko na yung mga libro ni Mareng Agatha Christie (3 days) at Pareng Paulo Coelho (2 days). Astig si Agatha Christie magsulat ng mystery novels. Complete at flawless ang execution. Kaya pala sya nagustuhan ni beshie ko. At ngayon si Hercule Poirot na ang paborito kong detective.

Si Neil Gaiman naman ang susunod kong titirahin. Matalino magsulat si Neil Gaiman. Nakabasa na ako ng Sandman (salamat ulit sa beshie ko) at natuwa ako sa kanya. Sa kanya ko natutunan yung myopic reflex e. (tanong nyo na lang sa mga batang taga nursing o med)

Ayan lang. Masarap pa rin magbasketbol. Masaya na rin magtext maganda na keypad ng cell ko e.

hahaha!!!

err sa mga gusto ng ringtone ng naruto o full metal, pakisabi lang sa akin send ko sa mga email nyo. hahahaha!!!

gusto ko nang matutong magdrowing ng transmutation circle.. matagal na akong marunong mag seals e. ^_^